That's all you need to know, Chai. If it is not good for you, then it ain't happenin', IMHO.

Please, please, please do not sacrifice for him or the hopes of him becoming a decent human again. He has put you through so much. Enough is enough, my friend.

I'd give him a big fat......



Fox

Chai - beware - the man's need for drama and a reason to hate you is insatiable. This is a set up.

Silence, or a final response from attorney to close the court case. Any response - yes or no would feed his inner drama queen. And from your descriptions, his heart can't handle anymore flab so no feeding the DQ!

Have DD relay the message that "Mom can't give me the money I need because she spent it all on a 9mm Glock (in pink camo) and shooting lessons at the local range...

She was gonna get the 45ACP model but it would take two weeks because they would have to order the pink one and she didn't want to wait that long."

Then have her ask again. (Nicely, off course)

Maybe not...

Given the entitled way he reacts to things. He'd probably take you back to court demanding that it be included in the settlement as marital assets.


Has this guy had a severe head trauma recently?

Un-freakin-believable...

It was communicated through my atty. I now know a little more.

Here's the deal. He has been ordered to take a credit card in my name and pay it off. The payments have been killing me. He wants to take less of my 401K in exchange for me taking the debt. My fear is that if I don't take the deal, he will take my 401K and then not pay off the card and I'll still be liable. My atty said he would be in contempt in that case, but how far do I want to go on this. Nothing is ever cut and dry is it? I thought about taking that portion of my 401K that he would get, and then pay off the card, but I would have to pay taxes and a penalty on the withdrawal so it would cost twice as much.

kayla, I do think it's a set up but not sure what else he has to gain here.

The risk that I take is that he won't pay it off.

Thoughts? Anyone had a similar sitch?

I wanted a reason to do this...

thanks, Kayla

Mark,

You are funny.

He sure is entitled though, isn't he? It was the same in court with my business. Since the investment didn't pan out the way he wanted it to, he then wanted his investment back (and more). Wouldn't it be great if we could gamble and keep the winnings but get our money back when we lost? I don't think it happens that way. Just ask the stockholders of Enron.

Tell him to read between the lines and hold up three fingers as to which line it is.

DO NOT do it? You have a court order that this is what he is supposed to do. I would imagine after all this, all the accusations and crap he doesn't do what the judge ordered? Oh yes... who wants to be in court for that.

DO NOT DO IT.....

DO NOT MAKE IT EASIER FOR HIM.....

This is in case you are even thinking about it.

what she said.

Chai, he's a POS and only looking out for number one. You look out for you and DD.

How could he take your 401K if the court order doesn't allow it?

Ok Chai, this is how you need to respond.

Dear Mr. Atty of the wayward a..whole.

I am sorry that I cannot meet your new demand. This is what WH wanted so we have no choice but to comply.

Need to go. I have an appointment....with MY HAIRDRESSER

Gosh darn you Hope, now I have to change myself again. Me thinks we have two budding stand up comedians....

Actually, you should look at this as a gift. By communicating that he's thinking about not paying your credit card off, you can either:
1. have the courts garnish his wages now, or,
2. force him to pay the credit card off before he gets his hands on his half of the settlement.
Mr. Wondering might have other advice, but given that WH has already indicated that he's trying to skate out on things, you should be able to force his hand to handle his side first.
And, no, Mr. Idiot, you do NOT get to have the deal that was on the table. You bluffed and lost--no asking for your ante back. Sorry. Not.

Or leverage him to accept even LESS of the 401K in exchange for not having to pay off the credit card.

Mark

Now there is thinking outside of the box, or you can have him pay all your penalty fees for early withdrawal.

I like Mark's first idea better


There is a judgement in place. She shouldn't have to worry (or even think) about this at all.

If you are flexible on this particular item - how much is he going to begin to want to change OTHER items in the judgement.

Don't let it start or there will never be an end.

IMVHO.......

Fox

I absolutely agree with this and reinforce it. Oh and Chai, there is a very LOVING phone call message on your voice mail from me. DARLING......

Hi Chai-

This is an interesting question:


And the answer is: Yes it is cut and dried when it's been settled by a judge. When a judge rules on a case and the ruling is recorded by the court clerk, it is now a "court order"-not a "suggestion"-or a "I-changed-my-mind-so-let's-renegotiate-it".

Nope, it's an ORDER. If your WH doesn't like it, he will have to face the person who ordered it-the judge-and explain how he thinks the judge didn't rule fairly based on some aspect of the law etc... I'm sure the judge will be very interested in hearing that from your XH and/or his lawyer.

You also mentioned something about paying the credit card with your 401K. If your XH is going to get part of your 401K as part of the settlement-let him pay the fees and taxes. If he doesn't roll it over into another investment, he gets to pay.

A lot!

Chai, dont let this ba$[censored] get away with this....

I was thinking the same thing. I am going to ask my atty if I can force him to pay it before we release any assets. I think the problem is that he can�t afford it because of all the money he gives Miss Mullet. Too bad. I can�t afford it either. He has a job, I don�t.


I thought about this one too. If I had a job and could pay off the card I wouldn�t hesitate to make a deal like that, but as it stands I would have trouble even paying the card if I kept it.

Fox and JT, you two have a very good point. I wonder why they think they can deal after the judge makes up his mind. I have an appt with the atty on Thursday so I am going to ask him about all of this.


�Loving� Queenie? You kicked my butt into China girlfriend. Whew�.. You convinced me. I will not give in!!!!!

Thanks for all of the feedback. I was so caught off guard by it that I just didn�t have a good chance to think it through.

Just remember Chai, when dealing with a wayward-even if it's an EX-you are dealing with a very entitled "adolescent" who is throwing a humongous "I'm a grown-up and should be able to do whatever I want" and then a "It's NOT FAIR!" tantrum.

Drama Queen is right.