Luna,

Where are you? Hope all is well.

Hi CL,

Thanks for bumping up my thread.

I am OK.

Just to bring you up to date.

Had to go in for surgery....nothing serious... and I thought it was a good excuse to take a 'break from life'....

Started going back to work this week, and am slowly back to dealing with 'reality'.

I am eager to catch you on some threads and see how everyone else is doing.

Hi Luna,

How did the surgery go. I sure missed you alot. I look forward to the way you always are able to work through your feelings.

I'm having a very hard time tonight and so I'm going to try some of you.

Was this surgery planned?

Hi Queenie,

Going back to work turned out to be quite demanding. As you can see, been off the Board, and just now read your last post.

It was not major surgery, and no surprises so far, everything is going as expected...so everything is good. Thank you for your interest.

This time of year around here it's income tax time, so I am also a bit busy with that.

I am also enjoying reading Eckhart Tolle 'a New Earth'....in small chunks!

It's been quiet on the WS front....but I expect at some point to pick up where we left off. I am not rushing.... right now I am more into letting things 'unfold'. That also seems to describe my overall approach...letting things 'unfold'... taking time to appreciate what I have... and focus less....much more LESS... on what I don't have!

So...lurking on the Board seems to be more in tune with me right now. That is not to say that I don't think about you all... because on a regular basis, everyday, someone 'pops' into my head... and I have nothing but 'good wishes' for you in my heart.

I trust that you are all OK...and that each one of us does the best they can to navigate stormy and quiet waters....

MB FRIENDS

Good to hear from you Luna. Glad you are OK....

Hi Luna,

I agree with Chai, it's so good to hear from you. We miss you dearly, but I'm glad you are ok and taking care of yourself.

You are so important to us on here, please don't stay away so long.

H CL and Queenie,

Thanks for keeping 'tabs' on me.

For the time being, not much going on in my end... will keep you posted as I expect things to 'pick up'.

In the meantime....lurking on your threads and others and keep up to date.

Take care.

Luna

Glad you are OK Luna. Looks like both of us are in a holding pattern right now. I hope to have more time to post tomorrow evening. Until then, take care....

Hi CL,

...not moving 'forward' as it looks like WS is busy with 'work' and we're both busy with paperwork re taxes.

WS was to 'check into' the fiscal impact of some the contemplated transactions and get back to me.... no news.

WS has door 'wide open' to come and pick up furniture....no news.

I guess WS will put some pressure WHEN he has more time on his hands.

Personally, I am getting better at 'factual' exchanges with WS without triggering....which is good!

Unfortunately, some news leakage re WS surprised me.... trying hard not to read too much into it...other than WSs don't know WHAT they want!

Since the Fall, WS lives with OP in one of our properties, and travelling to work in my area. DS13 announced to me that WS was considering 'moving back' to our area.....to make things 'easier' for DS13? ....WS can walk to work?

Obviously the big question for me is: with or without OP? ....as OP's son just moved into HER apt (just above WS) where they now live! ...and it was just a few weeks ago that WS happily referred to being part of a 'new family'....wonder if WS is finding it too much of a good thing!

WS's make such a mess...acting on impulses....and driving everybody around them crazy! :crosseyedcrazy:

Luna,

Update on the move back? How are you doing?

Hi CL,

Thanks for bumping up my thread.

Been quite busy with work.

No news on the WS front, but that's because I know he's been busy.

I try to minimize 'leakage' of info. re WS from common friends. Don't want to censure them necessarily but won't sollicit info. about WS.

When I don't want to take any risks and feel vulnerable, I usually go for 'new' friends who have never met WS!

I feel a little out of touch from the Board, but I certainly think of many of you and miss being up to date on how you are all doing. Hopefully I can catch up this weekend.

Hey Luna,

Looking for an update. Where are you???

Hi Everybody,

I thought I would take the morning to 'catch up' on my MB friends as I have been quite busy and been off the Board for awhile....
but not going back to May!

...until I read Moderator's message.

...that will teach me to 'catch up' more frequently.

I miss you Luna.. What's happening with you?

Hi Queenie,

I am focused on working to get my life in 'balance'...

...to continue to have the courage to do what it takes to re-connect my head and heart (beginning with an 'inventory' to see what's in both! ) the patience to not comprise until any action taken is acceptable to both... in so doing... get one step closer to answering, what I think, are some of my needs (or not...and if so, no sweat! ): harmony, peace, clarity, lightness, connection, confidence, joy, to name a few...

I believe I am well past the 'distress' phase...and D-day now seems light years away... (newbies take notice!...and it's best not to ask how long it has taken me )

I feel each step I take, whether it be forward or backward, now has purpose and direction.... I have less and less the need to look back..nor to look forward...but rather flow freely, like a river who knows it's destination, appreciating its path along the way and just BE in the 'here and now'

I don't think I have ever felt this much at peace in my heart for a long time, and yet the reality is that the numerous challenges I am faced with have not necessarily diminished...
what has changed is my 'perception' of them....

I am also learning to let go of the superfluous more and more....and to focus only on what I find purposeful in my life.... getting rid of the 'clutter' that weighs us down along with the many purposeless details of life that take up waaaaaay too much of our precious time on this earth.

...put all that together, and you can see 'what a difference a day makes'

...like Dorothy's journey to see the Wizard of Oz, only to realize that SHE had the power to return home anytime...

...the journey WITHIN, is both long and yet so short...

Take care, Queenie.

I'm on my way out the door to get to work. BUT I see you are on. I LOVE you and will come back and read when I get to work.

I'm glad you are giving us an update. I really have missed you so very much.

From the quick glance over, you see more at peace. Boy do I understand that need and desire.

Anyways. Have a sweet day if you are gone when I come back.

Wow Luna, that was beautiful!
I'm in PB and PD is a distinct possibility in the near future.....I feel that I'm taking that first step onto the path you just described and cannot wait to be well along my way. Thank you for sharing!

Luna, Thanks for posting. I was a lurker on your thread for a long time. I am glad to see you are doing well. You are more at peace and you deserve that peace...

Luna,

Glad to see you back. Your post was an inspiration to me. I hope to one day get to that point too.

You have come a long way!!! Wow. I am in awe....

Stick around girl.

Even though I am not post-D, yet (however, with a firm advantageous offer on the table for WS, I expect it will now move forward...FAST!), I have worked 'deligently' enough on myself to no longer need Plan B for protection.

My perception of the affair, at this point in my life, is to consider it as I would in a literal sense - giving birth to a 'new life' (painfully short-term, with a potentially enriching relationship long-term - in the case of a BS: personal recovery with/without M recovery).... with the baby being....ME! ...as I watch myself....GROW....ever since D-day! ...yes, a fully grown woman 'crawling on all fours' determined to stand up "ON MY OWN!" ...developing new, healthier 'coping' skills, and in so doing, actually raising the 'bar', where I would rather be 'alone' than 'settle' for an unhealthy, unsafe relationship, of any kind....intimate or othewise!

At this point, I see contact with WS as a 'challenge' and as an 'opportunity' to measure my progress! ...and now accept to meet WS within very 'firm boundaries'. YES!

WARNING TO NEWBIES: do not try this stunt without preliminary prerequisite
(Dark PLAN B as long as needed: to protect BS and allow for a successful attempt at stopping the bleeding, and get the 'healing' of the wound WELL underway...and avoid comparisons....as....uhmmmm.....some would say 'yours truly' has taken a little longer than the average to get to this point!)


Latest on some WS contacts, approached with the LEAST expectations possible on my part:

I still live in the 'family home'. WS is being cooperative (wants to move on with his life?? ) and offered to finalize any 'unfinished' repairs he had initiated (short-term it saves me money, long-term, property will sell better $$$ - as once a single-owner, I intend to consider selling it and move on ), and for the most part, this has progressed fairly well, and has provided me with much needed financial relief.

Last week, however, I had issues with the furnace. As we are still legally co-owners, and as WS always "managed" furnace problems, he accepted to be there when serviceman came, to answer 'technical' questions.

Unfortunately, serviceman was running late....and WS decided to consider it as a 'window of opportunity' to again "communicate" to me the necessity, in order to be responsible parents and for the well-being of the boys, that we communicate freely, keeping each other informed re boys in general, their activities, schedules, low points, high points, etc. (which I continue to do within the 'safety zone' of Luna but to WS's unsatisfaction ;))

To be sure, the above is MY 'paraphrasing', as WS's 'method of communication', unsurprisingly, still remains: Disrespectful Judgements and Angry Outbursts (accusing me of being inflexible, enfantile, less of a parent, egostical, uncooperative - and I forget the rest) ...in order to get ME to feel guilty enough to do what HE wants.

After a few exchanges, realizing WS's 'state of mind' (lost in his rage), I chose to no longer 'waste' my precious time. I got his attention with a moment of silence, as a confident fully-centered Luna, practicing what's called 'dis-engagement' in some circles, simply stated that WS had the option to do one of two things:

- either respect the intention of his presence (to answer technical questions should the serviceman have any)
- or, should he be unable to stop his numerous accusations against me, I calmly asked that he simply.....LEAVE the house!

...in the meantime, as the serviceman was running late, I would be doing some paperwork in the 'other room', while he decided what he wanted to do.

I expected WS to storm out in anger at my ungratefullness of his presence.... instead WS chose to stay! ....is he somehow sensing that it be best to keep the one 'toe' he still has in a door that is about to be fully closed shortly after post-D (at the exception of an emergency related to boys)?

...as Luna's intention to invest herself only in healthy relationships becomes clearer?
...with people capable of expressing gratefulness and appreciation of my presence in their lives, as I do of theirs in mine?



NEWBIES

...so please do not despair, and know that life on the other side of D-day, given some effort and accepting to fall at times, as would a surfer, in order to learn to <ride the waves>, can be very very SWEET indeed!