Great! Nothing like a thoughtful birthday present.

Well done TM for sending email hope you get the breack you need, keep us posted!

Hi All,

I got replies from 7 of her FB friends. Most were telling me that I was sad and embarrassing myself. WS and OW are very much in love and I should just walk away and leave them to it. I have responded to all with thanks for their reply. One person was particularly rational and kind. So OW does know some good people.

Anyway, here are the two e-mails OW sent me:

Thanks. Great conversation for my party....
and

BS,

I'm sorry for the rude e-mails I have sent over the last few days but you really made mad. It's not like me to be vindictive or go out the way to hurt someone. That is plain and simple just not like me. I honestly feel bad and it is heavy on my heart to have done this too you when I know you are hurting.

This is all I am going to say and you won�t hear from me again. Just please don�t contact any of my friends or family. You know that is not going to get you anywhere. This is between you and WS.

Don�t read into this that something happened or WS asked me to do this because I just decided on my own. Takes a lot out of you to dislike someone�..I realized that over the last couple days.

Thank you,
OW

Any thoughts?

TM

I read OW's e-mails out to my sister and she said that it will push them closer together. My sister said that WS would see from her e-mails how much my exposure is hurting her and will want to comfort her.
This is the opposite of what MelodyLane says and whilst I want to believe Mel it does seem more logical that he is going to care more for the feelings of the woman that he is actually with.

WS didn't reply to my forwarding of OW's e-mails, although he did call yesterday three times without leaving a message.

If WS calls today, how can I get across the message that I only did it because I care about him and want to recover our marriage? To non-MBer's the exposure will undoubtably come across as a desperate action by a woman scorned.

If WS doesn't call today, how do I now Plan A someone who is Plan B'ing me?

Thanks,

TM

Well done! I suspect a few of those were "knee-jerk" reactions, and those friends might develop an entirely different point of view when they take time to actually think about what you said in your message.

As for the OW's message, looks like she's realised her previous approach did not scare you away, and she's now trying something different. In any case, there's no need to have further contact with her friends and family, as the exposure is done.

The FB friends are toxic enablers that have bought into her lies.

They will be held accountable on the day of reconing.

Time to make the affair financially unpleasant.

Lawyer up, get a spousal support judgment and start dividing assets.

I agree that if WS cannot afford all the trips and outings that he currently pays for, OW may not find him as attractive.

However, I have never relied on WS for any form of financial support. We have always divided the bills up equally and although we had joint credit cards, we never had joint bank accounts. I don't know that I would have a case for spousal support because I really don't need it.

I agree with Pariah.

If you're so worried about WHAT PEOPLE THINK then just go ahead and file for divorce, to prove to them that you are not desparate, but trying to shine light on evil before you move on with your life.

No one here can help you if all you care about is your image.

Your image is already shattered because you 'weren't good enough' to keep your man. Just keep on acting like that. Take the advice of your one sister.

Or take the advice based on THOUSANDS of experienced people and follow the MB plan.

Your choice.

When did I say I was worried about what people think? I don't even know these people. I couldn't give a toss. My image is untarnished amongst the people who I do know and who I care about. I said I didn't want WS to think badly of me. That is different. He is one of the people I care about.

I have already acted on the advice of the people here by doing the FB exposure. I would never have done that otherwise.

The point about what my sister said was that it interested me the different viewpoints people can have. I was keen to hear what other MB'ers think about it. My sister has not given me any advice in this whole process. All my sisters support me 100% in what I am doing and not one has suggested that I file for divorce. I said right from the start that I was speaking with a coach and would follow whatever advice he gave me and everyone accepted that.

I know I have a choice and I made it a long time ago never to give up on my marriage.

Where did you say you care what people think?

Here:

And here:

If you don't believe in what you're doing, if you aren't MAD at being cheated on, why should anyone else?

Maybe no one has had the discussion with you yet about your H's anger at exposure. Here it is: Your marriage can survive your H's anger; it can't survive a third person in it.

Also, do you want your H to think you're a doormat, or a woman who DESERVES great respect and better treatment? If you just slink along, he will continue to lose respect for you. And OW will look better and better.

Fighting for your marriage makes you look strong, smart, and full of self-respect. In other words, WORTH KEEPING.

>I got replies from 7 of her FB friends. Most were telling me that I was sad and embarrassing myself.

And?

The seed of doubt is there now. These people will be holding their own spouses that much closer at her party because they know how both of them are.

Good job!

Hi catperson,

You seem to be taking my quotes out of context.

I found my sister's viewpoint interesting and that is why I mentioned it. I like to hear lots of different people's opinions on things. I find it broadens my mind. Yes, she sees things different from others but in reality nobody knows whether OW's e-mails will make WS defend me or comfort OW because we are not WS and we are not there.

The non-MBers quote was in relation to my question of how can I get the point across to WS that I exposed to save our marriage when he will be seeing it from the viewpoint of a non-MBer?
I would still like some suggestions for this in case he does call me.

And yes, I did say to WS: Our marriage can survive your anger and it can survive your infidelity. It can't survive with a third person in it.

I haven't been slinking along. I've been following the advice given me by Steve Harley.

Thank you. I do think that I am strong, smart and full of self-respect.

Fair enough. The way I read your discussion of your sister is that you were thinking of dropping MB plan simply because she said differently. If not, good for you.

TM,
If you get any more replies from POS-OW's friends, respond like this: "While I understand your desire to see your friend happy, I'd hope you'd see it from another point of view as well. For example, if POS-OW had decided to target YOUR man, and suddenly THEY were happy and in love, would that be OK? I'm asking you to look at things the way God would. Quite simply, is it right to be a homewrecker, just because it gives you hedonistic pleasure? And if so, does that mean that turnabout would be fair game as well?"
Do unto others--the golden rule, my friend.

Furthermore, before you start thinking about MB as some sort of cult, with views contrary to what makes sense in the rest of the world, I'd ask you to consider this:
Conventional marriage-saving techniques (no exposure, no plan A, plan B, etc) have a success rate of around 18%. The MB success rate is more than FOUR TIMES as successful.
Whereas, 18 out of 100 struggling marriages might recover conventionally, 80+ our of 100 struggling marriages recover when the participants use MB. Which odds would you rather have in your corner?

Time to go and seduce OW toxic friends husbands and send them pix and video tapes.

Now you have confirmation that the two of them discussed the emails that SHE sent to you.



THIS sounds like what SHE told WH to defend HERSELF when he confronted her about the emails she sent you.



New tactic to get you to back off from exposure.

Your exposure worked!



Her BD party is ruined.

But, so is the good opinion of her friends. That will hurt a long time. And it will SOUR their affair.

This is how it works. Her affair isn't as perfect as it once was....when no one knew what she was up to.

Pariah is joking, of course! right Pariah?
We lead by example, not by getting into the mud and rutting with the other pigs..
Hold your head high. Keep the moral high ground.

Now if this was Dude posting this...

Never mind...

Mark