It's now time for YOU to scr*w HIM over financially.

Sue him if you must for contempt, etc. Make him worry night and day about whether he's going to have to pay this or that.

Make him depend even more on Miss Mullet.

Make him wish you'd bought a Glock...

Chai,

I'm away for a bit and come back to see several pages of discussion around your consideration of a REQUEST by your now EX husband to amend what is a DONE deal.

Can you please explain to me WHY in the world you are wandering down this path at all?

Seriously, cause I sure as heck do NOT understand why you are wasting your time and energy on this.

I do not think this is good for you in any way, shape or form.

It's done.

It's over.

FINALLY!!!

Time to put your energy into moving on with your fabulous future & the infinate possibilities that await you!!

You are responsible for one thing from now on,,,,,,,,,


Sounds like a great gig! Start enjoying it and leave him in the past where he belongs.

I KNOW it's easier said than done. BELIEVE me, I KNOW!

I realize that there is still 'love' in your heart for him. You worry & care about him. But it's time to make it a TOUGH love. As in TOUGH luck, buddy, you made your choices & it's time that you learn to live with them.

Luv ya bunches lady!!!

Chai,
Just make sure your attorney does his job. Don't release ANY 401(k) funds until he's either taken the cc debt in his name OR he's taken out a loan and paid it in full.
No bargaining. He had a chance to bargain.
This is where attorneys earn their keep. Getting the judgement is only half the battle.

I just said



Met with the atty this morning, and they wanted me to take the 21K debt and he would take 21K less of my 401K. I don't think so. I realized #1 that right now I can't even afford the payment, #2 that if I paid the debt, I would have thousands in interest charges by the time it was paid off and #3 if I withdrew money from my 401K to pay it off, I would have to withdraw twice as much to cover the taxes and penalty.

The judge's decision said that he would have to put the debt in his name. My atty is going to stipulate that he has to do it within 30 days. We are then proposing that the rollover from my 401K be one year from today when an annuity matures.

And Mark, I got my 357 Magnum back. Since WH had made such a big deal about it, I had given it to the atty to keep. The judge said that I get it. I had to agree to register it within 30 days, but my local police said there is no gun registration in my state so looks like I may not be able to do it.

So, it still looks like I will be D'd by the end of the month.

I kind of knew that the court would order him to put it in his name. But if your XWH does not pay, do not be surprized if the credit company comes to you for payment (of course they have your "old" contact info.)

This happened to BCsis, and she was threatened by the credit agents.They told her that they did not have the court order "on flle" and they did not have to listen to a judges descision, anyway. <<< wha? sd but true.

Her atty told her that this shouldn't but does still happen, and really nothing happens to creditors who do this.
(I guess they feel it is in everyones best intrest if they collect as much as possible.)

So, chin up. You are getting there.

Good for you...there is another way... you could estimate how much in taxes, penalties, fees, and interest you would pay if you took this deal (interest if you figure you would pay the CC until the 401K began paying out) and subtract that from the amount of the 401K you would pay him...so say, you would pay the $21 thou CC if he took $11 thou less from your 401K (or something like that). With a counteroffer it would be him saying no...

But I like the simple no too...

Football analagies keep coming to my head when I think of your situation. The game ended, more or less, and WH called a timeout with a second left on the clock. Wanted a review by the referee on the last call.

Both sides discussed and the initial ruling stands.

Now, just down the ball and the game ends. We all know there's no winners in a D. I wouldn't even call it a tie, but's that's probably what it is. A 0-0 tie. So noone really feels like they won. It was a wasted game.

Interesting how our teams take on the various sides of the ball during the ordeal. We're on offense part of the time and defense part of the time. We think we're winning only to have the ball intercepted when we least expect it. And do we fumble during the game.... lots and lots of fumbles.

This football game, however, has no rules. You can kick and spit and play dirty all you want. Occasionally the fans see and once in a while a penalty flag gets thrown, but it comes down to the two teams on the field.

I'm sure, CL, that this feels like the longest game in history. And the stats will continue to get worked and posted for the record books. But really, when it's all said and done, only you and WH will remember all the plays.... what happened during this quarter or what happened during that quarter. What plays your coach called. What cheers or boos you heard from the fans.

At the end, you walk off the field.

Game over. Season over. Time for a cold one.

HH-I like the football analogy. I'd add that not only did the game end in a 0-0 tie, but both quarterbacks were knocked out with injury for the rest of the season. Take the knee and go home to play again next year with a new team.

Hi Chai-

I did a bit of researching about the whole credit card situation and found a helpful link:

http://www.expertlaw.com/library/family_law/credit-cards.html

I'll be in touch-

Thanks JT. I sent this to my atty.

And thanks to everyone else for your support. It helped me make the decision.

I just hope he doesn't cash in his chips before this is all over.....

Good. Waywards suck.

Chai

Even if he does, is the D final? If not, that would mean you get everything (without a will) I you are D'ed then his estate owes you...

Good point. The D is not totally final yet. He hates me so much that I am sure he has changed the will by now. I could probably fight it but how much would that cost? UGH.

SD Good to see you around. How about an update?

Now this really is starting to get old.

Atty called me this evening to tell me that WHs atty is filing some kind of motion regarding the credit card. Something to do with having the interest that I have paid for the last two years deducted from the amount. WTF? Is there no end to this thing? I was walking into the symphony as he called, so I just didn't have time to think about it and ask any kind of intelligent question.

I'm not sure what they are trying to pull now, but how can they keep doing this? Can you just keep questioning the judge on his decision? Can you appeal a D ruling?

The man is nuts. Now he is going to spend another several thousand dollars (and force me to do the same) over a few hundered dollars in interest.

I need to get this wayward out of my life.

I thought time expired and the game was over. Guess they added more a few more seconds on the clock.

Take off interest on a credit card? WTH. So he only pays down the principle? Wouldn't it be nice if EVERYONE who uses a credit card or has a mortage or a loan would just say -- Hey, can you take off the interest charges?

Suck it up, WH. You obviously ended up with the credit card to balance out something that CL got. So if you want to argue off the debt, then you have to give up something in return.

It's not like the credit card company is asking for the balance to be paid in full today. He can do what EVERYONE else in this country does, transfer the balance to a NEW credit card and pay off the debt over time. That way, your credit card shows the debt as being paid, WH gets the debt on a new card with probably a low interest for the first few months, and he pays a little each month until the debt is gone.

Not much to it... unless I'm missing something.

Hey -- CL -- have your WH call my WH. They can talk "creative" financing. My WH is pretty good at it. But... opps... I think he forgot something today. See... the partial support payment I got last week. Well... I waited to cash it today. Waited until the account balance (since I can see it on line) was less than the check. Opps.... WH will get hit with an overdraft charge.

I'm bad.

Hoped you enjoyed the symphony even though you are still playing in a game with time on the clock.

You have GOT to be freaking kidding me??!! This man really is incredible!



Truer words have never been spoken!

Chai - well, if nothing else, I HOPE this helped you get past the empathy you were feeling for him lately?

Sorry he's dragging this on,,,,,,,,,,,,,again!

It's time for your attorney to pull out the final executioner guns. Stand up in front of the judge & run down the litany of things your WS has done in this sitch & DEMAND the judge end it once and for all!

I know it's hard to believe, but what goes around does come around - Eventually. It will for him, too!

Keep your chin up and chest out!

Sorry, CL, about your WS.

He's just making it easier for you to WANT to move on!

And please add on your atty's fees for this last bit...

He is welcome to go against the Judge's ruling if he wants to take it back to court, but you don't have to keep paying for it...

So when you get the petition for the motion, or that he is suing you, countersue adding your atty's fees if he loses...make him think twice about dragging these petty differences out....

If the D is not final there is no new suit, it's just a motion. Chai can respond and request attorney's fees but usually in something like this, the Judge will just split the difference UNLESS he sees the motion as frivilous-- in which case he will award attorney's fees.

I agree, this is splitting hairs but I've seen worse. I have one case now involving an annuity that was awarded in a divorce almost FIVE years ago. They're still fighting over it even though the divorce was finalized long ago.

He's obviously stalling.