Who is?

She means that WH is stalling. Not sure why he wants to keep wasting money like this. So stupid.

So I just get an email forwarded to me from my atty that originally came from WH's atty. It claimed that I have held this up all along, that I wouldn't settle blah blah blah. That I have run up the cost of this. Whatever.....

Peleezzeee.

This is the time you just want to get into WHs face and scream:

"You got what you wanted. Now man up, accept the judges decision and MOVE ON. Who cares if it takes 1 or 5 or even 50 years for you to pay off the stupid credit card. YOU GOT WHAT YOU WANTED so stop whining. Now go back to Skanky and get the F out of my life."

Whewwww...

I think he has gone off the deep end, Chai....Waaaayyy off...I think you are being punked.

Have you noticed Ashton Kutcher hanging around anywhere?

You know, in his mind I think he really believes it and sometimes that really bothers me. Nevermind that he could have had this done 2 years ago if he would have accepted the agreement that my atty gave him then. He would have saved about $40K in atty fees and been $20K less in debt. But I guess that is my fault too. I know, it wouldn't matter what I did, I was still going to be at fault.

It almost makes you want to laugh. The fog clouds every area of their lives it seems.

I figured now that WH's atty has milked this and gotten his payment, he can now safely accuse me of holding it up. He dare not accuse me in the middle of it. It's safer to accuse me now that it's over. It looks better that way.

As I said.....WHATEVER.

You know HH, sometimes I think that is what I should do to get that "closure" I need so badly. Maybe it's that simple. Ugh, would that be what we would call a big Love-Bust? Who cares? The love has been busted to sh1t anyway.

Chai, Hugs to you.

Catching up. What fog babble crap. When my XH starts to whine about finances or on his pity pot -- I always reiterate this was not my choice, this is your D, and I did not cause it. Always turn it back to him.

One day at a time.

Chai, I wrote some stuff to you on my thread too, so get over there....But now I was laying in bed thinkin bout what you said about your parenting skills, and how hard you are being on yourself....

I have a cousin who has had off and on drug problems for years...now it seems that she is doin well with it...but anyway...My aunt and uncle are wonderful people and they raised two children....

One has been married a long time....has a really good job and has never touched drugs as far as I know and I was close to him for a long time.....The other has had bad drug problems since she was a teenager, been in jail, rehab several times now she is in her late twenties and seems to have it under control (fingers crossed)....

My point is that my aunt and uncle raised two children and look how differently they turned out...Sometimes $hit happens, so please do not blame yourself for this stuff....you are such a good person and a awesome parent....

I guess other moms know how hard it is to raise children and I cant stand when a good person says they "screwed up" or they are not a good example for raisin children....So cut it out...

Chai, you're doing great--just hang in there. Your STBxH will regret this someday. If he doesn't, then you really didn't lose anything anyway, right? Not. Worth. The. Effort.
Ignore him.

UGH. You are right. I don't know why I let that stuff get to me.

After division of assets, I owe WH $26K from my 401. The email from his atty says that WH will transfer and just use it to pay the credit card (21K), the tone being that I could have done the same thing. Duh. Guess he doesn't realize that he is going to have to pay taxes and a penalty on the withdrawal, so he will need to wd about $40K to cover everything. And surprise, if he doesn't withdraw enough to pay his taxes and penalty he will be screwed because you can only withdraw once per year before age 59 1/2. He can figure it out come April when he owes money. I always took care of this stuff for us.

Oh well.

Just make sure he can't withdraw any more of YOUR money
And yes, the taxman will not be satisfied if that's what he thinks he's doing...

Atty told me today that they will put in the Domestic Relations Order to Fidelity to have it rolled over. WH wants his money NOW. He can't take anymore from my account than what is ordered in the document.

Sooooo, he would need to pay on the CC until the motion is filed and a judgement comes from that?

According to the email his atty sent to mine (the one that accused me of dragging this out) said that he would use the rolled over funds to pay off the cc. I am going to monitor that very closely.....

What he was offering you was not a good deal at all.

$26K due to WH from 401k.
$21K due to cc from WH.

So -- he offers you to take cc debt and he "waives" rights to 401k. Makes it look like he's giving you $5k, right?

WRONG!

Lets just say that this 401K money is intended to pay off cc debt.

First of all, whoever cashes in 401K money to pay the cc bill is doing themselves a world of hurt.
They will have to pay income tax on $26K, at 15% (nominal tax rate) the taxes on that are $3900.
Plus 10% early withdrawal penalty of $2600. So for that $26K, they would net less than $20K to pay a $21K cc bill. And in reality if the federal income tax rate is higher, the net goes down even further....

Bad Bad Bad deal....

I took it as the other way around WH was getting the $5k and he has to pay all the tax and stuff...I am soooo confused...I am not lookin forward to all this D crap... .