Luna,

Happy Holidays to you too. You have been such an inspiration around here, and you have come so far, WOW!! I strive to get to that same place and I will follow your lead....

Chai, Luna didn't get to this place by osmosis. She has worked her A$$ of for it. My sweet friend, you CAN HAVE this place too. It's hard, but you CAN do it and I'm right here with you and will do anything I can to help.

Queenie, Pep, FF, CL....

Thanks for your thoughts and support.

Please know that all the encouragement and inspiration I get from all of you here is a major contributing factor to my on-going personal 'recovery'...as, in fact, when I came here, I was 'lost'....

You have all helped me get to a place where I now consider each and every day as a gift... full of opportunities... surprises... adventures... that I approach with full of enthusiasm, as would any explorer setting out to sea into the unknown

...and for that, I thank all of you here at the MB Board...from the bottom of my heart.

:HappyHolidays:

Thanks Bugs.

...and from me to ALL...

:happynewyear:

...with a message of hope (particularly to Newbies whose world as they knew it has just been shattered to pieces and cannot yet even begin to imagine)...that life can be 'good' again.

I am here to say that it can....and it does!

...if you want it and if you believe it can be.

To get you going, I invite you all to make a committment to yourself to start DOING one, only ONE, 'healthy' thing per day (be it big or small, taking 15 mins, a day - even a week when you get better at it , and which costs very little or costs a lot - depending on where one is at...with room to fall off the horse as long as you promise to get back on it! )

...the intention being.... only YOU, only NOW...DOING 'something' you have always wanted TO DO, or would encourage someone you cared about/loved... TO DO!

Five years ago my family was my world....and I was taking care of everybody except....MYSELF.

I have corrected THAT!

...my family STILL means the world to me....

...but I now learn and continue to learn how to 'recover' and take care of....ME!

...and I am here to say, that it's worth the journey.

If you BELIEVE.....then watch, as I have......see the world go....

from dark to...light
from despair to ...hope
from fear to...strength
from limitedness to....limitlessness

...because we are ALL worthy of the effort, attention, patience, courage it takes to TRANSFORM our worlds...so that it is a better place TO BE!

ALL MY LOVE

Luna

Thanks for continuing to post, Luna. Happy New Year to you, too.

And perhaps some of your wisdom was gleaned through osmosis... because the more times us stubborn BSs hear it, the more likely it will sink in that we are worthy, we do matter, we didn't deserve this, and -- most importantly -- recovery is achieveable.

So keep up the inspiring words and actions. Let your LUNA - light continue to shine in 2010.

sniff...that is inspiring and beautiful!

I am a newbie and this is just the kimd of thing I need to hear over and over and over. Thanks so much for sharing.

Thanks for dropping by...HH, Pep, FF.

...and HH....


Thank you for sharing this with me...

...and, yes, HH, count on me....to be here...UNTIL!

Hi migsamac,



Thank you for reassuring me that my presence here for some may have a purpose....


Hang in there, and have a good day.

Luna!!!!!!

This will be YOUR year girl. I am glad that you continue to stick around here because many of us follow in your footsteps....

Thank you.

Luna,

You keep on shinin' that light of yours around here, lots of folks need it as they try to make their way around some of the dark paths brought on by infidelity!

You are indeed a blessing to all!

Hi CL & Bugs,

Thanks for the encouragement and words of appreciation.

...at the worse of times (as is the case for many here) 'hope' that there is a 'life' on the 'other side' is helpful in persevering ... to have hope, it helps to SEE...have PROOF....that it can happen, it exists, it's POSSIBLE!

I do consider myself PROOF that not only can one 'survive' an affair....better yet, one can...THRIVE!

Have a great everyone!

Hi everybody,

Just a quick update from my end.

WS and I have an 'informal' document on hand drafted by mediator summarizing assets division, etc.

As we have arrived at an agreement, there is the possibility of retaining and sharing the cost of one lawyer to draft proposal and present same at Court for D proceedings (and reduce costs for both myself and WS, unless contestation of any sort comes up).

As part of the agreement, by now, WS should have come to get furniture that he requested to have (which I know for a fact he doesn't have anywhere to put! - but that's his problem ).

WS: Last week he emailed me wanting to know, before he made moving arrangements, if I wanted to keep the said furniture 'for the time being' as he did not want to 'deprive' us (me and the boys) of their use.

Luna: I politely 'thanked him' for the offer, but suggested that we proceed as planned. Besides, it has been quite some time now that the boys and I are learning to 'do without' much more important things. And who knows, it might just help me to consider 'downsizing' and moving to premises more suited to my new status? (which I am seriously considering doing should I find better suited quarters for myself and the boys, and saw it as an opportunity of communicating it to WS...as I believe WS may think of Luna as the 'family home' caretaker ...but no more!)

Basically, WS can't SAY that Luna is 'stalling' anything because he is getting pretty well what he asked for, except for 'friendly co-parenting' with Luna! (Just last week, DS14 had a track meet and WS called to tell me how important it was for DS14 to be there and offered to give me a 'ride'!...which, of course, I declined! ....preferring to take public transportation instead )

So, what's the problem? I don't know.

I suspect things will move along whether WS likes it, or not.

It just gives me more time to 'regroup' and get healthier.

I enjoy my work and colleagues. I am taking yoga and belly dancing classes. I have become a volunteer 'dog walker' for my city's animal humane society. I am part of a NVC (non-violent communication) group meeting once every two weeks, which is more or less a group of people helping each other learn more about ourselves and how to 'be in and enjoy the moment'. My circle of friends has widened enough so that should I want 'to out', all I need to do is find one that is available. I am appreciating this time in my life when I don't have to 'answer' to anyone...just needing to 'coordinate' activities with the boys.

I am choosing NOT to consider being in an 'intimate' relationship, so here and there, I have 'pangs' of loneliness, but am learning how to work 'through them' in a healthy way, taking life 'as a process' rather than a 'destination' of any sort.

Life is good.

Take care everybody.

ITA. Luna, you are doing just great girl.

So proud of you!!!!

Hi Pep,


I think it's also a way of keeping a 'foot in the door'...and I am telling him, after D and paperwork has been settled, contact will be limited to emergencies related to boys! No 'what's passed is passed'.... no 'sweeping under the rug'....no 'friendly co-parenting' (as he had hoped).

My incentive for now is to sign final 'papers' only once he has at least picked up what's 'his' in the home. As WS can no longer claim that Luna is stalling D proceedings...the ball is now in his Court!


My 'intention' in all communications with WS from the beginning is to have 'nothing to do with WS' so long as OP is in the picture. WS still believes he can persuade me to do otherwise (or just a means to relieve his guilt?) while I intend to stay true to that committment as a means of respecting myself!



If WS is serious about wanting D as I think he is, inspite of his disappointment that Luna is not prepared to be part of what WS calls the 'expanded family' (meaning living separately, WS be allowed to have/live with GFs, with Luna on the 'sideline' meeting whatever 'family' needs OP can't meet), I expect him to move on it...and if not, I will consider what options are available to help WS along!

If this is a marathon....it's my way of pacing myself so that I will not be out of breath at the finish line.

Know what I have grown to respect about you Luna?

Your self assured attitude of knowing what is right for you.

BRAVA !

Hi CL,


Thanks for the support.

Just checked your thread. Sounds like you're not doing so bad yourself. Go girl!