Plan B isn't about 'working.' It's about you retaining your sanity by not having to deal with him every day. It makes no difference how it affects HIM.

Plan B is for YOU. Write your letter and hand it to him as he leaves.

I agree with lurioosi, if you are having suicidal thoughts, you need to find someone to talk to now. Do you have any family or close friends nearby that could help you out with the kids for awhile and give you a break? Looking at the ages of your kids, I can certainly understand why you are feeling overwhelmed, and having to deal with M problems on top of that would be enough to push anyone over the edge. You really do need to get some help and start taking care of yourself.

BH,

I have not been active on your H's thread. I'm usually very quick to spend time with a new wayward here. Something has not set right with me from the beginning of his postings here. My thought at this point is that your H has taken his A underground or he is involved in a new A.

From reading your post today, my concern is that you are dangerously close to a nervous breakdown. I would recommend that you call your family doctor immediately and talk to him about your situation (possibly anti-depressants if you aren't already on them).

One of the best ways to overcome the stress and anxiety is to enter into Plan B. You are a perfect candidate for Plan B. I would recommend you keep the appointment with Steve Harley and talk to him about how to go into Plan B. BTW, Steve IS a counselor. They just choose to call themselves coaches.

Whatever you do, please take care of your immediate needs. Make sure you eat, drink plenty of fluids, and contact some people who can help you and ask them for their assistance with your children and with your home. My wife contacted our church, and they were willing to bring meals. Some of her close friends agreed to contact her everyday to make sure she was eating and to see if she needed help with the kids that day.

Break your day into small portions of time and only focus on that small time chunk. Eliminate commitments that aren't absolutely necessary. We only have today to worry about.

{{{{{{{BH}}}}}}}

BH28

What about MIL? you said she is supportive of you - she knows the deal. If you're worried that WH will stay out of pity or sense of duty or fear then let him for just those reasons and know that that is why he is staying.

You can then make a plan to build yourself up and get the help you need and then let him go. Make good use of him while you are feeling like this.

This is a fallacy:
He did NOTHING to keep you from MB. YOU did that. YOU can do anything you want. You can't control him, of course, but you CAN control you.

So...time to stop the stinkin' thinkin'.

Go to www.unitedway.org and find the center closest to you. Call them and ask for help. That's what they are there for. Millions of Americans pay billions of dollars each year, just so United Way can help people in spots like yours. Make good use of my donation!

I know it isn't the same as talking, but I have been down the suicidal road before - I don't talk about details on boards much. If you want to get my email from the mods it would be fine. In the meantime, look at those childrn. Mak a list of all the friends and family who care about you. They would be so devastated if you ever hurt yourself. And suicide attempts fail more often than not - they are horrible and painful. This isn't an option!

I have prayed for you and will continue to do so. You are a valuable person.

BH28 - you have mail. I guess your littlies will be off to bed soonish?

Hi Everyone,

I am in the UK so no centers that accessible, MIL will tell WS and has enough on her plate as her mother was admitted to hospital yesterday and she has asked that i assist with the doctors etc she is so distressed. I dont have any other family my mother lives far away and WILL NOT help, she is unaware of my suicide attempts following D day as she would have made situation worse by making it about her somehow, i feel safer is she was not involved. At the moment I am having intense thoughts, planning and fantasising about not being here anymore to escape realty of being left to care for 4 kids under 8 when i cant even look after myself properely, i havent washed in 8 days, i havent eaten in 2 days and have been in tears constantly, I know im not right, i dont feel right, i feel that i need to be somewhere safe and i dont feel safe here right now. cant even watch TV, read a book feel in a daze and only comofrt is the end of it all. I am telling you this not to scare you please dont think I am the kind of person who would make you all worry and then go do it. What i am trying to say is that i need to talk about the way i feel so i dont act on it.

WS is not aware of this as i go underground just before i harm myself, i almost act too normal because the exit option in my brain keeps me comfortable that I have a way out of this. Its very weak way to be i know, i even talk myself round to thinking kids will be better off, no one would notice etc. I havent got to that stage but i am heading into catatonic state and need to get help before it gets that way.

Kids in bed WS still packing up the rest of his things, im in bed writing on here.

jo@samaritans.org

use this email address or call this number right now: 08457 90 90 90

Please got to hospital and tell them of your previous attempts. Do you have friends who can looks after your kids? If the hospital or doctors won't help after knowing you have been down this road before, shame on them is what I say. Take a good shower. Did your counselor give you anyone to call while he/she was gone?

YOur H is there at the mo. He can stay with the kids.

A hospital would take you seriously.

thanks staytogether,
as soon as WS leaves house will conact them, thats when thing will get at the worse point. I would not do anything with kids at home. But then i can easely call friend as her to look after kids for 5 mins while i go to the shop and not come back so i have to find a way to get through tonight for a start and they may be able to talk to me enough to distract me.

I was stable on anti depressants when councellor went on leave so not given me any emergency plans, there is a womens service house that i tryed to contact last year around D Day but they practically laughed at me as to them me feeling suicidal due to WS having A was ridiculous, I took my car and bought hose pipe and attempted suicide the next day.

BH, no one on this forum is equipped to help you deal with suicidial thoughts or actions.

Please click on this link and call the number in the UK;

LINK

Ok thanks tst and I agree with you on that point but have no where else to turn, I will call the number above as soon as WS is out of the house. I will promise you all that I will try my hardest to stay safe. Thank you all for the concern.

Please tell your MIL about this. It would kill her to have something happen to you, and her not know about it or not be able to do anything. Don't do that to her.

Dear BH

I HAVE E-MAILED YOU PLEASE E MAIL ME BACK. YOU HAVE PEOPLE WHO LOVE AND CARE ABOUT YOU ON THIS SITE. I AM ONE OF THEM. YOU HAVE MEANT THE WORLD TO ME IN MY TIME OF NEED AND DISTRESS. PLEASE LISTEN, AND GET SOME HELP TONIGHT. PLEASE CALL YOUR FRIENDS, PLEASE CALL YOUR MIL, PLEASE CALL ME. IN MY E MAIL I HAVE GIVEN YOU MY NAME AND NUMBER. PLEASE KNOW THAT YOU MATTER IN THIS WORLD, YOU HAVE A PLACE IN THE LIVES OF YOUR CHILDREN, AND YOU HAVE A PLACE IN THE LIVES OF YOUR FRIENDS.

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE REACH OUT AND KEEP REACHING WE ARE REACHING FOR YOU IN EVERY WAY WE CAN.

PLEASE SEEK A SAFE PLACE, KNOW THAT I AM WITH YOU IN MY HEART AND SPIRIT, YOU ARE NOT ALONE

BB I am safe got throught the night please dont panic I am helping myself because if i was too far gone i wouldnt have told you guys about the thoughts as wouldnt put you through that. I got through the nights its 5:30 am and im on my way to work so will be areound people. I am trying to stay safe please beleive me when i say that I never told anyone the last 2 times i planned to hurt myself me telling you guys is a way to help me keep safe. Please dont worry BB i got the samaritains number and I have a busy distracting day ahead.

Good. Hope you have a good day.

Dear BH

So, so glad to see you this morning. So glad you you made it through the night. I was so worried, concerned about you. Check in through out the day if you feel like it. Use that number and use my number, also we can skype, I'm on there just look for me. i gave you my real name. look for me on facebook or e-mail, or let's talk here.

if you want to talk, vent I'm here....well I guess we're all here, right fellow MB'ers?