Chai, I am so sorry!
Has your lawyer done everything he can to fight this? It sounds like the judge changed his mind. What could have happened?
Even more sorry about the DD and Chai Baby. That should be where your focus is now. ((((((((Chai))))))))

Chai,

WTF?
I am sitting here stunned that the judge has done this.

I can't believe that there isn't SOMETHING that can be done. Is there anything else in the settlement that would be to YOUR advantage to roll back to the 2007 value?

I am so sorry to hear this, and on top of the news of DD. I'm so sorry sweetie!

Hang in there!!

Chai,

I'm so very sorry. I like everyone else is just absolutely stunned. I think Bugs might have a good suggestion. Can you use this to YOUR advantage.

What can we do to help.

WE LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!

Well, shoot. I am dumbfounded by all of this. I have no idea what to add or say, except that I am thinking of you and you, and baby chai, and DD will be in my prayers. If I had a [censored]-ton of money, I would send some your way. Oy! Love you, Chai. Please do whatever you can to keep a positive outlook. I know that is asking a lot right now. Today's occurences do NOT dictate your future. Hang in there.

What was the value of WH's 401K in 2007? Doesn't this even out?

Chai, count me in the shocked crowd. You'd think you could count on a Judge make wise decisions, but evidently not. I agree with the others, you WILL survive this and be there for someone else who's walking your path in the future.

It will be okay. EVERYTHING has a way of working itself out in the end. This will too.

We're here for you.

As someone once told me... as far as your daughter is concerned... make your circle smaller for now. Some things are just out of your control.

(((Chai)))

All,

Thank you so much for your words of support.

After I got the email from my atty, I had a major meltdown and had to leave the store and go home. The only thing worse than dday is finding out that not only are they going to leave you for someone else, but oh, by the way, they are taking all of the money and everything else you own with them too. Man, what a bad day.

As I lie at home crying uncontrollably, my atty called. He went to the judge for further clarification because he said it didn't add up.

Evidently, this was WH's atty's "interpretation" of the whole thing. The judge said that yes, 2007 was the separation date but we had to factor in the market conditions etc. The bottom line is that I still owe only the $26K, and he gets the debt as of 2007 which was $21K (it's a little lower now). Judge also said that I get credit for any payments that I have made on the credit card. That was not mentioned in the decision.

So, I feel much better. WH's atty was the one appointed to do the decree, so I guess he feels like he can "interpret" this any way that he wants. I think the guy is just billing hours.

I haven't gotten word on DD's drug test yet, so still don't know where that will lead.

I am just totally drained at this point. I feel like I could just lie down and sleep for about 6 months. The last 3 years have sucked the life right out of me.

I'll be better tomorrow. Knowing that you are all supporting me means more than you know. I love you all....

MUCH better!

You're on ADs, right?

for your attorney -- GOOD JOB on following up with the Judge for clarification!

I say once the final decree comes down you throw yourself a "FREEDOM" party and invite MB to help you celebrate the joyous occasion.

If not, you need to be.

They do help.

We love you

I think you atty was a worthwhile choice after all.

I'm so relieved for you.

G-d does answer prayers...

Yes, he has come through for me. He was awesome in court too. He knew what he was doing all along, but he just wasn't good at assuring me of that throughout the process.

Can't remember who asked, but the reason I was so upset is because in 2007, my 401K was worth over twice what it is now. I had riskier investments than WH, so I lost way more. As a matter of fact, his is worth more now because his was invested mainly in a money market. So mine lost over half while his gained some. So half of his at a lower value vs half of mine at a much higher value would have almost wiped me out totally. In addition, all of his other assets (pension, life ins cash value) were all lower back then too. We would have been taking all of his stuff at its lowest, and my one thing at its highest.

I won't be at ease until this is signed and closed. As I have learned, anything can happen at anytime. I'll be holding my breath over the next few weeks until it is all over.

Boy oh boy, Chai I am so glad things moneywise werent as bad as you thought...what I missed by not checkin in today....I am so sorry about your daughter, I dont know what else to say about that but that you, DD and Chaibaby are definitely in my prayers tonight...

and yes, yes, yes AD's can help a lot getting you through this tough patch...and remember it is only a patch, really I can only think it can go up for you from here...

(((((Chai)))) We all love you here, hang in there, K?

I pray that event occurs soon, Chai. You need a break, a clean break from this. You need silence and time to rebuild. You are okay, Chai. I'm glad your attourney came thru for you.

Oh I'm so relieved, Chai. How horrible that the ups and downs continue like this. We are all here rooting for you.

Said a prayer for DD and chai baby last night. Hope you're doing better today.

I have long believed that God answers every prayer. And that the answers are usually one of four:

• Yes
• Yes, but first you have to do something
• No, not yet
• No, I love you too much for that

I absolutely agree Fred and that took me a VERY LONG time to understand and accept. But I have and I know to just be still.....Turn to G-d, ask for help and let him take me there.... whereever there is.

Sorry for the rollercoaster ride, CL.

Do the best you can to look at the 'big picture' and KNOW that...
this, too, shall pass.

CL