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As always, thank you for your comments and observations. SDC_man, if I read your signature line correctly, your xWW and her POSOM actually married and "disappeared?" If that's the case, then one of the end results I see in my case occurred. This is how I have chosen to categorize the possible results: - The WW and OM break up. She gets what she deserves.
- The WW and OM stay together. He gets what he deserves.
Yes, unfortunately, I see three or more characteristics in WW from your list. And that is why I have found Zelmo's comments so hard to take, yet so necessary to read. And perhaps that is why I don't find Plan B so difficult to enact. If the A ends and if she decides she wants back into the marriage, I will give her the opportunity to change according to the MB way -- I am willing to, after all -- but her agreement to do so must be total and complete. In a few hours I will be saying good-bye to her. It may be a permanent farewell.
Preach the Gospel every day. When necessary, use words.
St. Francis of Assissi
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SDCW has made a very good list. Looks like he is familiar with the personality disorders.
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UPDATE:
She is here now. Outside smoking (she quit smoking before our M, and has now just started -- what does that tell you?) to decompress. She does not like that I have a third party here. She has not yet read the Plan B letter. I am resolute, but very tense. She is attacking, twisting, insinuating, holier-than-thou, etc. I'm trying to be neutral, but slipping at times.
This is going to be a long day. Pray for me. Pray for us.
Preach the Gospel every day. When necessary, use words.
St. Francis of Assissi
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She doesn't like you have someone here, because most likely, she was planning on accusing you of something...
You are doing good.
One year becomes two, two years becomes five, five becomes ten and before you know it, you've wasted your whole life on a problem you can't solve. That's one way to spend your life. -rwinger
I will not spend my life this way.
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I just gave her Plan B letter. She's reading it another room now.
NOT NEGOTIABLE.
Preach the Gospel every day. When necessary, use words.
St. Francis of Assissi
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Stick very close to this friend of yours!
One year becomes two, two years becomes five, five becomes ten and before you know it, you've wasted your whole life on a problem you can't solve. That's one way to spend your life. -rwinger
I will not spend my life this way.
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She asked me if she could continue receiving her mail here. I said no.
She asked if I would put gas in her car. I said no.
She's currently on the phone. With OM? Probably...
Preach the Gospel every day. When necessary, use words.
St. Francis of Assissi
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Probably. What is she saying? I'll try and help you if you can hear anything she is saying.
One year becomes two, two years becomes five, five becomes ten and before you know it, you've wasted your whole life on a problem you can't solve. That's one way to spend your life. -rwinger
I will not spend my life this way.
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She is outside, on the phone, smoking (third cigarette in less than an hour). I can't hear. I went out to bring in the mail, and she lowered her voice...
Preach the Gospel every day. When necessary, use words.
St. Francis of Assissi
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Well, she is sure stressed out, isn't she?
Just remain calm. Stick close to your friend, just in case.
One year becomes two, two years becomes five, five becomes ten and before you know it, you've wasted your whole life on a problem you can't solve. That's one way to spend your life. -rwinger
I will not spend my life this way.
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You're doing great!
CALM CALM CALM!
Just keep thinking about taking a long hot bath tonight and decompressing.
And I agree, make sure you are never out of your friend's earshot!
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I have allowed her to move her things from our bedroom to another room in the house privately. I will review what she takes with her.
Preach the Gospel every day. When necessary, use words.
St. Francis of Assissi
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And I hope your friend's on you like ugly on an ape. (Festus peeking out there...)
You might think we're being paranoid, but PSUBIKER's thread has me worried your WW might do to you what his did to him.
One year becomes two, two years becomes five, five becomes ten and before you know it, you've wasted your whole life on a problem you can't solve. That's one way to spend your life. -rwinger
I will not spend my life this way.
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You're doing great!
CALM CALM CALM!
Just keep thinking about taking a long hot bath tonight and decompressing.
And I agree, make sure you are never out of your friend's earshot! I don't think I'll take a hot bath. But I will go to my regular meeting and take a few deep breaths of relief. She's smoking again!!! My God, she was a health nut when we were together. I've never seen her smoke!
Preach the Gospel every day. When necessary, use words.
St. Francis of Assissi
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She read the Plan B letter and said, "OMG, you've made it all about (OM)." I replied, "No, I made it all about myself."
(She's very much into "healthy boundaries." I told her I have created my healthy boundaries. She can't argue with that.
Last edited by Fred_in_VA; 11/30/09 02:16 PM. Reason: Added boundaries comment
Preach the Gospel every day. When necessary, use words.
St. Francis of Assissi
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Haha, you rendered her silent, then?
One year becomes two, two years becomes five, five becomes ten and before you know it, you've wasted your whole life on a problem you can't solve. That's one way to spend your life. -rwinger
I will not spend my life this way.
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I just cleared the garage door code from my (her) car and took back the garage door opener.
The car stinks of cigarette smoke.
(I too, was a smoker. Quit 16+ years ago. The smell now repulses me).
Preach the Gospel every day. When necessary, use words.
St. Francis of Assissi
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It's very tough not telling her the things I've learned over the past few weeks. I even lied and told her my sponsor suggested having a third person here (well, maybe you folks have become my "marriage/affair sponsors"). Maybe I should let him off the hook and say my attorney suggested it?
I'll probably not say anything. If she doesn't bring it up again, why should I?
Preach the Gospel every day. When necessary, use words.
St. Francis of Assissi
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The smell repulses me, too, but unfortunately I live with smokers and must bear it.:(
One year becomes two, two years becomes five, five becomes ten and before you know it, you've wasted your whole life on a problem you can't solve. That's one way to spend your life. -rwinger
I will not spend my life this way.
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It's amazing. The lack of packing and moving. She's dithering here and there, taking smoke breaks and doing anything rather than move. She hasn't taken a single article to the car. And she's been her nearly two hours...
Preach the Gospel every day. When necessary, use words.
St. Francis of Assissi
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