I know EXACTLY what you mean cate, my H did the same, only the night before.

WTHN, do the research and the snooping for now, I wouldn't bring up doing a polygraph .... just yet.

Right now, let him know that you want to heal.
Say things like 'I want this M to be better, and I know that you want this too ... right?'
or 'I want to heal, I want us to heal, you want that too ... right?' or 'I want to feel safe, you want that too ....'
dahdahdah, get the picture. He will likely answer yes to your words.

Okay so where am I going with this you're prolly thinkin'.
If I had to do this poly thing over again, I would have primed my WH up a bit by having him
acknowledge to me that he wanted to restore our M over and over.

So, after the priming, and you bring up the poly, it will be difficult for WH to refuse, since he
has acknowledged that he wants you to feel safe and wants a better M.

Get where I'm goin' with this ???

Post here about the poly before you bring it up with H.

That is AWESOME advice!

It sucks that the BS has to do this mind gaming, but it's to keep subtltey and to allow the best possible chances because once your lied to and they know you know...your truths are only poison to the WS.