new here but i have a question about the way i am feeling about my w affair i am so filled anger that i want to really harm the other person is this normal. because this is not the type of person that i am under normal condidtions

This is the email I sent to my attorney:My attorney has a copy of the Plan B Letter, so she knows its provisions.

Your anger is quite understandable. However, please understand that it is the AFFAIR that you should be angry about. While the OM might be a POS, he didn't do it alone.

You might want to start your own post/thread so that people can respond to you directly.

Fred, I believe a simple "suck eggs" or "go sh-t in your hat" would do the job as a response.

To my WW or to my lawyer?

"Diplomacy is the art of telling someone to go to Hell in such a way that they look forward to making the trip."

My attorney just replied to me, saying that she was obligated to respond to WW in some way, "even if that response is simply that you have received her messages and wish not to reply at this time."

She then went on making some recommendations in order to "deescalate the tension between the parties and to deny her allegations of wrongdoing."

I told her that if she was obligated to respond, that she should give WW my message.

Your WW. Your lawyer will charge you for reading it(and, most lawyers are already sucking enough eggs.)

I paid my attorney a retainer. She's just drawing down on the funds. (Did I miss the first part of your message? "Your WW???"

IMO, nothing makes a wayward - or any other bully - more mad than laughing at them.

I know I'm late to this party but LMAO, that is fantastic!
I wish I had that one on October 30th (exposure of WW).
I can hear it now.
WW: "You have to stop telling people I'm having an affair"
BH: "Oh, but whatever for honey, I'm just spreading the good news!"

(still laughing)

Opt

My WW had the temerity today to ask/demand (through my lawyer) that I write letters of apology recanting my exposure to the OMW, OM and his landlady.

I guess you know what my answer was.

Did it have something to do with: "where the sun don't shine"

I'm too civil for that. At least with my attorney (I'm Indigo Dark in Plan B right now). I instructed my attorney to say nothing, but if she felt obligated to respond (remember, this is WW's attempt to break NC) to read her a prepared message from me, stating that my attorney was not a go-between message carrier. My attorney was only to be contacted when my WW wanted to fetch the rest of her belongings. Otherwise, the means to contact me were in the (Plan B) letter I had given her.

My WW was making some very interesting requests. "No" was the only response I could formulate -- if I were going to give any response at all.

I was joking

I know. I guess I'm not in a joking mood.

Fred,
Hang in there my friend. We're all pulling for you. You're an inspiration to me, FWIW. I know it must be hard NOT having anything to do really - you've had such a whirlwind of activity for the past couple of weeks, now it's kindof a slow down period (am I right?)
good luck.
opt

"We will see how our experience can benefit others." -- A.A. "Big Book, pg 84.

Thanks, Opt. Yes, things have slowed down as the agreed-upon date for my WW to move out has come and gone, and she has now officially "vacated the premises." It's laughable how little she actually took, but not surprising considering how she made no attempt for five weeks to find a place to live and actually move things.

I imagine she's now livid with anger because I won't grant her access to the house so that she can come by and retrieve odds and ends. Yesterday, my attorney called to tell me WW had contacted her with a list of items WW wanted: pajamas, slips, a pair of red shoes, and some computer cables and connectors. I instructed my attorney simply to not respond, but if she felt obligated to do so, to simply tell my WW that my conditions for contacting me were spelled out in my (Plan B) letter to her, and that my attorney was not a messaging service.

The veterans here have informed me that not only is Plan B designed to make the WS aware of the void now in their life, but also to help the BS grow accustomed to the WS's absence.

The times for introspection still cause me to ride the see-saw. There are times I find myself OK without her, and other times I'm sadly missing her. Some of the pros here think that I should not expect the M to R, and sadly, I think they may be correct.

So I read, absorb, and at times add a comment or two, hoping that my experience can benefit others.

That is a great one. This needs to go in the wayward fogbabble hall of shame!

Also, Fred, one way to make sure the WS gets her stuff is to pack it up and leave it in the driveway for her. Usually when they ask to get stuff, it is because they want access to the house. Offering to box it up for them and leave it outside precludes that while giving her her belongings.

But why should I give her her stuff? My Plan B letter indicated that she'd had five weeks to remove it. Now she wants a few "creature comforts" and I'm supposed to give them to her (WW offered to pick them up at my lawyer's office)?

Relenting now and giving her the things she's requested seems to be a cave-in on my part. But I'm also sitting on the LB fence: Is holding my position a LB, or is it a healthy boundary?

Fred, I would make sure you give her all of her stuff. There is no reason not to other than punishing her. Plan B is not about punishment. It is not a boundary at all because giving her her possessions does not harm you in any way.