that's completely ridiculous that you have to give money from your 401k to a lying cheating adulterer.

that ticks me off just thinking about it.

it is a big deal. it's not just about the money either, it's a matter of principle.

I am amazed about the dollars and sense (and I do mean SENSE) involved in your judgement.

You must be an AMAZING, DESERVING, WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, LOVING, GIVING, INSPIRING, COURAGEOUS, HONEST, SENSITIVE, SPECTACULAR, EFFICIENT, GLORIOUS WOMAN Chai, that the judge felt that much pity on your POS WH that he felt COMPELLED to give him another $15K.

The judge knows you will not only survive, but thrive and prosper. And WH will be so deep in the murk of the gutter that the $15k MAY keep food on his table for a little bit longer before he shares crumbs with the rodents.

You will get a GREAT job. You will earn back the $15k TENFOLD. And we will all be here applauding you, supporting you, encouraging you because we like you -- we really like you.

You have so many people praying God to bless you, guide you, strenghthen you, love you and bless you. You will be fine, you really will. WH will not, he really will not.

This is absolutely perfect and so TRUE.... Remember the song, You'll See

I hope you write that judge a letter about what your POSexH REALLY did to you, and tell him that you hope he considers REAL consequences the next time he tears a family apart like this.

Well Cate, it ticks me off too but I have no choice in the matter. I sure hope that this is the end of it.

Holy, thank you for the kind words. You are so sweet. We all know that the money will probably go to OP, but I don't expect a thank-you from her.

Queenie, I have not listened to that song yet. I need to remind myself of it tonight.

And Cat, I would love to write a letter but I would be afraid he would give more money to WH!!! He is already walking away with more than I am now. I don't want it to get too much worse.

I dunno. Maybe someday I will look at it as a fee to OW for taking him off my hands.

Hugs and prayers, Chai.....We do love you here and you deserve so much more than you have been dealt lately....I think POSex will dwindle away that 15k and will have nothing and you have a bright future ahead of you, dont let this set you back, k? Just move forward and try your hardest to put that crap in your past....

One day at a time, thats all we can do right now...

Ooh! I know a book you need to read. It's called Angela's Ashes. Best seller about Frank McCourt's incredibly poor upbringing, and how he not only survived being destitute, but went on to prosper. After reading that, NOBODY's situation seems that bad.

Thanks Still. I am going to work hard to let go of the bitterness. I got thrown under the bus, but hopefully I can recover from it. I try to remember that at least for now, I have my health which is worth way more than the money. I am thankful for that.

Cat, I did read that book and I saw the movie too. I just hope I don't end up like the mom in that book!!!

Once again, I think this judge is in cahoots with the one who screwed Pariah over...

You know, I don't think the guy liked me much.

Chai, you will get through this.
As you said, it's not your entire life savings.
Very soon, you'll have a new lease on life.
((Chai))

You know, Ima, I've decided to mourn until Christmas which is my 3 year Dday.

Then, poof! I'm letting it go.

I am leaving town the week after to visit a friend in WV, then going on to NC to spend New Years with Smartypants, then going to DC to spend a few days with another friend. It will be my "coming-out-getting-over-it-I-don't give-a-sheet-anymore" week. Yes, 2010 will be a new year and in my mind WH will be dead.

Attitude adjustment is definitely on the way....

AMEN!

You go, girl!

Spoke like the True Goddess You are!!

Love the plan!

Love you!

Remember, chin up, chest out!

Hey, I live in MD, just north of DC, and would love to meet you Chai. If you have an opening in your schedule, lets get together. Lemme know...

It's good to grieve and let go. I can't say that the POOF thing will happen for you, in terms of immediately feeling better about it all, but choosing to let go is a very empowering thing, and is the beginning of the whole process. It's a positive way to look at it.

I have to say, though, I had a mini meltdown this past Saturday, and POOF, I decided to let go, let God and have patience, and it worked...these are trying times, for sure. Love you, Chai. Take care of you.

SL,

Would love to meet you. I'll buy you a Mocha at Starbucks!!
Do you have an email? I'll let you know my travel schedule and we can hook up.

I am realistic enough to know that it isn't going to be a POOF thing, but I sure as h3ll am going to try to best to get as close to that as possible. I do reserve the right to have a few mini-meltdowns in the future though. I a sick kind of way, I enjoy them now and again. It's good sometimes to feel sorry for yourself, ya know?

Bugs, at my age I have to reverse the "chest out, chin up" thing. I need the chest up now, and the chin out. Maybe those new VS bras will be the ticket? I don't have any money left for a breast lift or any other lift for that matter. I need a spirit lift, but I'm looking for my "coming out" week to do that.

Love you all!!

Okay, I'm gonna say it. The "E" word.

Chai, you are perfectly ENTITLED to have a few melt downs. You have been through SOOOO SOOOO much and I believe that 2010 WILL be your year for restitution, enormous blessings (financial and otherwise) and COMPLETE recovery.

You should write a book-- at the least, you would be a HUGE asset to a counseling service or something for those who are beginning their journey.

If we're not there with you in person, we are most definitely there with you in spirit.

We want pictures and good reports from your vacation.

P.S.

Nipples to the wind !

(it's a play in Texas, you can look it up)

Oh my, that makes me think of Thelma and Louise. Maybe I should rent a convertible for my cross country trip.

Reminds me of a story from a friend. He used to be a bank teller and said that he saw some pretty crazy stuff while waiting on customers in the drive-through. One lady came through with no top on (no bra either). I asked him what he did and he said "I just asked her if she had two nipples for a dime."