I think your best bet , reconciling or moving on, is to ignore your cheating wife. You need to see a lawyer.
Your wife loves the attention and drama.

Plan B and still talking to WW?

Do not send that...IMO you'd sound like a total weenie. Nothing is OK about her adultery.

Thank you all for the quick replies. I was getting anxious to send it. You all are a Godsend.

Her sister wants to speak with me again when they arrive. They are ALL praying that I do Christmas together for the childrens sake. How can I look across the table at my in-laws knowing that my W is looking to replace me. My in-laws will be gone as well although not entirely because of the children. Wow it's tough dealing with the children.

My advice (it's free, so that's what it's worth): Stop worrying about the relatives. Are you more concerned with pleasing them, or in saving your marriage?

/advice

If they tell you that, simply say "Why don't you pray for your sister to quit having affairs? That is more fair."

Seriously, STOP interacting while you are in Plan B! Do you want this to work or not?

Tell SIL that WW has moved onto OM2.

Then continue plan B with WW.

first contact today. I had to pick up the kids. They were not ready, not yet dressed. I left and texted my W to please let me know when the kids were ready. This is the first time I did this so she responded with "why are you being an [censored]." LOL. I will say. This Plan B is hard on the kids. They sense something is up. Very painful to me. I am going to tell the SIL about OM#2 when she arrives in town and let her know I can't do Christmas as a family because it would be too painful "playing" family while she is out looking finding my replacement. Her sister and mom will be very disappointed in her and completely understand where I am coming from.

Good, I doubt that secrecy is necessary at this stage. Plan B it is. Have you an intermediary?

My son had a breakdown last night. Cried horribly for 20 minuts that we wren't spending Christmas together. This PlanB I think is esy for the wife part because honeslty I really don't have much love left for her. But regarding the children. That pains me more than anything in the world. Yes I know this is ultimately my wifes decision to divorce but having my children be in utter deep dark sadness is a pain I can not bare. THis transition is new to them and I truly wonder how this abrupt cuttoff will affect them during Christmas time. I will tell the SIL about OM#2 and she would underztand me not wanting to "play" family but my God the pain of my children is unbearable. My W is in one of those stubborn as hell selfish modes and is shutting her feelings towards the pain the children are feeling. I can't fight that. She wants to move on to a new BF and now that she has one it will probably take 2 years to cycle through that one. I have no problem Plan B'ing her because I need to move on but my children during Christmas at such a sensitive period is almost too much pain for me to bear. I tild my 13yr D Imom had a boyfriend but she closed her ears and said daddy please I don't want to know it hurts too much. I'm pretty convinced right now that Plan B would be a looooong painful option for the children. I want to allow them to have Christmas with their cousins and they want there mom to be involved too. Honestly, please someone tell me at what point plan B doesn't make sense anymore, especially during this period.

Oh, Florida. I've not done Plan B, but I have great sympathy for you and your kids. Holidays are a time of tradition, and they know that tradition isn't going to happen. Maybe you can do some different, fun things to help begin some new traditions? They are watching you, to see how you transition this year.

I'm in the same boat FP. It's going to be tuff on the kids but I agree that you can't pretend to be a family when you're not. I have got word to my WW that if she wants to see the kids on Christmas Day (my turn this year) I can make arrangements to have them see her but not me (she actually wanted to go shopping together and share Christmas together). It's the pain I see my kids go through that promted me to offer her to see the kids. Hope this might help you. Hang in there.

Looking for serenity - Is you WW still seeing someone? Her affair partner or a new BF?

She's working on OM#3. best i can tell they've been together since Holloween maybe longer.

I see you told DD13 about OM but what of the other children and what have you told them about why you are in Plan B (in terms they can understand)? Christmas will be hard FLpad but the reality is that should you D this is how life, even the holidays, will be. I'm so sorry for your children's pain, BTDT like so many others, but you need to stay focused. As hard as it is, stay upbeat and do something special with the children. If tears fall, wipe them, give hugs/kiss and reassurance, and focus on something to get you and the children through.

II wrote an e-mail to my SIL telling her I felt there was another male "interest" in hmy W's life and explained why I can't do Christmas. I told my SIL that I still loved my W and hoped for a reconciliation down the road but now that there is somone new I must protect myself. She forwarded it to my W. I saw my W send the e-mail to her friend and my W added the following:

"My sister thinks he is not correct. It's ironic because he is right even though my new "male interest" is really nothing....if anything it made me realize that if this is happening with a NEW interest, it would DEFINATELY happen with (my name). I am just not ready. BUT I don't think there is much else I can do at this point....."

Her freind responded that she should be alone.

I'm going plan B and not reading her e-mails anymore. I'm curious what you all think is going through this womans head./

Plan B is not thinking about what's in WW head. (fluff and worms)

"Christmas will be hard FLpad but the reality is that should you D this is how life, even the holidays, will be."

Plan A is not easy. Plan B is not easy.

Now that you are in plan B and if you have custody the kids go where you go.

Now if the WW family wants the GP to see the kids and the cousins to see each other then tell them they have to uninvite the WW.

The way you had to choose they will have to choose.

I have a question for everyone. When do you come off of plan b? If my W is not talking to OM#2 anymore do you go back on plan A. What is the trigerring event. That she says she wants to work things out or that is is no longer in contact with OM#2.
My W told the SIL she is not intereseted in the om#2 because she doesn't have strength and he is just not her type. I checked the phone thing again (yeah I know that defeats the purpose of plan B)and I noticed fewer conversations with the OM#2.

Just curious what should dictate coming off plan B. Is that a personal thing. In my situation my wife has made it fairly eveident that she is not ready for anything having to do with rebuilding the marriage with me and she has told her friend she is not ready. Her SIL says she is looking into seeing a pshychiatrist, but I think she is still seeing the path to her getting over her affair partner by finding someone new. What is the factor to go from plan b to plan A?

What was in the Plan B letter?

Oh yeah, that's a GREAT reason to take her back.

There is no such thing as going back to Plan A. Plan A is you trying to sweep her off her feet. Why would you backstep to do that all over again?

And what happened to OM#3?