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{{{{{Alloveragain}}}}
I know you are hurting deeply now.
You are not alone.
I am praying for you.
This too WILL pass.
{{{{AOA}}}}}
Husband was unfaithful to me before and after our marriage, at least 7 times. I found out 13 yrs into the marriage. Trickle truth for an entire year. Several different d-days, so it was more like a d-year. Difficult recovery.
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I'm so sorry you have to read that. All I can think is to say that she is an addict right now. The woman you married would never have done that.
friends: Hi X, this is allover, OW's husband. I'm sure you know by now that OW has been having an affair. Well, I still want to keep our family together, so I'm calling to ask you if you can think of anything that would make a difference to OW, to get her to see that she is throwing away not only her husband, but her kids, too. I know she wouldn't really want that, if she wasn't been led around by a guy who preys on married women.
Maybe too long. Just don't accuse her of anything, cos her friends will 'have' to defend her.
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cat - please stay in here and talk to me. i cant stop reading the chats. they are still going on.
Me - 34
W - 37
C - 7, 7, 3
Married - 9yrs
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For heaven's sake, allover, STOP IT!
There is no longer any reason for you to be reading her chats. You already know her plans. You have enough proof.
STOP IT!
Go do a crossword puzzle or walk the dog or something.
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Me - 34
W - 37
C - 7, 7, 3
Married - 9yrs
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my sons and i have a getaway weekend planed for next month and they r setting up plans for him to come to my house for the weekend and have sex.
videotape evidence?
Me - 34
W - 37
C - 7, 7, 3
Married - 9yrs
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You know what. I think i should let this play out pass xmas. wait for them to get together at my house get the evidence and the divorce attorney can handle the rest.
What u think?
Me - 34
W - 37
C - 7, 7, 3
Married - 9yrs
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ok I'll stop. Sorry. I still want our marriage to work and I see the value in the plans, but at the same time I dont care if we get a divorce either.
Me - 34
W - 37
C - 7, 7, 3
Married - 9yrs
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it will be hard to get a hold of OMW. can I skip that part or mail her a letter? Mailing would make sure she got it and not him, more than likely.
Me - 34
W - 37
C - 7, 7, 3
Married - 9yrs
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Well, since you're reading their chats, does he say when he's going to be away from home this weekend? Call her then.
I know you're hurting, but don't make any decisions right now.
I WILL say that, if you can stop them before they consummate, you will be happier. No matter what your ultimate goal.
btw, you might consider cutting and pasting part of their exchange and sending it to your key exposure targets.
Last edited by catperson; 12/11/09 11:39 PM.
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your key exposure targets. whats that?
you're right, I ont want to have this man in my house even to get the evdnc. I think that would kill it for me and create a place of memories for if we stay together.
hes not gne this weekend but after xmas he has to work and i assume she doesntmay be after xmas is sounding like a good time to spring the trap. You think?
Me - 34
W - 37
C - 7, 7, 3
Married - 9yrs
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I also have the entire chat saved in sequence in notepad on my thumb drive that I will keep on me always.
Me - 34
W - 37
C - 7, 7, 3
Married - 9yrs
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I meant did he mention going to Home Depot or something?
Your key exposure targets would be, say, his wife and WW's mother. The people who would be really shocked to see her talking like a hooker and him like a john, and would ream them both a new one for doing so.
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wow! thats, wow! After exposure right? kind of a shock and aww
Me - 34
W - 37
C - 7, 7, 3
Married - 9yrs
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I hate to say it but I love this eblaster. they look so dumb talking the way they are like no one is going to find out.
They even said that they wished OMW and me would cheat on them (not together) so it would make the divorce easier. My WW wife said "yeah but my BH would never do that to me". And she is 100% correct.
Me - 34
W - 37
C - 7, 7, 3
Married - 9yrs
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wow! thats, wow! After exposure right? kind of a shock and aww Here's what I would do, although I'm not an infidelity expert. I would have part of the conversation copied and pasted, sitting in a blank email, on my computer, waiting. Then, when I call to make my exposure, and if I get any crap from anyone "Oh, my daughter would never do that; you two are just fighting" or "I don't know who you think you are, but I KNOW my husband and he is NOT cheating on me!" - stuff like that - then I would say "I have proof; I can email it to you right now, if you want to see for yourself. What's your email address?"
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I see. that does sound like a good plan. thank you! What about waiting until after xmas. not just because its xmas but because of OM and OMW?
Me - 34
W - 37
C - 7, 7, 3
Married - 9yrs
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Exposure is totally up to you. Whatever you're comfortable with. If you can handle them doing this another two weeks, more power to you. If not, do it sooner. Just know that, the longer they continue their affair, the harder it is to stop it.
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I would act before they consummate the affair if I were you. If you wait you may find it much harder for both of you to get over this whole mess. You've already been given great advice as to how, just read the last 2-3 pages of this thread.
Also, I wouldn't wait to expose to OMW either, since she's been hard to reach. Start with those you can reach quickly and easily, like WW's mother and friends. Meanwhile, keep trying to reach OMW and expose to her when you can.
Remember, expose to as many as you can all at once. Also, after you've exposed to ww's mother and friends, take the muzzle off your sister, give her permission to give WW a piece of her mind-I'll bet she's been dying to do that!
The Macnut-42, W - 45 3 stepkids,
SDD - 27, SDS1 - 22, SDS2 - 18
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Thanks cat and mac! I do want to expose asap. They have already consummated the affair. Many times it seems. But not in my house!
I want to expose immediately to WW mom because WW values her mommy the most, as we all should, but the cord has never been cut between them.
I just tried to make some plans with WW about setting up a routine with working out in the basement on our equipment. She had mentioned it before but only for her. So I brought up the whole family going down. the kids can play and we can workout. Needless to say she didn't what i did or do.
I think its time! I've had it! It's time to get my wife back! I will tell her mom on sunday after I get off work. And I will keep trying to get OMW.
THanks guys for the advice! Let the battles begin!
Me - 34
W - 37
C - 7, 7, 3
Married - 9yrs
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hello
by Woodham - 09/22/25 03:47 PM
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