I suspect you do know.
You're truth resistant at the moment.
You're hoping for "what if" instead of dealing with what is.

IS there anything that I can do to try and save the marriage?

Yes. Tell him to stay married, he will have to take a polygraph.

Ok so I need to know how to move to plan D and get rid of this loser. He will never change and I am tired of it. First thing is my D12 will be at her dad's on the 22nd and so I need to take this time and take advantage of it.

I also want to know if I should ultimately put it to him. I have the opportunity to really screw him. When I leave he will for sure lose his job and then his kids will not get thier money. I know everyone says not my problem but I have to admit I do care for those kids. So I have to get an apartment and a divorce lawyer but I guess what I am struggling with his really giving it to this a**hole.I know it's not the Christian thing to do but I sure am fighting it.

My family wants me to just uproot my daughter and quit my job and get a minimum wage job, but I really want to do this and try to keep my job. I have the opportunity when I take my D to the airport not going back to pick him up and go completely dark and then run and never look back.

Call an attorney.

I'm trying to not have my daughter around this sickness and I am barely holding on to not doing some physical harm to him. I am so mad at this whole thing that I want to due some bodily harm.

Pepperband is right. Call an attorney.

It's really not that hard to do. I went online and searched for "family lawyers" within 5-10 miles of me. I went to the web sites and finally picked up the phone. The first consultation was FREE.

The woman I spoke with seemed knowledgeable and experienced. I set up a consultation, understanding that all I would be required to pay was a one-time fee.

After the consultation I decided to retain this woman as my attorney. Fortunately, I have the funds to do so. I paid $2K and am now "drawing down" on my account (over half still remains).

On the advice of the MB veterans, I changed my attorney from being my intermediary (IM) to someone else. Now, all she does is wait for our separation period to end and for me to decide if I want to go to Plan D.

It's a bad idea to plan and carry out your getaway while feeling such uncontrollable anger.

Behave as the person you want to be.

I know and you are right. It is just alot of anger to deal with and no one to blame but him.

He is a cancer and I want to just cut the cancer out of my life but he is a very controlling person and it will not be an easy road, but I guess life never is.

I have been doing things to keep my anger in check hitting the gym, reading and reading and more reading.

I have sent some texts to the whores and I am struggling with wanting to keep doing it and I know I shouldn't and I have stopped. I never sent any threats but she was saying she was going to go the police. You don't have to tell me I know not to do that anymore.

I guess I just need to vent, vent.

Also is it normal for me to care about my stepkids and them getting thier money?

You have a good job right? Then dont worry about money right now. Why would your husband lose his job if you left him?

Because we have one truck (and it is mine) because he lost his, and his job requires him to have his own vehicle.

I also hate that I have to uproot my daughter out of her awesome school because he is too much of a loser and won't leave the house. In our state the Police told me I can not force him out of his own house.

The biggest thing I am struggling with is to act like everything is ok and that I am going to work on this marriage until I can move out. When I mentioned at all to him about the divorce and moving out he tried to make me feel guilty about his kids, his job.

I told him "not so fast my friend" you should have thought about that before you cheated.

So I am just going along like little Miss Sunshine.

BUY A NEW CAR AND LEAVE THE TRUCK WITH HIM!

Are you sure about that?

Absolutely gut-deep sure?

Because, sorry to be rude but you don't sound like you're behaving much better than him.

Anger is one thing. Venom is another. You need to pull yourself together before YOU are the one losing your kids.

Ok so how do you not spit venom when someone has done the same thing over and over to you and you have tried to change yourself and use the MB principles and handle things maturly just to find out it is all happening again and with a friend of yours.

Yeah you're correct and I shouldn't be so mad that I lose my daughter and that is why I am handling this differently. I just need someone to vent to. I guess I shouldn't do it here and get back to see my IC but this all happened two days ago.

You act like a mature adult who has to deal with an unfathomably horrible situation, and seek results, not retaliation. It's good you're here, because if you follow the MB steps, you can protect your daughter. You don't send texts to 'wh*res.' You don't do more damage than good.

Vent away, but be careful you're not letting your dream revenge get in the way of what your daughter needs you to do. If you spend all your time thinking hatred, instead of logic, that hatred will guide your steps. It's like driving: if you look to the right, your steering wheel will turn to the right. Look forward.

btw, if it's happening more than once, and you have a serial cheater on your hands, use that knowledge to find out what steps didn't go as planned, and why you were drawn to him, so it doesn't happen again.

Understood! I hear you loud and clear. I am trying to figure out those steps and what and why I was drawn to him.

He says that he likes the attention that he gets from other women and that I don't show enough affection to him and he needs constant praise and attention. The last 3 months since I found this place and learned of plan A I had being doing that bigtime but apparently not good enough.

I guess I need to know where I went wrong.

Worry about that after you have divorced him.

Ok I'm doing much better today I don't have the anger so much today. I just don't know if it is worth trying yet again.

I have giving him my list of what I need for him to do to save this marriage and if he doesn't come correct then I will proceed with moving and filing for divorce. In the meantime I will continue to work on myself.

How do I handle the next few days before my D leaves? Do I continue to plan A or just wait the time away?

It never hurts to Plan A. Show him what he'll be losing.