Just for the record, most marriages do not end over adultery. 65% stay together. 95% of affairs crumble within 2 years. The odds are way in your favor.

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil; For you are with me; Your rod and Your staff,
they confort me. Psalm 23:4

I can do everything through Christ who strengthens me.Philippians 4:13

The affair is on the ropes. I hope you stay in contact with the OM's girlfriend and keep her abreast of what the others are telling you. Another huge hit would be to inform the OM's parents that he is carrying on with a married woman in the US. Have you been able to reach them?

Man, I LOVE facebook exposures! This affair is doomed. Another affair that was killed by a facebook exposure [along with other exposures] was Notsure's over on Inrecovery. She and her H are now working hard on putting back together their marriage and the affair is killed.

This is great TTF. I think the A will be ending soon just like mine. Amazing to me how we are mirroring each other's situation. I'm pulling for you man.

If I had to do it over again, I'd plaster my FB page with news of the A. I started to do so, and WW pitched a royal fit. This was before I found MB, so I capitulated and removed my exposing comments. Oh, to be back in time...

Thanks everyone for the words of encouragement.

MelodyLane, I am still waiting for OM�s girlfriend to contact me, I would like to have a little more from her before I approach my wife, although I don�t want to wait to long. What are your thoughts, as far as a time frame?

SoL, Thanks man, I think I mentioned yesterday or the day before that I think we may be married to sisters. I�m praying for you.

gg615, thanks go out to you and Fred as well. I know this would be so much harder without the support that we have here.

What do you have on her so far? Enough to prove her existance to your wife?

p.s. are you out of town on business? When are you going home?

What about something like: "a woman named Sally Jones has contacted me who is very upset about your affair because she claims she is in an exclusive relationship with OM. While I was speaking to her, the OM was frantically texting her saying it was LIE that he had anything to do with you. Maybe you need to contact this woman yourself?"

That will throw her into a tailspin and cause huge conflict in the affair. I would not wait on this because you need to strike while the iron is HOT. Do this before the OM and your WW have a chance to regroup. Cause as much conflict as possible in the affair NOW.

I am at work at the moment, my wife actually knows about this girl. Her name was mentioned in a conversation that I found when I broke into her facebook account. That�s the reason I sent my letter to her first. I hoped that there would be something there and I was right, she was the first person to contact me. I am almost sure that my wife knows that we have spoken by now, but I was waiting on OM�s girlfriend to send me the text messages. If I haven�t heard from her in an hour or two I�ll try to call her again. I get off work at 7:00 and intend on talking with my wife then, with or without the messages. Her first instinct will be to blow it off, or say she doesn�t care, but it will be another doubt planted in her mind.

I just discovered that my wife has also deleted her entire facebook page. I know she must be humiliated about getting busted in public.
Has anyone else ever busted their spouse in this manner? How long did they harbor ill will after it was over?

OM�s girlfriend is supposed to call me in 2 hours. In the event that she doesn�t, should I still approach my wife with what I have?

I would run with what you have even if you haven't heard from her. You have enough NOW to strike a nasty blow to the affair.

When I got home last night my daughter said that we were going to decorate the Christmas tree. She said they had been waiting for me. My wife even put my stocking on the mantle next to hers. I�m not reading too much into this, this is about our daughter, not me. All that�s been on my wife's mind the last few months has been OM. Until a day or two ago she hadn�t even mentioned Christmas. She even has been doing a little house work.
I am more convinced than ever that my facebook exposure of OM was the right thing to do.
Don�t get me wrong, she still hates my guts. She didn�t talk to me or acknowledge that I was even helping them with the tree. But it�s a start.

TTF - I've been away for a few days dealing with some updates on my own issue (I'll update my thread a little later) but have just caught up with your situation. Great job! You have taken a huge step!

Great job! Just a warning, however. They likely didn't delete their facebook accounts. Most likely they just blocked you. This will enable them to contact all these people and try to give their side of the the story. They may even post something on their wall. You could open a fake FB account and try to find them through that.

Thanks, I need some encouragement today. I don�t really know where all this is going, it�s all so confusing.
How is this for crazy? Last night I had a 2 hour text conversation with my wife�s- boyfriend�s-girlfriend. While my wife was in the other room, probably having the exact opposite conversation with her boyfriend, I think I will probably need a strait jacket before this is over.
I have been putting off telling my wife that I�ve been talking with OM�s girlfriend, because I have been working late and she is keeping our daughter extremely close to her now. I don�t want a confrontation in front of her or when she is even anywhere around because I know there will probably be a scene. I also wanted to try to get to know the girlfriend a little better, to find out if she is for real, she is.
All this is weighing extremely heavy on me 4 days before Christmas. We normally go to my parents house on Christmas Eve and then to her parents Christmas morning. How awkward is that going to be?
My dad drew my wife�s name this year; he had already bought her gift before any of this came out�..A Victoria�s Secret gift card!
It�s a wonderful life.

The more awkward the better. I would have this conversation with her TODAY, TTF. Get this all out in the open. Remember, the purpose of exposure is EXPOSURE. It must all come out. She needs to know that every one knows.


If she is having affair conversations in your home, in front of you and your child, it needs to STOP. Interrupt her and ask her to show some respect and take her affair conversation elsewhere. Say this in front of your child.

What about your FIL? Has he spoken to your DD yet? Does your wife know that everyone knows? I am getting concerned that this is a wasted exposure because folks are not talking to your wife. Does she even KNOW?

My mother has had a long tearful conversation with her, and so has her father. Her brother has been into contact with her as well, he told her what everyone else had told her, she is wrong, she is destroying our family and it doesn�t have to be this way. I asked everyone when I told them, to let her know that they loved her and was concerned for her. That�s the way my mother began her conversation �The first thing I want to tell you is I love you�.
I just received another e-mail regarding my facebook letter. Someone else has come forward. This letter is from a man who said his girlfriend has been emotionally involved with this predator for 7 months. I printed it; my wife will be reading it as soon as I get home. This on top of what his other girlfriend has told me surely will be enough to open her eyes.

Wow - this guy really is a POS. You've done a lot of people a favor by exposing him. I can't believe that your WW won't see the truth once the fog has lifted a bit. I think in the end - whenever that may be - she will thank you for taking such aggressive action, and will realize that you did it because you love her.

Stay with it, buddy - God bless

Great news!! TTf, it also ocurred to me that his "exclusive girlfriend" should know about any continued contact between the OM and your W. Can you ensure that happens?

Also, how is your wife communicating with him? Did you already tell me this? Do you have a log of all their communications?