So, he's cheated on you within 3 years of taking the vows.

And he's gotten Herpes in the process.

My advice would be to walk away.

Thanks MiM. I think I would give myself the same advice. I keep hoping the wonderful guy I married will come back...but I haven't seen signs of him in a while.

It makes me very sad. How can our vows be discarded like yesterday's news? I didn't marry the person I currently seem to live with.

His head is in a strange place. I just noticed that he password protected his blackberry. A few days ago I told him I had seen a few of his text messages to Mexico (to a friend of his lover) and that it HAD to stop.

Today he's avoiding being at home at all. He's hanging out with his buddies. Whatever or wherever his brain is...I need to stay sane, healthy and at peace. Some space would be good.

Can you get a bumper sticker for his car? Something along the lines "Herpes Carrier on Board "

Have you exposed to his friends yet?

LOL Zelmo! That was great! Yeah, make sure you stick some extra super glue on the sticker before you put it on, lol!

Hi Catperson,

The nutty thing is that this buddies all know about this. His best buddy even went with him down to Mexico on at least two occasions. The 'buddy' had an affair too - he and his wife and just separated.

There are other friends who aren't as close I could tell. I'm at the point where I feel the need to withdraw from the situation completely because I'm feeling unable to deal with things. I'm not ok with our relationship, it is a shell of it's former self. There are too many disrespectful judgements and stuff and it has worn me down to the point where I don't feel motivated to even discuss things with him.

This is an unhealthy relationship and I feel neglected. I would like a hug maybe once a week!?! I've tried -genuinely- to be a better spouse, more attentive, considerate and supportive (Plan A). Right now I need to withdraw and take some space for myself so I can find some peace and balance. I don't want to feel like crying all the time! I don't want to feel crazy!

I gave my husband a Plan B letter and am staying at my parents. He thanks me for 'ruining Christmas' but at this point I just can't take any more.

Wow, talk about blame shifting and feeling entitled! I realize this is typical WS fogbabble, but it's amazing how they latch onto every opportunity to do and say hurtful things in an attempt to justify their behavior.

Please try to enjoy the company of your parents, who should be two of your most supportive allies. Focus on spending the holidays with them, and do what you can to keep WH out of your mind.

We are here to support you. So if you feel down, or just need to vent -- the "room" is open 24 hours a day...

Thanks Fred - I really appreciate your supportive message.

Are you going to live at your parents' with your son now?