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We have several cases of very heroic betrayed spouses and wayward spouses on the board right now who have stepped up to the plate and taken some very tough, courageous, BRAVE actions. I am sure there are many more, but here are some I am familiar with. I do not read every thread, so please feel free to add others!!

TimeToFly: has done an amazing facebook exposure and found {2} girlfriends of his WW's OM. Has struck a huge death blow to the affair

ShawnsNotFunny: did a nuclear exposure, including exposing to the OM's parents. Shawn said the affair died because the OM's "Dutch parents did not appreciate this one bit!" grin The affair has been KILLED.

Scotland: went into Plan B with a WH who was openly having an affair from her home. He was having his cake and eating it too by telling her he would move out in February. She packed his bags last week and sent him on his merry way with Plan B letter in hand!

Fred: went into Plan B and sent his cakeeating WW packing.

AnneMarie: went into a pitch black Plan B and is doing awesome!

atena: went into a very dark Plan B and moved out

NotSure: this chick has more balls that 10 Texans combined! faint She not only did a FACEBOOK exposure, but CONFRONTED the OW mano to mano and scared her to death. The affair is DEADER THAN A DOORNAIL and now she and her H in recovery and are counseling with Steve Harley. Do not EVAH mess with this chick! grin


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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Mel, thank you for congratulating me by PM, vs public posting. Too much public praise is tough for me.
You are right. Where I get the strength is beyond me.

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Way to go BS's!!!

Imagine this icon bending forward instead faint

I am bowing in awe of your tremedous application of MB!!!


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I will only say on my own behalf, that recovery begins with me. I may never recover my M, but if that's how it turns out, thanks to MB and you folks, I will be OK with it.


Preach the Gospel every day. When necessary, use words.
St. Francis of Assissi
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No problem, Fred. I am here to help.

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shaddup, Zelmo! twoxfour


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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Originally Posted by MelodyLane
shaddup, Zelmo! twoxfour
In all fairness, both of you have been a tremendous help to me. You both present sides of human behavior that I was ignorant about, or did not care to examine: Me.

In the short time I have been a member of the MB community, I feel that I have been enriched. As they say in A.A., you have to listen to everybody, because you never know where the message is going to come from.


Preach the Gospel every day. When necessary, use words.
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Bravo to all those BSs mentioned above (and any others, I also don't get a chance to read all the threads) Special kudos to my sis NotSure, she makes me so proud smile

I just read through TTF's story and I think he is doing such a great job. I would love to see his story linked to the Exposure 101 thread or somewhere so that newbies can see how powerful Facebook exposure can be. Great job TTF!


Ddays 2007 and 2011
Plan B 6/21/11
Divorced July 2012
2 kids
How to Plan B Correctly
Parallel Parenting in Plan B
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Originally Posted by Fred_in_VA
Originally Posted by MelodyLane
shaddup, Zelmo! twoxfour
In all fairness, both of you have been a tremendous help to me. You both present sides of human behavior that I was ignorant about, or did not care to examine: Me.

In the short time I have been a member of the MB community, I feel that I have been enriched. As they say in A.A., you have to listen to everybody, because you never know where the message is going to come from.

Mel often says the same thing to me, Fred. I have seen her come a long way, with guidance.

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blush blush blush

Lol... thanks! I wish I could go back over my old thread so I could see how everything happened, day by day. Unfortunately, as most of you know, it got lost in the infamous crash of 2009.

Everyone here on MB has been such a tremendous help... ML and my sisters most of all... Thank you all!!! hurray

Recovery is a rocky road, but I count myself lucky to be where I am now.


Me, BS, 35 - H, FWS, 38
Married 15 years, 4.5 years into Recovery
EA/PA 7/09-9/09
DDay 9/5/09, started Plan A
Exposed 9/13/09, started preparing for Plan B
H finally confessed and agreed to NC 9/27/09, never went to Plan B
Still a MB rookie, but striving to learn more and put it into practice every day... w/ FWH along for the ride
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Also, bravo to all the other heroes here on MB!!! hurray


Me, BS, 35 - H, FWS, 38
Married 15 years, 4.5 years into Recovery
EA/PA 7/09-9/09
DDay 9/5/09, started Plan A
Exposed 9/13/09, started preparing for Plan B
H finally confessed and agreed to NC 9/27/09, never went to Plan B
Still a MB rookie, but striving to learn more and put it into practice every day... w/ FWH along for the ride
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* applauds !*

Such courage will restore the dignity robbed by an affair. I know this.


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There are a few folk here that have provided great support and encouragement to these present heroes.

Thank you for the Wonderings who have provided legal and spiritual advice, Neak and her mom, Just Learning, Mark, Princessmeggy and especially Melody Lane. There are more that I would like to name more but my memory cell is on holiday. There are many more that pop in occasionally to ensure that the advice is consistently good.

It is very encouraging to see folk like Barnboy, BTinBL and Indarkness wise up so quickly. Thank you for paying attention to those that have walked in your place!


But I, being poor, have only my dreams; I have spread my dreams under your feet; Tread softly because you tread on my dreams -Yeats
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Thank you, imagine!

I am just in AWE of the power of facebook exposures. It is a self selected group of the most key ppl in an OP/WS' life, so it saves the BS all the trouble of deciding WHO and then finding contact information. I am very impressed at its effectiveness.


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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I've said it before, but if I knew MB principles when D-day fell, I would have BOMBARDED it with full exposure of WW's A. As it was, I made some allusions to it, and she got so miffed and "offended" that I wound up taking my comments down.

Today I wouldn't buckle under, and NUCLEAR would take on a whole new meaning.


Preach the Gospel every day. When necessary, use words.
St. Francis of Assissi
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I am humbled and honored to be included in any heroes list. I have never thought of myself that way, though my DD11 tells me all the time that I am her hero.

MB has given me strength that I did not know that I had (and that I wish I had never needed). There are some things I wish I had had the strength to do differently, but I do know that I am growing and getting stronger every day. I need my WH less with each passing moment and I have all of you to thank for that. I still miss him, but I am not desperate anymore.

All of you here at Marriage Builders are heroes to me - Melody, you especially have given me so much. I have found out that I have so many friends - from those that I know personally here at home and that I never knew cared so much about me to those of you here at MB who care enough to take the time to listen to me and help me get through this. I hope that I am able to help others as you all have helped me.

Thank you!


BW (me - 45)
WH - 45
2 DDs
Married 20 years, together 25
DDay Spring 2009
WH moves out Summer 2009 and in with OW
Plan A - 4 months
Very dark Plan B Fall 2009
WH files D Summer 2010
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I concure, the VETS do make a difference when newbies first get here.....their support can make a TREMENDOUS difference when fighting the affair. I know things would have gone much differently in my sitch without the help of Mark, Mimi, Starfish, Schoolbus, Believe, Princess and others.....and the support of other newbies such as Queenie, Lala, TMTS and others made me feel not so alone....

That being said, I too commend all these "newbies" having the COURAGE to stand up to affairs astounds me, even IF I have already seen it before....KUDOS to all

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Agreed, even though my original "She had an EA and still longs for him" thread was lost in the Great MarriageBuilders Forum Purge of '09, the support and clue-by-fours I received were critical to figuring out how to survive while in Plan A.

Thanks, guys.


Doormat_No_More
(Formerly Barnboy)
Original thread lost in the forum purge of '09.
4 months after D-Day
1 year after D-Day
Two Years Later
Four Years Later
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Thanks, Barnboy. For reminding me that the "veterans" here also went through pain, misery, doubt, frustration, worry and more, and that's why you're here in the first place.

I value the advice I've received so much that I tend to forget that everyone here has been affected by infidelity. It's a rotten club filled with terrific people.

Again, thanks.


Preach the Gospel every day. When necessary, use words.
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Originally Posted by NotSure2
Also, bravo to all the other heroes here on MB!!! hurray

I , too, am truly humbled by my inclusion. I imagine Dude is, as well.

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