The problem my friend is this site is predicated on HONEST MARRIAGES, not AFFARIAGES, yes it was a long time ago, but the principles employed here run counter to the foundation of your relationship? In reality, even biblically, you are not married to this woman. You are in a really long term affair and should unwind it legally and go back to your original wife. That why I said you are f'd. You don't have a real marriage and I think you know this. You have a really long inappropriate relationship. I'm outta here. DUDE

How would you feel if the affair were to resume, you divorced, and he were to one day come to this site to seek advice on saving his affairage with your WW? Would you respect the posters here for helping to legitimize that relationship?

PRECISELY...DUDE

what do i do then?

oh for christ sake. She, a a gee total, got almost raped at a party. party, yes, wiling no. 3 minutes yes, more no!! because of this i should doom everything ?

THIS WAS NOT AN AFFAIR. A MOMENT OF MADNESS AFTER I HAD PUSHED HER TO THE CURB !!!!!

sorry. She is teetotal and got very, very, drunk !!

Hello again,

I am not sure if I understood your response to me. The man that raped your wife sounds like a total scumbag. It does not make any difference whether it was one thrust or 4. It only takes 1 thrust to transmit an std. Are you aware of this?

No, the marriage was doomed from the start. Thats what people are trying to tell you on here. YOU ARE IN AN AFFAIR RIGHT NOW!!! So is she w/ you. What she did was cheat on her married boyfriend. You came here for help in your AFFARIAGE. We are helping you see the light, I hope. Its actually pretty simple. You cheated on your wife, dumped her, got a legal divorce and a legal marriage(affairage). You need to undo this if its humanlly possible. You are a mouse in a maze who has wandered so far off the exit path it will take hundreds of turns to get back, you want to keep moving forward on your current path cuz it seems easiest but IT DEAD ENDS. DUDE

Bingo,

For the record, I would not expect my W to offer a BJ to a man just to stop intercourse from happening. I think you are totally deluding yourself in thinking this is somehow better than penetration. I will never understand that point of view at all, in fact, I think it is worse than penetration. but that's just me.

Dude has pointed out the obvious to you. Your M was based in an A and was thusly based on lies and deceipt. This is EXACTLY why Dr. H says the chance of these M's to survive is so slim.

What kind of foundation is this to build a M on? It is like building a house on shifting sands and expecting it will stand in the precence of a storm. Deluded wishful thinking at best!!!

Your 3% chance has come and gone and you now find yourself in the 97% loser category that these Affair mariages find themselves. You may find him (and me objectional) but he has spoken the unabridged truth to you.

What did you really hope to find at the end of your fantasy rainbow? A faithful M?

Based on lies and deceipt, you got what was predicted by most experts in the field, BINGO!@!!!!

All Blessings,
Jerry

9 years though ?

Sucks doesn't it...I think you know we are right don't you? BE HONEST w/US and YOURSELF...DUDE

A week ago I spoke with a man who married his affair partner 25 years ago. They are still married. And he carries the guilt and shame of his behavior with him every day of his life.

Quite a burden to carry, don't you think?

When and where did the dynamics of your M change??

It may have happened in your mind, but apparently your WW was not onboard.

The problem as I see it,(MVHO) is that the two of you are not on the same page.

It may take quite a bit of work for that to happen, but based on statistics, it will be harder and more difficult than most.

I still do wish you the best,

All blesings,
Jerry

Yeah, I'm out on that guilt crap...My conscience is a BEATCH!!! DUDE

thanks . an abortion in on the cards. wonderful.
9 years ? surely that counts for something. Is her letter to me false ?
thanks for your help

A nine year fantasy my friend. I know, it sucks. Is your ex-w single? Not trying to be funny I'm just curious..DUDE

i dont cary guilt. What for ? I got married to early, that ended, i still have custody of the kids and and we ( step mum and i ) have done well with that. why guilt after 9 years ?

my ex wife is single

is it not possible that a second marriage could be happy? i feel that way as does my wife. We just went through a period of adjustment. surely that is normal. test and all that ?