�MB is ultimately about the truth. And one day, you got it all.�
I doubt it. No adulterer ever tells all the truths. Not even you.
�You had a chance, you had all the tools, your sitch wasn't that unusual, and your WW wasn't the worst in the bunch of them around here.�
That is a patently ridiculous thing to write in this case.
Four (count�em: 4) OM�s for crikey�s sake. And those are just the ones he knows about! His wife�s adulterous behaviors started very early in their marriage and have continued non-stop the entire eighteen years of it.
This may be an archetype example of one of those other problems that needs to be fixed first kind of things. It appears to the casual observer LG�s WW has serious, serious personal problems and SH is not going to be able to fix her, no how. He is a marriage counselor, by his own admission, not an IC.
�MB is for building marriages.�
Actually, it is also for learning when the BS should cut their losses. How many times have you read here not all marriages should or can be saved?
�I would have been disappointed in Dr. Harley if he did not try to persuade you to try again.�
I thought LG�s M was doomed from way back. How many D-Days are we willing to force LG to suffer through anyway, just to preserve an MB dogma? Is one more chance really enough? I bet if she did it again the same posters would still be saying give her one more chance. And then again one more. And again. Lets, see. Four OM�s and starting early in the M is not enough for MB to say this is an M that should not be saved. Hmmm�. Would seventy times seven adulteries be enough before MB will allow a BS to end their suffering?
And as to violated principles (methods, actually)? Allow me to quote some MB scripture:
http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi5062_qa.html �With multiple affairs and recoveries, resentment is almost impossible to overcome. But then, in those cases I usually feel that the emotional reaction of resentment is not irrational at all.
Emotions are telling the person that it's not a good idea to continue the relationship, and I would agree.� Emphasis mine.
�Somebody, I don't know who, is going to benefit from that better Mrs Former LG. Because she is going to be better. And for the next 20 years, you will be looking in the window wondering why you threw it all away.�
Sheesh. No, she won�t be better. Maybe craftier better. She is who she is. She is who she has been since the beginning of the M. Don�t you read? So, now the demise of the M is LG�s fault too, huh? WS everywhere will love this one. But then this is coming from a WS, isn�t it.
No adulterer deserves to remain married. Or to be married to anyone at all, ever again for that matter. It is solely up to the BS to decide whether or not to
try to (emphasis mine, again) recover. And sometimes it takes the average BS quite a while to decide. I can say in all certainty I should not have listened to MB in the confusing two years after D-Day 2 of the 10 year VLTA. I now know I should have D�d right away. I probably still will, eventually. In my own time. But it would have been so much less painful to get it over with right away. MB did me no great service in getting me to try to recover. Recovery has been a huge waste of time. I simply cannot get over it. And like LG, I don�t think I even had an M to recover.
LG, I am happy to see you will not waste any more of your precious time.
