Plus, y'all do realize that Tabby is Canadian which does put a damper on any ability that she has to offer fashion tips anyway...soooooooooo...

KIDDING TABBY!

Mrs. W

Was there any independent time? Did you folks need interpreters?

What about me ladies? I'm your friend? We've all been wayward in some way during our lives?? DUDE

I didn't see this said anywhere in the 17 pages of comments, but I think both LG and Harley are correct. The liar, again, is the STBxWW.
See, the Harleys clearly aren't divorce coaches. 'Nuff said.
Also, LG said clearly that he was going to plan D.
My guess is that WW said something like this to the Harleys: "LG ~~says~~ he wants a divorce and I don't blame him. But I've changed my ways (bat eyelashes, even though that can't be heard over the phone) and I think he needs to give us one more chance. I think his pride isn't letting him back away from plan D, but maybe you can get him there."
In essence, my guess is that STBxWW gave Harley a strong sense that she was ready to rehabilitate her M, but she needed someone to get LG on board. I think she manipulated both of them, telling LG that she just needed help "becoming a better person."
I mean, come on! Even a high school psychology student can see this as a case of a very messed up woman with narcissistic personality disorder as well as a pathological liar.
Sadly, she was clever enough to get LG and Harley tangled in her web. She's smart, manipulative, and without remorse. Those people make the best serial killers, too, BTW, not saying she is one, just that she possesses the same characteristics of one.
LG, my guess is that STBxWW was giving Harley signals during HER sessions that things were improving, and that you were fence sitting, when in fact you were not. She gave Harley hope, during her sessions, that 1. she was changing, and 2. you were coming around. THAT'S probably why he pushed you so hard.
What a non-sociopath would have done, in your wife's situation, is say, "look, I've completely destroyed this marriage and I understand why I need to go. I am sorry for being such a flawed person and for pathologically lying to you for nearly two decades of your life, essentially your entire young adulthood."
I'm sorry that this happened, LG, because now you might be less likely to think that the MB principles can, in fact, strengthen marriages. Yours was just too far gone. It was long dead, but your STBxWW lied to Harley and pretended there was more hope than actually existed.
Your job now, should you choose to accept it, is to figure out how not to be bitter. I would struggle with that one.

I completely agree with the above. This woman has NPD, complete with her fake boobs, license to practice medicine, serial cheating for decades. She would make an excellent serial killer.

and yet you Tabby, are a current adulteror - being still married yet shacked up with some other man no?

Fornication is just as offensive to God as adultery too. Amazing how we like to compartmentalise and pick out the speck in our brother's eye while ignoring the log in our own.

Wait! I did! I did! Just not as eloquently as you:

" Sheesh. No, she won�t be better. Maybe craftier better. She is who she is. She is who she has been since the beginning of the M. Don�t you read? So, now the demise of the M is LG�s fault too, huh? WS everywhere will love this one. But then this is coming from a WS, isn�t it. "

Do I win anything?

Yeah, Aph. You win an all expenses paid divorce from your sociopathic wife. So, get moving on it. eh?

Listen, common sense would have told me to get the hell out of a marriage with a TEN YEAR affair and no sex...

You can't blame MB for your inability to ACT

I'm not sure we can quantify the offensive to God deal. It seems to fluctuate. He was ranking fornication a little lower, for a while, last I talked to him.

That's the problem with moral relativists. But never mind - I just looked it up and when God last spoke it was this:

Oh, the God you believe in. I was thinking of maybe one of the other ones.

I view Adultery as worse than fornication.

Thank you imanotherone! Very much appreciate your words! Fortunately I have GREAT family, friends and neighbors, and a wonderful IC who is helping me work through this. Baby steps...one day at a time...

"And I know what I have to do now. I gotta keep breathing. Because tomorrow the sun will rise. Who knows what the tide could bring?" - Chuck Noland (Cast Away)

Good morning Mr Phelps....

Excellent post ima!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

LG the bolded part is worth repeating several times....................

Adultery you are actually hurting someone that you promised to love and cherish....fornication, not so much....adultery was bad enough to be in the Ten Commandments, twice.

You're doing better than I would be, LG. You have behaved honorably in the face of incredible dishonor. You have owned your choices, and from where I sit, your decision for plan D makes perfect sense. Don't let yourself get caught up in any "what if" scenarios.
Since your STBxWW is still as smart and pathological as ever, and you're connected for life due to the kids, you must protect yourself from any attempts to rewrite the truth or manipulate the facts. Given that her deciet even reached her own parents, you've got a tough one there. Sounds like you're up for the work though. Well done so far.