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What qualifies as proof that my wife is having a sexual affair?
I think she is. In the fall of 2008, she sent a coworker emails expressing her love for him and saying that she enjoyed hugging and kissing him. In the spring, she got permanent contraception. In the summer, he mistakenly called to our house late one night and hung up after I called back. And in the fall, she moved out of our house.
This is enough evidence for me. But how to convince her parents and his wife? They may deny that anything has taken place.
---
BH (Me) = 39
WW = 32
Married but separated
Two young girls
Plan A: 12/01/09
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That is not evidence of an affair. I would hire a PI and you will probably have the goods in no time.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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I understand your point; my case is not a stone cold lock. But what qualifies as proof? A GPS tracker? Photos of her car at his place late at night or vice versa?
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"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Yes. Yes. Even better: photos of her car at his place late at night AND the next morning. Photos of them leaving his place together. Telephone call logs (if you have evidence, they can be subpoenaed by a court of law). Email messages, voice recordings...
A lot of these can be obtained by a PI costing less in time and money than if you were to try to obtain them yourself.
Preach the Gospel every day. When necessary, use words.
St. Francis of Assissi
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Fred in VA,
I hear what you're saying. I just have two questions:
1) Don't PI's in big cities cost about $1,000?
2) Wouldn't my in-laws be spooked by the fact that I hired a PI to investigate their daughter?
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She is OBVIOUSLY having an affair and it IS a stone cold lock. The PI will get incontrovertible evidence which may be useful if you are not in a no fault state.
Me: 56 (FBS) Wife: 55 (FWW)
D-Day August 2005
Married 11/1982 3 Sons 27,25,23
Empty Nesters.
Fully Recovered.
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Fred in VA,
I hear what you're saying. I just have two questions:
1) Don't PI's in big cities cost about $1,000? Probably around that. 2) Wouldn't my in-laws be spooked by the fact that I hired a PI to investigate their daughter? How would this be your problem?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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I would hope your IL's would be spooked by their daughter having an affair.
Me: 56 (FBS) Wife: 55 (FWW)
D-Day August 2005
Married 11/1982 3 Sons 27,25,23
Empty Nesters.
Fully Recovered.
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Big Kahuna,
I side with you (and get a kick out of your display name). But is there any basis for your opinion other than personal experience? You know what I mean? MelodyLane says it isn't a sure thing; you say it is.
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No - ML says you don't have proof but I bet she agrees it's an affair.
Yes - 4 years of experience.
Me: 56 (FBS) Wife: 55 (FWW)
D-Day August 2005
Married 11/1982 3 Sons 27,25,23
Empty Nesters.
Fully Recovered.
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Big Kahuna,
I side with you (and get a kick out of your display name). But is there any basis for your opinion other than personal experience? You know what I mean? MelodyLane says it isn't a sure thing; you say it is. MJ, it is obvious she is having an affair, but you need to find out for sure. You asked about getting proof and I suggested getting a PI.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Let me guess MJ - when she left, she told you "I love you but I'm not IN love with you"?
Me: 56 (FBS) Wife: 55 (FWW)
D-Day August 2005
Married 11/1982 3 Sons 27,25,23
Empty Nesters.
Fully Recovered.
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1) Don't PI's in big cities cost about $1,000? Without trying to be disrespectful to your financial situation, it is very likely a good investment, and will pay for itself many times over. This whole situation is going to be quite costly, and the sooner you realize that, the better. Take action!
_________________________
BH=36(me), WW=36
DDay: Dec 4 2009
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Fred in VA,
I hear what you're saying. I just have two questions:
1) Don't PI's in big cities cost about $1,000?
2) Wouldn't my in-laws be spooked by the fact that I hired a PI to investigate their daughter? OK, Michael, we need more information. To where did she move? Is it local? If you have the time and the determination, you can do the work of a PI. You'll have to purchase a GPS tracking device you can affix to her car (and retrieve as needed). If you have access to her car, you can hide a voice-activated recorder (again, you'll need to be able to retrieve it as well). Getting photos means you have a good camera (that can take night time pictures) and a willingness to hide and wait. Do you know the OM? Does your wife work with the OM? Where do they have the opportunity to meet? Do you have friends you can enlist to help you snoop? This is WAR, my friend. It's going to cost you a little to stock your armory. But it could cost you an awful lot more not to.
Preach the Gospel every day. When necessary, use words.
St. Francis of Assissi
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Wouldn't my in-laws be spooked by the fact that I hired a PI to investigate their daughter? How would they know if you don't tell them?
Preach the Gospel every day. When necessary, use words.
St. Francis of Assissi
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Big Kahuna,
Sort of; she said that she loved me, but that we're not meant to spend our lives together. What do you think?
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Is there an echo in here? She's reading straight from the Wayward Spouse's Handbook.
Preach the Gospel every day. When necessary, use words.
St. Francis of Assissi
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Big Kahuna,
Sort of; she said that she loved me, but that we're not meant to spend our lives together. What do you think? Ta Da! Straight out of the Wayward Script.
Me: 56 (FBS) Wife: 55 (FWW)
D-Day August 2005
Married 11/1982 3 Sons 27,25,23
Empty Nesters.
Fully Recovered.
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Big Kahuna,
Sort of; she said that she loved me, but that we're not meant to spend our lives together. What do you think? I've heard this somewhere before.... oh yeah my FORMER WW said that to me. IS there plagarism going on??????????????????
FBH 34 me,FWW 34,
DS 14, OC-D 12 (given up for adoption), DS-8, DD-5
D-Day#1 10-12-1998
D-Day#2 2-10-2008
Recovered!
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