I'm not sugesting he not be firm.

But the screw you B, where done, get lost and don't come back approach is less likley to result in recovery than a firm and respectful decloration of boundries.

The DUDE aproach may be more likley to result in D than the MB approach.

Boundries = respect
Threats/DJ's/orders/reveng/anger, do not = Respect, it may = Fear, but fear is not respect.

Whatever, I'm sitting right next to my fwxw and she agrees. No woman wants some sobby a$$ wimpy dude for a husband. Let plan A you, you are so sweet going and bangn the OM. See me doing the dishes w/ my apron on? THis is what you will be missing??!! Whatever. Patriot, chime in, whats your gut feeling? What I'm telling you? MAN UP MY FRIEND...DUDE

AND stock up on GOLD and SILVER and you will sleep well, just like I do..DUDE

I saw that you were in the same situation....how did it turn out for ya?

I am divorced, dating/seeing my fwxw w/ all my assets in my name. I know what I'm doing. You have to take control of the situation FIRST, then you can be Don Juan after her life crashes around her. You are going to have to bring her down. I did it. THEN, she will love and respect you and DESIRE you as the MAN. I wouldn't listen to some of the geeky(gacky) guys on here. YOU KNOW YOU NEED TO WEAR THE PANTS, THATS WHY YOU WANT THE JOB??! Run this show my friend. TAKE CONTROL RIGHT NOW BY TELLING EVERYONE WHAT SHE IS DOING and you will NOT put up w it...DUDE

I prefer Generators, Fire arms, heavy equipment, and large acreage with a water source. But what do I know, I'm a Plan-A/Plan-B wimp

Thats exposure, part of Plan-A.
Exposure is a great thing.

Yep.

I thoroughly enjoy but do not always agree with the Dude's all or nothing aproach but I think that in your case you need to take back the leadership role in your family that your wife has usurped. I believe that may be your only chance.

As before, I am praying for you and I applaud your deliberate if slow and thoughtful response. It may be exactly what your WW needs to shock her back to reality.If not, you seem ready and able to proceed on your own with your kids.

God's Blessings,

Say

You live in Texas. I'm jealous. They understand the usurpation of power.

Agreed on the generators, water source, food, gold and silver.

I also agree on the taking control of the situation. But not so sure about the dating of a wxw. I know I couldn't do it, even if she started floating in air, grew a halo, and performed miracles. I'd still wonder what the catch was and honestly feel I'd be sick to my stomach. I would also mean I'd have to give up one of the coolest women in the world.

But if it's good for Dude, I applaud it.

Finally, Patriot, if you do keep your cajones, just make sure you don't wear your pants on the ground. You'll look like a fool.

Go for the job.

x3 on the Job

Gack: You say be firm, but what does that mean? Do you say stop now or else? Do you tell her your not a doormat and I wont put up with it anymore? Not sure what being firm means. What are the consequences if she continues? I know what the consequences are, but do you point them out to her or is that considered a threat? Everything that's being said is so contrary to how I feel. What's funny is while she has been home this week and we have not really talked about this, we have gotten along great. Conversation is good, she's been responsive and attentive. But I know she's feeling good because she is getting the best of both worlds.

Firm = I can not allow you to continue to disrespect me and destroy our family by continuing your affair. Your relationship with OM must stop, or you will be forcing me to protect myself from your abuse.

Or something along those lines.

Then, if it does not end, go to Plan-B until you are ready for Plan-D

Plan Dude = F you B, get the heck out and don't come back, I'm going to the bar and have SF with as many women I can. Then doing everything you can to destroy your wifes life. Even after she ends the affair, goes NC with OM, and begs for your forgiveness.


I forget, have you exposed yet?
To everyone?

Yea as 'Gack' said, I don't think you've shared if you have exposed as of yet?

I agree with others about being firm. 'Dude' does make a lot of sense, and his idea prolly works with a lot of women, but not all. I don't think many women, if any at all, like weak men. They certainly do not respect them. If a woman is banging in front of you and in your face, that's total disrespect.

If she is sneaking around and denying she is doing anything, as another poster said, that's one thing, but when she is out in the open, carrying condoms, etc, in her purse, thats another thing.

I would, at LEAST, be 'firm', if not then I would do the Dude plan.

Thanks for the endorsement. You seem like a really smart guy...DUDE

You mean really smart, 'dude', lol.

Smarter than MOST 0n here..DUDE

My gut feeling is you're right, give her an ultimatum and force the issue. She has been home this week and all has been good. We have talked, not about that and the conversation is good. Until last night: I asked herwhat she thought I should do with my job and she said as long as you know I still need to travel a lot, you do what you want. So I said that means you continue to travel, I work 50 hurs a week with a 45 minute commute each way. I drop off and pick-up the kids. My life changes completely and your's continues on unabated. "Well I could quit my job, then what". Then I said you are going away this week..... are you going by yourself. She says yes. Then I rephrase it and say will you be there by yourself.....no. WTF! I said you know this can't continue...then the tears come and how she is confused, If I'm asking her to choose right now she can't. That I don't want a divorce. I told her that I want this to work, but your not a football that I'm willing to pass around with everyone. I said how am I suppose to compete with weekday getaways to New Orleans,.....5 star hotels, great food, no kids, bills or responsibility. Banging around like a monkeys in heat. Sign me up!! Then she comes back to kids running around, Cub Scouts, financial worries and THE REAL WORLD and she can't wait to get away again.. This has all reached a new level of absurd. I have not exposed yet, my plan is to wait until she leaves tonight and make the calls. By the time she lands, his and her phone should be blowing up. They should have a lot to talk about then. I'm sure It will be some interesting reading tonight.....stay tuned.

Oh yes Patriot, good decision. Finally. Yes, you need to expose to everyone.
We can't compete with a fantasy till the fantasy is over...
blessing

Praying for you,Patriot.You are doing the right thing for your M and your family.

God's Blessings,

Say