I don't think a WW can be dropped unwillingly from your HI, and being still married you would get the bills.

However never finance an affair.

Stop paying for the motel. Tell her you will not continue when the first payment has been used up.

Who have you exposed?

I've exposed her to her parents, my parents, and many of our friends at church. As far as he goes, he's a 19 y/o kid in CT I've told him once to back off, and as suggested I've been looking for his parents contact information, but have had no luck. I went through a list of 84 names for his mother (I found his cell phone number was in her name), but nothing panned out.

If the cell no is in mom's name then you should be able to find an address. Go visit the mom and tell.

Intelius only gave the city, no address and they have a very common last name.

Ah Ha.... The power of the internet prevails!!! Sort of.....

Found a picture of him and his dad when he graduated high school. So I now know his dad's name. Intelius still doesn't pull up a phone number though. grrrr.... I think it pulled the right one though, because his mom's name is in the list of relatives. Had an address, but Mapquest can't find it. Tried looking on the county assessors site to see if there was any contact information and the address doesn't exist there either.....hmmmm...Does have a P.O Box address as well. Might try an send a letter to both addresses. Would rather call. Any other ideas of how to find the phone number (might be unlisted).

OK, seeing I can't find a phone number, but I have an address I decided to write a letter to Mommy and Daddy..... Please let me know what y'all think:

Dear Mr. and Mrs. XXXXXX,
My name is Tresmal. I�m hoping that I was able to track down the parents of XXXXXX XXXXXX. If you are not XXXXXX's parents, I apologize for taking your time and you may discard this letter.
It has come to my attention that your son, XXXXXX is currently in an adulterous relationship with my 29 year old wife, XXXXXX. This relationship started online back in November, either through a Cystic Fibrosis web site or in the World of Warcraft game. The relationship has progressed to a point that my wife is now having an affair with your son. Whether the affair has become a physical affair yet, I do not know, I do know that they are having an emotional affair which has included phone sex, as well as cybersex (sex through e-mail, chat programs and phone texts) and possibly pornographic pictures being sent.
My wife and I have had some problems in our marriage lately and in the past which has caused her to have these emotional affairs. Typically they do not last long, however I am very concerned about this one. My wife and I are trying to work through the issues in our marriage and this affair is a severe hindrance to our reconciliation.
While your son is technically an adult, I would like to ask that you speak with him about this and explain to him that what he and my wife are doing is morally wrong.
If you would like to contact me concerning this matter, my phone number is (XXX) XXX-XXXX and my e-mail is XXXXXXXXXX.com.
Thank you for your time,

Tresmal, I think it's too wordy. And has too much non-essential information. Try refining it a bit:

I like the shorter version, but there is no address to give and I'm not certain this has gone physical yet. He lives in CT, we live in OH. To my knowledge they have not met each other. But I could be wrong.....

It was an example. Tailor it to meet your information. But don't prattle on about your feelings and minutae. Give them enough information that tells them you KNOW they are having an affair.

Bottom line: their son is acting inappropriately toward a married woman. 'Nuff said.

Just let them know that you know it's THEIR son.

So I called him again today.....

Told him that he needs to stay away from wife. That I intend to save our marriage and I will do whatever is necessary to do that.

Got the letter ready to go in the mail tomorrow to his parents (hopefully his parents), was running late this morning and forgot to grab it.

I also called her and told WW and told her that I called him and exactly what I said to him.

Well I called her right after I got off the phone with him. She let out a sigh, and then I told her exactly what I told him. She didn't really say to much. She came by shortly after to pick up my daughter to take out to dinner with a friend of ours and her daughter. I talked to her briefly, but the subject didn't come up. I did ask her if we could talk for a few minutes when they get back (should be home here in about 30 minutes). I'm hoping to see if I can get some kind of reaction/feedback from her then.

Apparently he's putting words in my mouth. He told her that I said "She told me this morning she doesn't love you." She also told her that I threatened him..... I did no such thing, but I can tell she's pissed.

What I told him was "This affair is a fantasy, and the love she's says she feels isn't real. It's only because you satisfy one of her emotional needs, something that I've neglected. I intend to rectify that. I intend to save my marriage, and I will do what it takes to do so."

How long should I wait before starting Plan B??? Right now she won't break of the affair. There is a marriage workshop down in Nashville, TN called A New Beginning, which is run by the Family Dynamics Institute the weekend of February 19th ( http://www.savemymarriage.com/ ). They use some of Dr. Harley's techniques. She says she wants to go, and told me that it would either bring closure or let her know that our marriage is worth saving.

I feel like I'm being used. My wife has Cystic Fibrosis and had surgery back in Novebember. The second part of the surgery is scheduled on February 18th, the day we're supposed to head down to Nashville. It's out patient and we should be able to leave right after. I just feel like she's staying around long enough to have the surgery done.

She told me yesterday that OM wants to come down in February to meet her. She said she hasn't decided if he should come or not. Part of her wants him to come, because she thinks that if someone else can make her happy than she'll know that we weren't meant to be together.

I figure I should at least wait until Mommy and Daddy get the letter, to see if that will end the affair. But I don't how much more of this pain I can take. Every time I see her my heart breaks a little more and I know my daughter is affected by all this, but she doesn't show it. This whole thing is affecting my work, I can't concentrate and all I can think about is my wife and how much I screwed up this past year.

My daughter just showed me an e-mail that she sent to my wife last night and my wife's reply. My daughter basically told her that she wishes my wife was back home.

My wife responded saying that she will always be there for her whether she's in the hotel or at home. That she can't wait until she starts dating, because they're going to have so much fun.

This is just cruel... She knows that my daughter still hasn't gotten over my divorce from her mother, even though it 14 years ago. She also knows how much her mother has messed with my daughter's head. Hence the reason my daughter wanted to come live with us. She sees my wife as her real mother. She's getting my daughter's hopes up and then if she doesn't come home it's going to destroy my daughter, not that it wouldn't destroy anyway, but getting her hopes up is going to hurt her even more.

I am so pissed off right now.....

This woman seems crazy telling DD that she can't wait to start cheating (date) on her dad.

Your case is proof why everyone that can be exposed must be exposed ASAP.

I hope you have been reading and learning here long enough to understand that this is just utter wayward bs and should be ignored. I know it is easier to say than done but still, do not take this seriously, please!


Stop accusing yourself about your wifes choices. Whatever you did or did not do, it does not justify A.

Continue with exposure and plan A. If they are planning to meet you will expose this info also, especially OM parents.

Went to the post office this morning and sent the letter express mail. Guaranteed delivery by noon tomorrow. It's a P.O. Box, so who knows when they'll get it. The address I found may not be his parents either. I'm pretty sure it is, cause in the relatives it listed his mother's name, but it didn't list his. Though being 19, I have my doubts he has very much on record.

She was talking about my daughter starting to date, not WW.

I would not reveal my exposure actions. I also would not know whether your wife reported accurate details of the OM discussion.

Keep relationship talk light. Keep discussion short but cheerful. You will NOT be depressed when you are speaking to her.

Remember, you are in plan A.