Treating an affair is so much like treating substance abuse that it's scary.

There are three phases of substance abuse. Simply put, they are
  • Fun
  • Fun--but with some consequences
  • Consequences
In nearly every affair mentioned or discussed here, they also seem to follow this pattern. Even those very rare cases where the AP stay together, the consequences seem to weigh down on them more than anything else.

Exposure is the first consequence. It doesn't necessarily mean that the affair stops being fun, but until exposure, it has been nothing BUT fun. Once exposure takes place, other consequences begin to rain down on the AP. In some cases it's just a drizzle and in others a major torrent, but it's like the crack in the dike.

No matter how far the affair goes, it eventually becomes more consequences than anything else. Why else do so many fail?

This is one argument for rescuing a marriage. If the affair can be nipped in the bud before the consequences get dire, recovery has a better chance. Just like the addict, the longer and harder addicted, the slimmer the chances for sobriety.

Preach the Gospel every day. When necessary, use words.
St. Francis of Assissi