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Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 6,025
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Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 6,025
Oh yeah...

You can't beat the price either.

I've occassionally suggested to BS's that as a condition of recovery they require their WS to post here at least 100 times. Within that time...they'll get hooked, learn a ton and hopefully become a better person for it.

Mr. Wondering


FBH(me)-51 FWW-49 (MrsWondering)
DD19 DS 22 Dday-2005-Recovered

"agree to disagree" = Used when one wants to reject the objective reality of the situation and hopefully replace it with their own.
Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 543
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Posts: 543
Originally Posted by rc2009
I have not wanted FWW to post in the past. She has read a few things I have printed off. It might be time to let her come and share the story from her perspective.

Are there suggestions for the right time for the FWW to come on board?

I cant talk about FWW's but I do know something of FWH's.

I posted here for a few months before my FWH came on board. I didn't force the issue, but I did print off posts and articles that I thought he would find interesting. He really liked many of them and I know his interest was piqued, but I think he was reluctant to post for fear of the 2x4's he would receive.

We'd been in recovery for over 5 months by the time he posted and our recovery was, I thought, fragile in the extreme. He may have thought differently but I didn't think he truly "got it" so I therefore didn't have the necessary faith in where we were heading.

I really credit much of our recovery to my H's decision to post here and specifically to the advice and twoxfour he received from tst and piojitos especially. It really hit home when others read his story in his words and came to conclusions that confirmed the Harley teachings I had told him about.

We've never looked back and are in a great recovery. I have nothing but praise for the MB programme but my FWH is even more evangelistic about it than I am. He would talk about it to everyone we know if I let him.

Anyway, to get to the point, the right time to introduce your FWW is when the A is over and you are entering the rebuilding process. Then it is priceless.


Me - BW
FWH - BB -(PA Jul 08 - Aug 08)
D-Day - 8 Aug 2008
Recovering nicely


Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 6,316
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Originally Posted by MrWondering
rc,

It worked for Mrs. W and I.

All I did was send her a link...she linked in and started reading. Sure enough SHE starting posting (I had just been a lurker at the time...SHE posted before I ever did).

It's made a HUGE difference...for us.

I think it's difficult for a BH to clear the fog from a FWW. We aren't supposed to be all "emotional" and stuff and we often don't have the tools nor vocabulary to address these things properly.

IF she's foggy or makes foggy statements HERE on the boards. She'll get called on it...by US and not you. YOU will be there with her to discuss the issues presented here as a "problem-solving team".

There will be times you'll just sit back and let the board handle issues and other times, even though you MAY agree with us...you take her side and either defend her here or defend here there and talk about how "crazy" or "cult-like" we all are here. lol

A BH trying to "teach" his FWW is just too parental seeming and feeling and IMO isn't productive...thus, the result is...the issues get swept under the rug which is BAD for BOTH of you.

Mr. Wondering

That dawg, Mr. W, beat me to it! stickout

I saw your question yesterday rc2009, and had every intention of answering you - just as soon as I finished tidying up, and making/having dinner...I figured I'd have time while Mr. W was helping our DD10 study for a science test...buuuttttttt...Wouldn't you know, I sat down at the computer only to find that something was wonky with our internet connection! grumble

Anyhoo...All that just to say, ^^^"YEAH, WHAT HE SAID!"^^^ grin [What Sere said too! wink]

This forum was a Godsend for us...I look forward to "meeting" your wife soon! smile

Mrs. W

P.S. I still highly recommend the MB Weekend or at least the Home Study Course...


FWW ~ 47 ~ Me
FBH ~ 50 ~ MrWondering
DD ~ 17
Dday ~ 2005 ~ Recovered

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