He told me, as I knew, that because this was an internal personnel matter, he would not be able to share the actions of the standard and ethics committee.

I'm already tired of this crap.

then we spent the rest of the afternoon eating popcorn and watching old movies

I love Shawshank Redemption. I've seen it about 50 times. I don't even need popcorn to watch that one. (-: Thank God for sisters. I feel sorry for people who don't have one. They are such a blessing.

Glad you are feeling a little more settled LLL. You have had a rough couple of weeks.

God's Blessings,

say

Although we think of love as an emotion, it is really more like a drive. Emotions come and go, whereas drives, like love, tend to persist. All emotions are associated with distinct facial expressions, whereas love is not. Love (like all of the basic drives I have discussed in this blog) is difficult to control. Furthermore, the most recent scientific research indicates that all drives, including love, are associated with activation of the brain pathway called the mesolimbic dopamine pathway.

Attraction: the first stage of love

Love, like other drives, is associated with wanting to get something. That something we are talking about here is a partner. The first stage of love, then, involves seeking out a partner. Scientists have called this the attraction phase. It is important for each person to understand how the attraction phase works within himself/herself. There are both conscious and unconscious parts to attraction.

The attraction phase involves the senses, primarily sight and smell. There may be chemicals that activate the brain through smell that we are not consciously aware of. Similarly, we may like the way someone looks and not be sure why. Our conscious mind and unconscious mind may be looking for different things in a partner. The unconscious mind plays a big role in our partner selection process.

It is important to realize that we can be taken over and captivated by attraction. Some of the symptoms of attraction or falling in love are �butterflies in the stomach,� clammy hands and racing heart. These symptoms are direct evidence of the physical nature of the love drive.

There is pleasure associated with getting the objects of our drives. In the brain, this pleasure involves many important chemicals like dopamine and the endorphins. Contact with the lover is also pleasurable because it releases oxytocin. This chemical produces reward by calming us down. (It doesn�t matter that it is the lover�s fault that we need calming.) Oxytocin is a powerful, natural anti-anxiety chemical.

The attraction phase usually lasts no more than 18 months. The reason for this is that it is too consuming. People have to be able to function, and when our energies are over focused on a lover, we aren�t as productive in other areas. Furthermore, the attraction phase has only one purpose. That is to get us hooked. When the pleasure chemicals and anxiety relieving chemicals are released in the brain, a compulsion is formed. That compulsion is to be with the lover. So the love that starts out as pleasure in the company of the lover becomes a compulsion. When the compulsion phase sets in, we feel compelled to stay with our lover no matter what. That is when we know �bonding� has taken place.

So the stages of love basically involve attraction, followed by great pleasure, followed by bonding. I would add a fourth stage, caretaking. Normal people feel an urge to take care of others toward whom they feel bonded.

... It's what happens when we "fall in love:"
[quote]
Although we think of love as an emotion, it is really more like a drive.