**edit**

Her desire to move into her own apartment, or ask you to move out, has precisely one cause:

1. To make room for the other man.

Keep that in mind whenever she wants to talk about this. I really like the "brain substitution" method of coping: whenever my wife uses certain phrases, I substitute what she's actually asking for.

"I need my privacy." Privacy == secrecy to talk to OM without getting caught. She's saying "I need my secrecy to talk to OM without getting caught." Puts things in the right perspective.

"I'm thinking about getting my own place." Getting my own place == moving out so that OM and I can spend more time together without your interference. "I'm thinking about moving out so that OM and I can spend more time together without your interference."

I built a whole dictionary of these substitutions in my journal once... I wonder if I should find it?

Text message. Can I stop it, not really. I asked her if they were going to meet and she said no, then I don't know. I reiterated how I felt and that if she see's him, that she would have to think about leaving. She hedged and said I know, I am just so confused. I said well pull your head out of your a** and see the light. Just kidding, I just listened and chewed on the inside of cheek some more. She has called twice this morning (already) and will propably call throughout the day. The funny thing she keeps asking about is what is my family saying? Has her family contacted me. Do they hate me, how could I ever get back in there good graces. I joked and told her as in mission impossible, they have disavowed any knowledge of her and destroyed any evidence she existed. Then I told he the truth that they wanted things to work out and are just sad and concerned. Thanks again to all who have posted responses, it's been a HUGE help for me. You all ROCK!

Crazies, you are a new poster. Have you read the principles of MB yet? Do you understand how A's happen, and the process for R a M? Do you understand the BS's plan? If you did, you would have answered your own question.

Two posts, made on the day you join as a member, both posts giving advice...although this one is, admittedly, in the form of a question. Do some reading on the site, why don't you, before you hang up your shingle and start dishing out advice.

tl

Pat, WW knows where you stand. Just be careful you don't sucked into drawn out conversations that go nowhere and rehash the same things to death. When she calls, you can ask things like what sounds good for dinner, if she wants to go to a movie this weekend, if she wants anything in particular for the grocery store, tell her about something funny the kids said or did, etc. Show her you are thinking of her and want her around but that you are doing what you have to do for yourself and the kiddos despite her A and ongoing confusion.

Good job! Keep it up!

Who are you, Crazies?

This s what happens when you take CONTROL of your own life. It brings back your personal integrity and power...... Remember this moment when you feel your emotions getting the best of you.......all this will aide you in your personal recovery

as for everything else she said.......TYPICAL WAYWARD CRAP.....nothing special or out of the ordinary

not2fu

She probably wont be here long.
I think MB may be a bit too "traditional" for her or her partner.
http://forum.marriagebuilders.com/u...in=158775&Number=2312629#Post2312629

Why are you clinging so desperately to this forum?

I believe Crazy has been banished for multiple aliases. Who knew? (-:

God's Blessings,

Say

At least Crazies was aptly named...

Time for re-exposure, especially on the OM front. Make your WW no longer worth the hassle of pursuing. The more you expose, the crazier and more unattractive he got. Continue to put the heat on OM, he will crack.

Yup, time to agrivate the OM

During Plan-A and my WW's cake eating I thought seriously about building a Cell Phone Jammer
(But the FCC kinda frowns on that)

Well, she is up there with him. She said she was in OKC, but she was in Midland. Now what.

Did you tell her that seeing OM was a boundary of yours that you could not accept her crossing?

How did you find this out?

It depends. What do you want to do? Is this a dealbreaker for you?

She has called your bluff. I would rexpose to her parents and OM's GF, sister etc, file and go a very dark PLan-B...But that's just me.

God's Blessings,

Say

1) Re-expose.

2) File for D and go for everything, full custody, child support, spousal support, the whole shabang. And make sure to get it automatically deducted from her paycheck.

She'll know you mean business and you can always drop the D if she comes crawling back. This way, the worst you can do is get custody of your children if you do eventually get divorced.

Reason I mentioned this last night was the tone of her conversation and the fact that Dallas is midway b/n Austin and OKC.

Now instead they went anthr direction to Midland suggests to me that they had this all planned before the trip while you were being duped into thinking there was NC.

Re-expose the hyprocrits to her family. Next I would have conversation with OM that he will not be welcomed around the family and that if thought the last week was too much drama - he is fixin to have a life full of drama.