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DH is out of hte country and wont beback till feb 6 I was at my friends house having some wine and my friend had to go out to run some errands and I stayed with the husband who is my firend as well, so we started talking and one thing led to another and welll you know.
I don't know what I'm asking I'm in total freak out mode I cannot believe I did this.
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Seems rather odd that you would cheat on your H and with your friend's H. Do you have psych issues? Is there a pattern of cheating in your life?
You need to tell your friend and H so the betrayed spouses can decide if they want out, IMO.
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Yea one thing led to another, he tripped and his weiner fell in you, over and over.
So sad...that is YOU are so sad.
Last edited by codtej; 01/28/10 09:41 AM.
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I was drunk it was a mistake it won happen again, i have never cheated, my worst fear is that my firend finds out.
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Worst fear is your friend finds out? Don't care if your husband finds out?
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he won't find out I love him and telling him will only hurt him obviusly I know it was wrong and I'm looking for help here.
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Not sure what drinking has to do with it. Unless you were unconcious, this was fully voltional.
Despite your pledge to never do this again, your H and the other BS do need to know, don't you think? You need to get tested for STDs, now and refrain from sex with your H until you get a clean bill of health. Same for your friend's H.
It's is unfair to your H to allow him to stay in the marriage under false pretenses. He needs to know so he can decide if he wants out, now. Wouldn't you want to know?
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He WILL find out, you can believe that. My wife didn't think I'd find out, but I did, 21 years later.
Karma is a beeatch, and it will follow you and he will find out, trust me.
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Seriously even taking out the moral issue re fraud on your spouse, consider the health risks.
If your friend's H was willing to have sex with you, imagine what he has done in the past. You are exposing your H to every partner that guy has had if you have sex with your H now.
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No I wouldn't want to know if it's a one time thing, besides this people are my closest firends we do everything together I don't want to lose them as friends. I don't want my husband out of the marriage, it will terrible hurt our marriage if he were to find out wich he won't.
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Lok
Do you feel you really have a choice? If you're looking for someone on this site to help you hide what's happened you're in the wrong place.
If you had takin sometime to read the info here and surfed some of these threads you would know this.
Suggest you do that first before you insult everybody here. Then maybe you'd come back with th right questions and attitude.
Don't pray for God to guide your footsteps unless you are willing to move your feet
Me BH 55, WW 40, M 12 yrs, 3 Boys 19, 10 & 8.
Separated Sept 08
DDay Dec 08
Plan A Mar 09
Plan B 16 Nov 09
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No, you already hurt him in the worst possible way; he just doesn't know it yet.
Your M may not survive this, but the only chance you have to truly recover from this is to tell your husband and your now-ex-friend.
Then you need to go No Contact from your ex-friend and her husband.
Keep reading here, too, and learn about the plan you need to follow to recover personally, if not maritally.
A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner.
~ English proverb Neak's Story
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Well, then how do you plan on explaining the refraining from sex while you get tested. I think you need about 6months for the clean bill of health. Some of these diseases have an incubation period.
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You have already lost your friends.
So has your BH.
Your choice.
A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner.
~ English proverb Neak's Story
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You keep saying he won't find out, thats rich.
You write like you're a Filipina...hmm.
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he won't find out I love him and telling him will only hurt him obviusly I know it was wrong and I'm looking for help here. You want help. H needs to know, ASAP. You've just put the first brick in the wall separating the two of you, don't keep adding more. This is why my FWW and I have extraordinary protections in place, to prevent this from happening. We don't allow ourselves to drink unless we are both togethor. We don't allow ourselves to have members of the opposite sex in the house while the other is away. We don't allow ourselves to give car rides or meals with the opposite sex. We don't discuss our M with other people We make sure we share passwords to FB and MS. We sat down once we started posting on MB and figured every which way temptation could endanger our M and put our own boundaries to prevent situations like this. You and your H need to do the same thing. My FWW tried the "one thing led to another"
FBH 34 me,FWW 34,
DS 14, OC-D 12 (given up for adoption), DS-8, DD-5
D-Day#1 10-12-1998
D-Day#2 2-10-2008
Recovered!
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I'm sorry I do not need help hiding anything, if he finds out I'll deal with that but I won't tell him I love I don't want to hurt him. I'm looking for help probably this is the wrong place, It is not my intention to insult anyone I just realized I made the worst mistake fo my life and need some help dealing with it.
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You're being told what to do, you're looking for someone to help you hide what you did.
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I'm from latin america why does it matter anyways.
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It will be worse if you hide it. He will be upset, no doubt.
But, you do not have the right to play God with his heatlh and self determination.
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