It will help to read Dr Harley's perspective on As, whether ONS or long term relationship. Start READING!

The other wife will figure out her husband banged you, then the cats out of the bag. It will get to your husband, and then he will have a BIG problem, finding out from someone else.

You deal with it by admitting to and owning your hurtful behavior. Not to a bunch of strangers. To the people you actually did this to, your H and your friend.

Would you want to know if your H banged your friend? Or would you prefer to continue hanging out with her, completely oblivious to what goes on behind your back?

And I refuse to believe I lost 12 years of friendship over this [censored] mistake I get it I know how wrong it is as for the testing I can get blood draw today DH wont be coming back till feb 6.

Screwing your best friend's husband is what will hurt him, but that didn't stop you, did it.
Confess to your BH and your friend. Today.

I'm telling you, your friend will somehow find out her husband cheated...then find out its you....then it will get back to your husband.

What a tangled web we weave....

Get the testing asap. What about your friend's need to be tested>? She's been exposed to you and your H's sexaul history , now. And, if her H was willing to have sex with her friend, can you imagine the types of relationships he has been willing to have in the past? Your friend needs to know that her H is promiscuous, so she can protect her health.

Why were you alone with your friend's H in the first place? If she went to the store, why did you stay? Anyway, having S with one's H doesn't just happen, and it wasn't the alcohol that made you do it. Obviously, you and the H had already crossed some emotional boundaries before he accidently slipped his pecker in you. You need to stay away from this woman and her H. You are not her friend. You are a threat to their M.

It doesn't matter where you're from. Adultery is the same all over the world.

So is the healing process - including telling the people you have already terribly hurt, having no contact whatsoever with your OP, and putting boundaries in place to protect your M in the future.

That isn't what you wanted to hear, but it's the only right way.

Not telling and hoping they don't find out is a slow death by infection.

Honey, I've drunk plenty in my years. And I have NEVER screwed some woman's H. Never even been tempted. Offers? Yeah, I've had them. I've never accepted them. Accept the fact that you bedded your friend's H because you wanted to.

how is that marriage building, my husband will divorce me if he finds out I want to stay married.

Slow death by infection....exactly. Their marriage is forever changed and won't be healthy, if it ever was, until its all in the open.

Check the sentance structure and "i's". How can someone who registered yesterday know ALL THE abreviations .sp?

Hello? This one is a softball.......mods? How many times is this troll going to post here?

She didn`t mwent to the store she had to go meet with her boss i couldn`t go withher she said I should stay and she would be abck in an hour wich she was.

Okay, time for a former wayward to chime in here.

You may not want to hear this lokil, but your friendship is over. Refuse to believe it if you must, but if you truly love your H and want to heal your M, you will cut off all ties with your friend and her H, write a NC (no contact) letter to the OM (other man), never see or speak to him again for as long as you live, and put all of your heart and soul into your M. Tell your H and tell him now. Tell him that you love him and that you will do everything necessary to heal his heart and fix your M.

That's the only way. The longer you hide this from him and lie to him, the worse it will be. It will become a cancer that eats you alive. There's no way you can have a healthy M and keep this secret from your H. I'm sorry, there just isn't.

Go out and get yourself a copy of Dr. Harley's book, "Surviving an Affair." It will show you the way to heal the terrible damage you have already done to your M. The truth will not damage your relationship with your H. Your A has already done that.

If you really want to fix this, there is a way. The question is, are you willing to take the necessary steps?

You're already said you don't want to deal with it. You want us to tell you how you can keep it to yourself and be able to live with it. You either step up and become a person of integrity, admit what you've done and accept the consequences or live your life with a horrible dirty secret that will eat you alive and be 1,0000 times worse when it's found out later.

If you choose to keep this from the betrayed spouses, you are basically stealing their lives from them. This is huge.

The only way to cleanse yourself it to repent. It will be hard but you'll actually be doing yourself a favor in the long run.

Your first statement cancels out the other two.

You HAVE lost 12 years of friendship. You can resist the advise you're given here; that's your choice. But hiding this will not lead to the result you want. It will only get worse and worse and worse.

We would spare you, and your already-wounded BH that additional suffering if we could. It's up to you, though, not any of us.

If you want to keep it a secret then just don't tell him....he will NEVER find out, lol.

Listen sister, this is a tough crowd. We've all been through it, or are going through it now, so you are hearing from those that have 'been there, done that'.

Lots of experience speaking here, (the group in general).

Barbie, I wondered about using the 'BH' right off the bat as newbys don't usually do so.

Just because you refuse to believe it doesn't mean it ain't so.

Your selfishness in not owning up to the BIGGEST mistake of your life by not coming clean and being FAIR to everyone involved is really quite disgusting. If you are hiding it this time, you will hide it in the future when it happens again.

Right now you have a chance to save your M. By hiding it and allowing your H to find out later, you drastically reduce your chances. Your call.