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In case you havn't noticed I feel like [censored] already no need to make me feel worst.  YOUR CHOSEN BEHAVIOR is why you feel bad...You will continue to feel HORRIBLE until you tell the truth - FEELINGS FOLLOW ACTIONS... Honesty is the solution to this, Lokil... Mrs. W
FWW ~ 47 ~ MeFBH ~ 50 ~ MrWonderingDD ~ 17 Dday ~ 2005 ~ Recovered
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In case you havn't noticed I feel like [censored] already no need to make me feel worst. I've noticed and I also don't see you doing ANYTHING about it yer own darn self. I'm not making you feel worse. You did that on your own. I'm trying to make you DO something to make this right...but you seem hell bent on wallowing in it.
I never had to take the Kobayashi Maru test until now. What do you think of my solution?O'hana means family, and family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten. My Story Recovered!
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In case you havn't noticed I feel like [censored] already no need to make me feel worst. Part of growing up is realizing that it isn't all about you. Apparently, you haven't reached that stage of maturity yet.
Me: BS/FWW: 48
BS/WH: 50
DS: 30, 27, 25
DD: 28
OC: 10
BH and I are raising my OC together.
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And do not attempt to foist blame for your bad feelings onto me or anyone else on here...you did this all on your own.
Woman up and face it like a REAL HUMAN would or wallow in it like a little girl.
Like the choice to sleep with your friend's husband it is ALL YOURS to make.
I never had to take the Kobayashi Maru test until now. What do you think of my solution?O'hana means family, and family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten. My Story Recovered!
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How the hell I stop seeiing my best friends for life seriously. You tell her you effed her H, this problem will take care of itself. Do you usually screw your BFF's husbands? Would YOU want someone to posture themselves as your bff and then eff your H?
Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.
(Oscar Wilde)
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Lokil... You are in a "room" full of people that have been through this on one side or the other... Notice that we all agree on the solution... You are the only one that does not agree... Now, in this "room" full of experience what do you think the odds are of your being right and us being wrong?  Mrs. W
FWW ~ 47 ~ MeFBH ~ 50 ~ MrWonderingDD ~ 17 Dday ~ 2005 ~ Recovered
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Lokil
I'm picking up real conflict within you. I just can't imagine why you would be hanging around when everyone is telling you the same thing and you are disagreeing.
Do you think there is a chance that we might be right?
When are you going to fess up?
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Lokil... You are in a "room" full of people that have been through this on one side or the other... Notice that we all agree on the solution... You are the only one that does not agree... Now, in this "room" full of experience what do you think the odds are of your being right and us being wrong? Mrs. W Mrs. W, I have a theory.  I have been in a roomful of people who have different morals than I do...and that does not make their morals right. Unless and until OP accepts a moral right, and the consequences of her beliefs, she will not change. So I ask: Do You (OP) believe that you are morally right to withhold this information from your H and bff?
Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.
(Oscar Wilde)
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I do not want to hurt them. I have no idea waht is morally right but how is telling going to fix it, you all tell me go tell tell and the only result I see if I do that is a huge trainwreck. WHy would I want to cause distress for this people that i care very much about.
I screwed up I get it I just don't want to cause more damage than i have already caused. Anyways I need a few days to think about it.
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You will cause more damage if you dont fess up, dont you see? You already hurt them. The damage has already been done.
BW me-41 WH -39 DS - 9 married 12 Yrs together(?) 18 yrs when A discovered DDay aug 2007 found MB dec 2007 Moved out april 2008 still seeing OW Plan B Okay I fixed the ages, it was looking screwy.
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I just don't want to cause more damage than i have already caused.
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Lokil, there are no paths out of here that aren't sh*tty.
Path 1 (hard): confess everything; lose friends; lose business, feel shame; possibly lose husband; feel miserable; huge life shakeup.
Path 2 (tempting): keep quiet; spend rest of marriage feeling uneasy when husband is around those friends; spend rest of marriage fearful of secret being revealed; spend rest of marriage being strained around husband; spend rest of marriage stressed, unhappy and increasingly resentful of husband; quite probably, sleep with friend again or have other affair (happens frequently); eventually, marriage likely to die because of lack of real intimacy OR husband finds out and realises he has been made a fool of for years; feel constantly guilty and ashamed.
Both paths are unattractive. Only one leaves you with personal integrity.
TA
"Integrity is telling myself the truth. And honesty is telling the truth to other people." - Spencer Johnson
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Lokil... You are in a "room" full of people that have been through this on one side or the other... Notice that we all agree on the solution... You are the only one that does not agree... Now, in this "room" full of experience what do you think the odds are of your being right and us being wrong? Mrs. W Mrs. W, I have a theory. I have been in a roomful of people who have different morals than I do...and that does not make their morals right. Unless and until OP accepts a moral right, and the consequences of her beliefs, she will not change. So I ask: Do You (OP) believe that you are morally right to withhold this information from your H and bff? I believe in moral absolutes, maritalbliss...One example : "Adultery is ALWAYS wrong."...What someone else believes does not change TRUTH... Lokil will meet with the business end of the above named moral absolute eventually - when she does, she will have no doubt about it being THE truth... Mrs. W
FWW ~ 47 ~ MeFBH ~ 50 ~ MrWonderingDD ~ 17 Dday ~ 2005 ~ Recovered
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I never had to take the Kobayashi Maru test until now. What do you think of my solution?O'hana means family, and family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten. My Story Recovered!
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I do not want to hurt them. I have no idea waht is morally right but how is telling going to fix it, you all tell me go tell tell and the only result I see if I do that is a huge trainwreck. WHy would I want to cause distress for this people that i care very much about.
I screwed up I get it I just don't want to cause more damage than i have already caused. Anyways I need a few days to think about it. Lokil, If I steal all the money from your bank account - that would be ME hurting YOU, right? Your knowledge of my stealing wouldn't change that the HARM - THE HURT - was done WHEN I chose to steal, would it? Same principle applies here. YOU ALREADY HURT YOUR HUSBAND AND FRIEND... Please stop saying "I don't want to hurt them"...THAT is DONE... Mrs. W
FWW ~ 47 ~ MeFBH ~ 50 ~ MrWonderingDD ~ 17 Dday ~ 2005 ~ Recovered
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Lokil,
dejando de lado las pavadas que han escrito algunos, te est�n diciendo la verdad. La �nica forma de corregir tu error es decirle a tu marido y a tu mejor amiga lo que ocurri�. Y nunca m�s ver a tu mejor amiga y su marido.
Las consecuencias a largo plazo s�lo posponen las consecuencias y las empeoran con las mentiras que van a tener que aparecer para disimular lo que ocurri�. lo m�s probable es que te vuelvas a acostar con el marido de tu amiga...
Creo que no es lo que quieres, pero es 90% probable que ocurrir�, sino se destapa todo antes por otro lado. Y al final, dejar�s de ser amiga....
segu� leyendo y ver�s que lo que comienza con un error no intencional, si no se corrige, termina en cosas mucho peores. Quer�s ser infiel cuando tengas ni�os y terminar all� en divorcio? Quieres que tu amiga se entere dentro de unos a�os que su marido le ha sido infiel m�ltiples veces por que, total, parece que no tiene consecuencias, ni a�n con alguien que se dice la mejor amiga?
las posibilidades de salvar tu matrimonio son m�ximas ahora con la admisi�n a tu marido y a tu amiga de lo ocurrido. Despu�s disminuyen las posibilidades de que llegues a tener un buen matrimonio con tu marido. Y a largo plazo disminuyen tus posibilidades de cualquier matrimonio exitoso.
Solo las personas que tienen conciencia y buenas intenciones son capaces de buscar soluciones. Si no tuvieras conciencia y moral no hubieras venido aqu�. Te hubiera importado un comino y hubieras empezado esa vida de mentiras y enga�os a la que est�s destinada si no haces lo correcto, como muchas personas a nuestro alrededor.
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P.S. I wish we lived ~~~> HERE It's for sale too, and the price has been REDUCED! It was $45,000,000 and now it is ONLY $28,000,000! SEE??? What a bargain, huh?  Psssst Gack, it's in GEORGIA! If you let Mr. W and I tag along on your boat, we'll let you store it at our "crib" AND play golf on our private course - watch movies in our theater [modeled after The Fox], play in our "Train Room" [modeled after The Georgia Railroad], play in our "simulated golf room"...ride our horses - play in our bowling alley, etc...  It's a deal! And what a bargon!! At my current income I could pick that up in...lets see here. Income/Price...Cary the one + time = Never! Awsome 
Me 34
WW 30
Abandoned Feb 17th 08, D-Day Aprl 27th 08.
Returned home Jul 7th, OC born 12/30/08
The FOG is clear, and we are in recovery.
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I do not want to hurt them. I have no idea waht is morally right but how is telling going to fix it, you all tell me go tell tell and the only result I see if I do that is a huge trainwreck. WHy would I want to cause distress for this people that i care very much about.
I screwed up I get it I just don't want to cause more damage than i have already caused. Anyways I need a few days to think about it. If you really are real. You need to tell them. If you don't, they will eventually find out. And it will happen again before they find out. This will be far worse than admitting it now.
Me 34
WW 30
Abandoned Feb 17th 08, D-Day Aprl 27th 08.
Returned home Jul 7th, OC born 12/30/08
The FOG is clear, and we are in recovery.
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P.S. I wish we lived ~~~> HERE It's for sale too, and the price has been REDUCED! It was $45,000,000 and now it is ONLY $28,000,000! SEE??? What a bargain, huh? Psssst Gack, it's in GEORGIA! If you let Mr. W and I tag along on your boat, we'll let you store it at our "crib" AND play golf on our private course - watch movies in our theater [modeled after The Fox], play in our "Train Room" [modeled after The Georgia Railroad], play in our "simulated golf room"...ride our horses - play in our bowling alley, etc... It's a deal! And what a bargon!! At my current income I could pick that up in...lets see here. Income/Price...Cary the one + time = Never! Awsome LOL! There's always the lottery! Get this: JUST the master bedroom of that home is 7000 square feet! 
FWW ~ 47 ~ MeFBH ~ 50 ~ MrWonderingDD ~ 17 Dday ~ 2005 ~ Recovered
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bargones. Remember to use the feminine form of the noun. 
Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.
(Oscar Wilde)
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