Welcome to the
Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum

This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. Also, information about the Marriage Builders principles can be found in the books available for sale in the Marriage Builders® Bookstore.
If you would like to join our guidance forum, please read the Announcement Forum for instructions, rules, & guidelines.
The members of this community are peers and not professionals. Professional coaching is available by clicking on the link titled Coaching Center at the top of this page.
We trust that you will find the Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum to be a helpful resource for you. We look forward to your participation.
Once you have reviewed all the FAQ, tech support and announcement information, if you still have problems that are not addressed, please e-mail the administrators at mbrestored@gmail.com
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 10 of 25 1 2 8 9 10 11 12 24 25
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 142
L
lokil Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
L
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 142
Gracias ccb. Honestamente no se que hacer, si tengo conciencia y me pesa demasiado, todo es muy reciente voy a esperar a qeu mi marido llegue en febrero para ver mientras tanto voy a hacer lo posible por no ver a mis amigos.

Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 895
S
Member
Offline
Member
S
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 895
Press one for English.

God's Blessings,

Say


Me, BW-57
FWH 54
4 kids and 4 grandbabies between us
In recovery since D-day, May 28,2007
FWH never onboard the MB boat but still clinging to the side.
One day at a time by God's grace.
Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 3,490
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 3,490
Originally Posted by lokil
I do not want to hurt them. I have no idea waht is morally right but how is telling going to fix it, you all tell me go tell tell and the only result I see if I do that is a huge trainwreck. WHy would I want to cause distress for this people that i care very much about.

I screwed up I get it I just don't want to cause more damage than i have already caused. Anyways I need a few days to think about it.

Well you will be causing TONS more damage by LYING to them (lying by omission is still a LIE).

Since when it LYING the best way to deal with something???

Lokil ~ many of us have been here for years, we are in recovered/recovering marriages from ADULTERY. We're pretty d*mn sure we know the best way to heal this.

Lying about it and covering it up has NEVER resulted in a recovered marriage.

Do your homework and read some of the articles on this site to see WHY you need to 'fess up.



Me,BW - 42; FWH-46
4 kids
D-Day #s1 and 2~May 2006
D-Day #3~Feb.27, 2007 (we'd been in a FR)
Plan B~ March 3 ~ April 6, 2007

In Recovery and things are improving every day. MB rocks. smile
Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 315
C
Member
Offline
Member
C
Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 315
lokil, creeme que es mejor decirle a tu marido cuando llegue y luego a tu amiga. En el inter�n no veas a tus amigos.

Mientras tanto en estos d�as que ten�s lee los casos que hay aqu�, y ver�s que todos son m�s o menos iguales....

adulterio es adulterio es infidelidad y creo que tu no quieres ir por ese camino.

cometiste un error. est�s a tiempo de corregir con las m�nimas consecuencias (que no son nada menores por cierto) ahora.

Cuanto m�s tiempo pase, peor va a ser.

te busco algunos casos parecidos?

Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 8,344
D
Member
Offline
Member
D
Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 8,344
Originally Posted by lokil
Gracias ccb. Honestamente no se que hacer, si tengo conciencia y me pesa demasiado, todo es muy reciente voy a esperar a qeu mi marido llegue en febrero para ver mientras tanto voy a hacer lo posible por no ver a mis amigos.

I think it would be a good thing not to see your friends - tell your husband first. HE is who you owe your honesty to before all others.

We really do want the best for you and your husband, you know.


I never had to take the Kobayashi Maru test until now. What do you think of my solution?

O'hana means family, and family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten.

My Story

Recovered!
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 142
L
lokil Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
L
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 142
por favor hasta ahorita no he encontrado ningun caso parecido al mio.

Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 8,344
D
Member
Offline
Member
D
Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 8,344
BTW: There are worse things than what you have done, and marriages have survived them AND gone on to thrive.

I promise that there are.

But those marriages that survived and thrived did so by allowing the wounds to air out and heal first.


I never had to take the Kobayashi Maru test until now. What do you think of my solution?

O'hana means family, and family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten.

My Story

Recovered!
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 6,986
P
Member
Offline
Member
P
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 6,986
Quote
por favor hasta ahorita no he encontrado ningun caso parecido al mio.


Your case is not unique.


Widowed 11/10/12 after 35 years of marriage
*********************
“In a sense now, I am homeless. For the home, the place of refuge, solitude, love-where my husband lived-no longer exists.” Joyce Carolyn Oates, A Widow's Story
Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 8,344
D
Member
Offline
Member
D
Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 8,344
Originally Posted by lokil
por favor hasta ahorita no he encontrado ningun caso parecido al mio.

I would say that up till now, MY story is worse than yours.


I never had to take the Kobayashi Maru test until now. What do you think of my solution?

O'hana means family, and family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten.

My Story

Recovered!
Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 8,344
D
Member
Offline
Member
D
Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 8,344
I will not coddle you, but I am sorry you are hurting like this.


I never had to take the Kobayashi Maru test until now. What do you think of my solution?

O'hana means family, and family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten.

My Story

Recovered!
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 142
L
lokil Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
L
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 142
I know its not unique i was just reading around here and didnt find anything. I know I didn't invented one night stands.

Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 8,344
D
Member
Offline
Member
D
Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 8,344
I have to go now.

You get out of bed, eat something, and take a shower. Then get back on here and READ till your eyes cross.

MB saved me and it saved my marriage....and it only did so because I READ everything I could and then I made a plan.


I never had to take the Kobayashi Maru test until now. What do you think of my solution?

O'hana means family, and family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten.

My Story

Recovered!
Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 5,860
T
Member
Offline
Member
T
Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 5,860
After just reading the first page you need to tell the OMW/your friend and your BH. This needs to be done today. Confessing to a BH is the best way to start recovery.

Also you must have NC with the OM and OMW for ever.

Now I going to read the rest of this thread though I know it will not change my advice.

Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 1,277
G
Member
Offline
Member
G
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 1,277
Well, sins I don't speak Spanish, maybe we could try English?

Or can I start blathering things in Klingon?

Oh, and I actually kinda doubt she is a troll now.
Just bad timing.


Me 34
WW 30
Abandoned Feb 17th 08, D-Day Aprl 27th 08.
Returned home Jul 7th, OC born 12/30/08
The FOG is clear, and we are in recovery.
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 142
L
lokil Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
L
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 142
Originally Posted by Dealan-de
I will not coddle you, but I am sorry you are hurting like this.

thank you.

Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 8,344
D
Member
Offline
Member
D
Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 8,344
All Klingons must check their weapons at the door, thank you very much.


I never had to take the Kobayashi Maru test until now. What do you think of my solution?

O'hana means family, and family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten.

My Story

Recovered!
Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 315
C
Member
Offline
Member
C
Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 315
I remember there was a case similar to lokil�s. I think it was a military wife who slept with her husband�s friend and she came on here asking what to do. She accepted the advice and was going to tell her husband when he came back which was in a few days...

anyone remember her name or her thread?

Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 300
I
Member
Offline
Member
I
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 300
She wants to read about similar stories to hers.

Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 300
I
Member
Offline
Member
I
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 300
Originally Posted by Gack1
Or can I start blathering things in Klingon?
Klingon??? Na'Vi is much more chic these days...

Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 1,277
G
Member
Offline
Member
G
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 1,277
Originally Posted by Dealan-de
All Klingons must check their weapons at the door, thank you very much.
Does that include my Bat'leth?


Me 34
WW 30
Abandoned Feb 17th 08, D-Day Aprl 27th 08.
Returned home Jul 7th, OC born 12/30/08
The FOG is clear, and we are in recovery.
Page 10 of 25 1 2 8 9 10 11 12 24 25

Link Copied to Clipboard
Forum Search
Who's Online Now
0 members (), 167 guests, and 59 robots.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Newest Members
anonymous2025, Miss Crystal, Muschalek, Lucy Martin, Liiyan
71,936 Registered Users
Latest Posts
Separation
by ScreamArt - 01/16/25 11:36 PM
Can I become attracted to anyone?
by ertoops - 01/14/25 06:05 PM
Advice pls
by BrainHurts - 12/24/24 02:50 PM
Forum Statistics
Forums67
Topics133,620
Posts2,323,477
Members71,937
Most Online3,185
Jan 27th, 2020
Building Marriages That Last A Lifetime
Copyright © 2024, Marriage Builders, Inc. All Rights Reserved.
Site Navigation
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.5