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When your BH finds out twenty years from now it will only be worse. He will feel that these twenty years were a lie. He'll want answers you will not remember enough to answer. Or claim to not remember any.
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When your BH finds out twenty years from now it will only be worse. He will feel that these twenty years were a lie. He'll want answers you will not remember enough to answer. Or claim to not remember any. Living proof right here...!
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>He will feel that these twenty years were a lie.
Trust them here. There is a big, gaping hole in the middle of my marriage where I question EVERYTHING that was said and done because those years were the lying years and even the truths of those years are hollow and low.
I never had to take the Kobayashi Maru test until now. What do you think of my solution?O'hana means family, and family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten. My Story Recovered!
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I agree, that if he finds out 20 years down the road, he will be more hurt. Now, if he wants to , he can cut his losses and find someone else.
That said, the stuff Ihave read indicates that the vast majority of affairs go undetected. This one may be a little different due to the relationship between the couples.
I raise this not because I do not think the risk of discovery should be a consideration. Rather, though, it seems the more valid motivator should be the desire to allow your spouse self determination.
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She is obviously attracted to this man.
If she does not go no contact for life, it will happen again.
No contact will be much easier to maintain if the affair is exposed.
Not to mention, the betrayed deserve to know what has happened to them. It will also allow them to fix the problems in there marriage that allowed this to happen.
Me 34
WW 30
Abandoned Feb 17th 08, D-Day Aprl 27th 08.
Returned home Jul 7th, OC born 12/30/08
The FOG is clear, and we are in recovery.
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I think lokil has left the building. Another 'smash and grab...'
Preach the Gospel every day. When necessary, use words.
St. Francis of Assissi
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It is amazing reading this stuff. This young woamn truly beleives it was a drunken mistake and simply occured because of a compliation of random factors-drink, the BW going to see her boss, her husband's absence, etc.
There is no way two people just fall into bed as the result of the above. There had to be prior development of the relationship.
So, it will probably happen to her again, somewhere down the road.
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I feel so bad for the BS's...thats who we were really trying to save.
BW me-41 WH -39 DS - 9 married 12 Yrs together(?) 18 yrs when A discovered DDay aug 2007 found MB dec 2007 Moved out april 2008 still seeing OW Plan B Okay I fixed the ages, it was looking screwy. 
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BW me-41 WH -39 DS - 9 married 12 Yrs together(?) 18 yrs when A discovered DDay aug 2007 found MB dec 2007 Moved out april 2008 still seeing OW Plan B Okay I fixed the ages, it was looking screwy.
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After seeing the agony the Wookie went thru and hearing from fWW's like Writer and the Mrs. and my dearling AW, I want the best for ALL involved because infidelity is such an equal opportunity destroyer.
I never had to take the Kobayashi Maru test until now. What do you think of my solution?O'hana means family, and family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten. My Story Recovered!
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Yes, I guess you are right Dealan-de...But the waywards seem to be choosing self destruction in this case...and by doing that they are destroying their spouses too. Oh well.
BW me-41 WH -39 DS - 9 married 12 Yrs together(?) 18 yrs when A discovered DDay aug 2007 found MB dec 2007 Moved out april 2008 still seeing OW Plan B Okay I fixed the ages, it was looking screwy.
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Hello,
Some of you had an affair and didn't tell your spouse the day after it happened some of you kept sleeping with the other person again and again yet you stand here in judgement making me think not telling everyone this exact moment is the worst thing I could ever do.
For what its worth I have been thinking of telling my husband but not telling him with who or telling my friend at all. I'm off to read the replies last night the thread was locked and I figured this probably is nto the place to work onmy issues.
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Glad you didn�t disappear. Stick around a few more days and learn more about the subject.
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I did not have an affair....
BW me-41 WH -39 DS - 9 married 12 Yrs together(?) 18 yrs when A discovered DDay aug 2007 found MB dec 2007 Moved out april 2008 still seeing OW Plan B Okay I fixed the ages, it was looking screwy.
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...and some of us were lied to for years and don't want to see another person go through something like that...
I never had to take the Kobayashi Maru test until now. What do you think of my solution?O'hana means family, and family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten. My Story Recovered!
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And I am glad that you are thinking about the situation, you should read the thread again from beginning to end...
BW me-41 WH -39 DS - 9 married 12 Yrs together(?) 18 yrs when A discovered DDay aug 2007 found MB dec 2007 Moved out april 2008 still seeing OW Plan B Okay I fixed the ages, it was looking screwy.
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I feel so bad for the BS's...thats who we were really trying to save. Yes exactly, I feel you all want me to be punioshed for waht I did that's why you want me to tell, like if a cheater gets what they deserve then it brings fairness to the world again, and look there were only 2 people in htat room me and him fi I dont tell and he doesnt tell how the hell are our spouses supossed to find out, he doesnt have a cell phone I dont have his email there is no way of me contacting him other than trough my friend so no its not going to happen again.
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I dont want you to be punished at all, if you keep this lie you will be punishing yourself also...I would love for you to have a happy marriage...you cannot do that by brushing this under the rug.
BW me-41 WH -39 DS - 9 married 12 Yrs together(?) 18 yrs when A discovered DDay aug 2007 found MB dec 2007 Moved out april 2008 still seeing OW Plan B Okay I fixed the ages, it was looking screwy.
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I well if you must know the details we did not used protection we are both married and monogamus so it didnt seem necesary but there wasn`t any time to become pregnant anyways my friend came home before that. I think that if he is bold enough to have sex with you when his wife leaves for an hour, he has done this before. What are you going to do if you are pregnant?
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Ohhh, I never even thought of that HH...good observation.
BW me-41 WH -39 DS - 9 married 12 Yrs together(?) 18 yrs when A discovered DDay aug 2007 found MB dec 2007 Moved out april 2008 still seeing OW Plan B Okay I fixed the ages, it was looking screwy.
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