For you to tell the truth. You went into another woman's HOME and rutted like a pig in heat with this woman's husband. You are dangerous. You owe her the truth. You owe your H the truth so they can protect themselves from you.

What kind of a person does that to another woman? To her own husband? To HERSELF? What kind of a person allows herself to be disrespected like a piece of used toilet paper by a married man?

VERY well put, SH.

lokil, your husband will find out. The OM's wife will find out. You can't trick them forever.

you guys are harsh, and you wondered why i'm terrified of tell anyone, i woke up feeling better this morning and now i'm a crying mess again thnaks.

Lokil,

READ the articles here. You CAN help yourself and your dear husband. There is HOPE, but only if you ACT instead of cower.

Are you a woman who will fight for her marriage and family or not?

No. What is "harsh" is screwing another woman's husband in the safety of her home. There is nothing we can say that is as "harsh" as that. There are not words that are as harsh as what you have done to this woman and your husband.

You should feel bad. But lying about it won't make it go away and won't make you feel better. It will just make you a cheater AND A LIAR.

Do you want to redeem yourself or do you want to make this worse by compounding the crime?

Harsh? i will tell you what is harsh...trying to live the rest of your life with the biggest elephant in the room. You will be forever on edge waiting for the truth to come out and believe me it will. We are trying to put the control in your hands and give you the opportunity to get your integrity back. Right now you have zero integrity. We are offering you a way to become an honorable and loving wife again even if that means taking the chance that your H will be unable to forgive you.

You see not giving him the chance (and the OMW) to make his own choice about being married to you is the most disprectful thing you could possibly do to this man you claim to love.

You owe these people the truth, Lokil. You did a horrible thing to them. And they will find out.

You can salvage your soul by doing the right thing or you can run, but you will never get away. It wil follow you into the gates of hell.

Boo-hoo.

This isn't all about you.

You did a terrible thing. There are victims to the crime you committed.

You have a chance to prove you have a modicum of integrity.

It's simple. DO THE RIGHT THING!

The right thing is always to tell the truth and live an honest upstanding life. It will set you free.

Lolkil,

I'm going to make things very simple for you. The ONLY way to save your marriage is to be honest and tell your BH. The people here are ALL giving you the same advice. I haven't seen a single person tell you to keep this awful secret. If you want to save your marriage then there is only one way to do it. Sure, you can keep your dirty little secret for a few weeks, months, perhaps even years....but it will come out sooner or later. If you want to have any shot of saving your marriage then don't compoud this horrible act by lying about it. Stand up and face the consequences. I know you might not believe this right now but your marriage can survive this. There are plenty of people on this site who have done just that. Do the right thing. We will be here to help you whatever happens as long as you do the right thing.

Mindshare

If we can't persuade you to tell the full truth right from the beginning, at least tell your BH that you had sex with someone else, without naming names as you suggested.

Baby steps toward telling the truth are better than staying in a lie.

And right now, today, tell your friend that her WH was cheating on her, even if you don't name the woman. She deserves to know that her marriage is broken.

It's a start.

you are acting like if I entred an orphanage with a machine gun and killed 100 babies,

You can tell me 1000 times that it was wrong I knwo it was wrong I knwo it was very very wrong, have some compassion, some of you have been where I am.

It is not our "compassion" that is in question; it is yours. You are cruel, manipulative and dangerous. You screwed another woman's husband in HER own living room. It doesn't get any meaner and dirtier than that, friend. That is VILE and evil.

Have some compassion, lokil, tell your victims the truth.

Which is exactly why no one wants you to stay where you are. Scores of people are showing you the way out.

You can't undo what you did, but you can either make the damage far, far worse, sinking yourself even lower in the process, or you can begin the process that will restore your dignity and honor, and possibly even your marriage in the process.

>have some compassion,

I have enormous compassion for you. I've seen what you are going through and wouldn't wish it on anyone. I've also seen first hand what your dear one's life will be like UNTIL you tell and I can honestly say the longer you drag this out the more it will seem like you killed a thousand babies to him.

Yes, I have been where you are. I know you are scared and hurting. I also know that not telling your H the truth will only prolong and worsen your pain and his.

You know the A was wrong. You don't seem to know that lying is wrong. People are just trying to show you that both things are equally damaging to your M. Two wrongs will never make a right.

Not only did you screw this woman's husband in her own house, but you want to LIE about it so you can go back and do it again. You want to lie to his wife and your husband so you can continue to harm them.

So I say to you: have some compassion.

Listen, forget it, there are so many posts telling you how to save your marriage after an affair....Dont tell your husband, dont tell anyone....Come back to us in a year, a month, 5 years...when everything explodes into he77...we will see if we can help you then.

Right now you already know what you are gonna do, so do it. Nothing.

Send your poor BS and friends BS here too....They will need it...They will be nearly destroyed by then .

That is a great incentive to tell them I'm going to call them right now.