Jee thanks

If you divorce your husband...and your lover divorces his wife, both of you could then have sex together again. And again.

But just wait for the divorces to be final first. Obviously you have no love for your own husband if you had unprotected, risky sex with another man while his wife was at the store.

Hey, maybe you could divorce your husband, the other man could get a divorce and you two could marry each other.

lokil,

Thanks for answering my questions.

I would like to let you know, in addition to being a former 'ho, my sister has also screwed TWO of her friends husbands and is knee deep in her 'ho-dom. So, I am speaking to you as I wish I could have spoken to her (I didn't know in time).

I really am having trouble understanding why you didn't push away or smack him and leave when he hugged you. THEN you sit at chat with your friend while your panties are moist with her husbands "droppings".

That just boggles my mind.

You were that warped of a person a few days ago, are you going to continue to be that warped?

FYI: the two husbands my sister screwed (her friends husbands) were both philanderers, but of course, my sister assumed that she was special. She also played nicey nice with these women while she had screwed their husbands.

Now, her DD gets teased on the bus by kids that know her Mom is the neighborhood tramp.

It always comes out, tell your hubby.

lokil, I wrote a long post last night but the thread was locked before it got put on the board. Now I can't remember what my "great words of wisdom" (lol) were.

I do know I said a couple of things to you:

One was that you are quite right. Some of us here (me included) didn't stop at once, we went right on and had long A's. My A was 18 months long. I didn't stop after once and come for help on an infidelity board. For that I really, really commend you.

The second thing was the fact that you DID come here to MB looking for help and/or advice. I'm sure that this sort of stuff happens ALL the time but people just try to forget it or push it under the carpet hoping it'll never see the light of day. Because you're still here and still listening I really think you want to do the right thing. You know the right thing is telling your H and I also understand how totally scary a thought that is.

But..... if you want a good marriage. A good long loving marriage where this will NEVER happen again you are going to have to face him. Trust me, he will find out.

You can learn boundaries here and precautions and how to protect your marriage and not just "live in the day".

You also asked if he would be upset after finding out after 21 years. I can tell you from my 55 years old to your 29 years old that old hurts, old secrets and old lies hurt much,much more when they've been hidden and the longer they're hidden, the more they hurt.

Thanks this actually helped

How about I never be in a room with him alone much less while drunk.

How about you are never alone in a room with ANY man.

(your husband is the only exception)

how about I never leave my room ever again that way Im certanly wont cheat again.

Well, I'm glad you're taking this seriously.

That might be a good idea since you are so dangerous. You are a loose cannon who lost her panties.

A woman who isn't bright enough to keep her panties on should not leave her room. I agree with that.

For waht is worth I was cheated on, my ex before my husband, and it hurt it still hurts I never thought I would be on the other side of this, and honestly I wish I never found out, the pain was too much.

Yes, adultery is painful. So are LIES about adultery.

"How about I never be in a room with him alone much less while drunk."

Ah no. That's not it. Personally, I couldn't see these people again after this. I would throw up with guilt.

Edited to add: Y'know at 29 you think you'll be friends with the same people all your life. Friends come and friends go but you and your H will be together forever (hopefully).

Your marriage is far more important than a friendship. Far, far, far, far more important. That friendship is now impossible anyway.

they are my best friends my business partners you dont get it my relationship with them is almost as important as my relationship with my husband I cannot stand the thought of losing them as friends.