Ok, will ck it out now...then I have to run some errands, so I will respond in a bit.

As far as the bar thing, I dunno, maybe she won't go to them, if its not what I want. I guess for SOME reason I have trust issues with her right now, lol.

She probably won't, but....

Well if she has no desire to screw other men any longer means in her mind that your M is completely A proof then I am sorry but you and her have not grasped the whole reason A's happen.

I dont really feel like cheesecake for desert TODAY doesnt mean I wont want it TOMORROW, especially if everytime I open the refrigerator I see a slice sitting on the shelf with maybe fresh rasberries on top. Heck I aready gained 5 pounds since I started this diet whats another pound more

Sorry but I have nothing to give but toughlove in your stitch!
You need to re-evaluate the reasons WHY you refuse to set a bar of what is acceptable to you and what is not and stick to it.

When to call it quits was interesting, but I want to re-read it. The unconditional love thing is deep.

'WMF', I have boundary issues, as my therapist observed in our first session. When my wife was out of the country, 1 month post Dday, I had really thought I had myself together. People did notice the change in me, I felt the change. I was so confident. I did lay everything out to my wife when she returned. I did post about it all on here.

Then she saw how serious I was, I was dead serious. I was ready to call it quits, no question. She said the, I love you's, a million times, I never returned them. I was doing very well, very strong.

She kept on me, and one day she broke down and was crying saying how she doesn't want to be alone and how she wants to work our marriage, etc.

Slowly but surley I started to let my guard down...little by little and I could see it slipping away.

Before I knew it I was in the same position I was in before Dday.