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I have been dx'ed for 3 1/2 years (summer '06). I am curious. What actually caused you to seek treatment? From what I understand, most BP's refuse to believe anything could possibly be wrong with them and therefore refuse to seek any kind of treatment. Diagnosis and treatment is usually forced on them by extreme consequences of there own mania, such as landing in a psych ward. Most never stop and go.. "Wow, This is nuts! Something is defiantly wrong with me. I need to see someone!"
Last edited by Gack1; 02/03/10 04:30 PM.
Me 34
WW 30
Abandoned Feb 17th 08, D-Day Aprl 27th 08.
Returned home Jul 7th, OC born 12/30/08
The FOG is clear, and we are in recovery.
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After the PA was over, I tried to just go back to normal, but I was a wreck. The guilt started crashing, and I really felt myself coming unglued. I went back to the doctor, and after a loooong visit and a billion questionaires, that's what he decided.
Within 2 weeks after starting an antipsychotic, the full force of what I had done hit me. That's when I finally, broke, I guess, and then confessed. But I was still kinda "foggy" for awhile. I broke NC a couple of time early on in the form of a letter and an internet search/myspace contact.
I do believe that my mania contributed to my state of mind, but I cannot stress enough that it is still no excuse for adultery. And in addition to, of course, any further infidelity ever, my continuing treatment is also a deal-breaker for H. If I stopped meds, he would either try to have me committed or kick me out or both. And he would be right.
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Okay, FWW BP here
I have been dx'ed for 3 1/2 years (summer '06). My EA began in winter of '05, and the PA began April of '06. Let me say this first so that there is no minsunderstanding. I am 100%, abosultely, no questions asked responsible my horrible choice to have an affair. Hopefully that is clear. That being said, I was in the throes of a massive manic episode from March/April of '06 until the middle of the summer, when I crashed. Here's what I was like when manic:
Though I was the hottest of hot stuff
Dressed very differently
Used foul language
Slept 1-2 hours a night
jogged 3-4 hours a day
Though about sex ALL THE TIME
Did what I wanted when I wanted
Hardly ate
Could not sit still
Extremely impatient
Talked to complete strangers everywhere
Screamed if a red light was more than 5 seconds long
Had a condescending "eye-roll" attitude toward H
Ignored all voices of conscience in my head
Knew I wouldn't get caught because I was invincible
Thought I could charm and control everyone around me
Thoughts raced so quickly that I couldn't follow them, and toward the end my speech didn't make sense because my mouth couldn't keep up either
When I crashed:
Slept, slept, and then slept
Hated myself verbally
Totally self-absorbed
Quiet
Constant crying
Anger
I had had symptoms similar to some of these for years, but not until '06 did I have a severe episode - I was wrongly prescribed an AD that is widely known to cause manic episodes in BP'ers. Unfortunately, the episode had to run its course. Looking back, I wish that we had known what was going on. I don't know what could have helped. I do know that mania is A-W-F-U-L for everyone around someone with BP. That is why I will NEVER be one of those flower-childy idiots who go off their meds.
If she is BP, protect yourself and your kids as best as you need to. Unfortunately, unless/until she get psychiatric help, working a plan won't make much of a difference. She is not in her right mind.
On a more hopeful note, people with mental illness can still be good spouses and contribute to society and stuff. We need treatment, and we need to take responsibility for our actions. If someone will do that, there is hope. lurious - main reason I am posting more again is that my wife was recently diagnosed bi-polar II - she is taking lamitical 200 mg - doc says its mild but does explain some of the behaviour in the past and as of late. Anger is now her big issue - it is no fun living in a house where I get slammed so quickly. I am now working almost 15 hrs a day so I dont have to deal with it. I am breaking all the rules of MB and starting to go through the withdrawl door. Its easy to do - the atmosphere can be so stressful. Cant explain the helplessness - worse still - she thiknks everyone else has the problem.
Me:52
W: 52
Married: 32 yrs
2 Sons (29 & 23)
1 Dtr (20)
1 GDtr (2.5) precious little girl
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Rwinger... If you have not read the book "An Unquiet Mind" by Kay Redfield Jameson yet... you AND your wife should. Link Amazon - An Unquiet Mind She's got other authoritive books on the subject as well. Mr. Wondering
FBH(me)-51 FWW-49 (MrsWondering)
DD19 DS 22 Dday-2005-Recovered
"agree to disagree" = Used when one wants to reject the objective reality of the situation and hopefully replace it with their own.
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Thanks Mr W
Took a glance on Amazon - looks good. She may read it since it doesnt seem blatant like "bi-polar for dummies".
See - I thought it was menopause and before that her emotions were pretty good altho she has had a lot of energy when younger. She used to go into heavy mothering mode when each child was born until ~3yrs.
Starting to see it again with the grand child.
Anoher concern she is drinking quite a bit - that was one of her unusual behaviours couple of years ago during the dark times. Whereas she used to drink a glass of good wine now I am seeing new bottle on the counter each day. Cheap stuff. Anyway still monitoring it.
Have a meeting with doc Friday and will relay my concerns and get his take.
PGM - apologies for the thread jack
Last edited by rwinger; 02/03/10 06:02 PM.
Me:52
W: 52
Married: 32 yrs
2 Sons (29 & 23)
1 Dtr (20)
1 GDtr (2.5) precious little girl
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