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On a more serious note....any suggestions for my exposure letter anyone? Should I just go with Sere's version, forget it or try again?


BW (Me) - 32
WH - 29
2 DD's - 4 & 7
Together 9yrs; Married 3yrs
OG - 17
EA/PA 1/09 - 2/10; D-Day #1 10/01/10 D-Day #2 2/02/10; N/C Est 2/02/10
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I like Sere's version. You had wondered if there is any point, given that her parents are less than stellar examples of guidance. I say deliver the letter. That way you have done YOUR part and the rest is out of your hands. You won't wonder if you should have sent it, or wish you had.

One thing your WH might do to help earn his "F" is to get a phone that has GPS and keep it with him and turned on at all times so you know where he is. You can see that he's in the office at lunch time, and you can call to verify he didn't just leave it sitting on his desk.

Was most of his email/IM contact with OG (other girl, she's not a woman) from his home computer or from work? You could put a key logger on the home computer.

After a month or so you could request that he take a polygraph if you're still unsure of ongoing contact.

Also after a few weeks, when a bit of the super-trauma has settled, you and your H should consider doing the home course (click "Seminars" at the top or bottom of the page).

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Originally Posted by turtlehead
I like Sere's version. You had wondered if there is any point, given that her parents are less than stellar examples of guidance. I say deliver the letter. That way you have done YOUR part and the rest is out of your hands. You won't wonder if you should have sent it, or wish you had.

Great point that I hadn't thought of Turtle. How they feel or what they do is neither my problem nor something I can control, but at least I won't be stuck with Woulda/Coulda/Shoulda's.

Originally Posted by turtlehead
One thing your WH might do to help earn his "F" is to get a phone that has GPS and keep it with him and turned on at all times so you know where he is. You can see that he's in the office at lunch time, and you can call to verify he didn't just leave it sitting on his desk.

He's going to look into it today smile

Originally Posted by turtlehead
Was most of his email/IM contact with OG (other girl, she's not a woman) from his home computer or from work? You could put a key logger on the home computer.

It was all either at work or via his mobile. The net access for his mobile has been cut, so he can no longer access hotmail/FB from it, and I haven't found any evidence of sms's being deleted or anything else.

Work is obviously our biggest issue. I can't watch him while he's there and I have no real way to check on him. Most contact was via hotmail and msn, he has no access to his old hotmail/msn account, I changed the password and he has no idea what it is (with his permission). I randomly check his new hotmail/msn contacts list and there's no sign of her. He's set up a rule on his work email so it auto deletes anything from her without him even seeing it, and he swears he never gave her his work phone number. I guess I should be grateful he had enough brains not to risk his job more than he already was, by at least not using work resources.

His immediate boss is aware of the situation and is watching him like a hawk. She really likes me and is disgusted and disappointed in him right now. She actually punched him when he told her (gently on the arm, but still). She's told him if she sees even a single sign that he's breaking N/C she WILL interfere as well as let me know.

Originally Posted by turtlehead
After a month or so you could request that he take a polygraph if you're still unsure of ongoing contact.

I've looked into the possibility of this. Likely it's going to work out way out of our budget, since our house seemed to decide to go down with the ship and start falling apart just as he moved out of home. Our washing machine died, our bed frame snapped, our pets brought a plague of fleas that had to be professionally treated...feels like the house costs atm are neverending frown It's still a possibility though.

Originally Posted by turtlehead
Also after a few weeks, when a bit of the super-trauma has settled, you and your H should consider doing the home course (click "Seminars" at the top or bottom of the page).

Again, financially atm we def can't do it. We're going to work through HN,HN and SaA first, then see where we are in a couple of months, but have def considered this. WH also suggested the chance of attending a MB weekend. Would be a huge challenge to finance it, but we're considering it. Saving our M is worth at least looking into it.

I think Sere's version seems to be the way to go, with the changes SC suggested. I'm going to re-read it now and then probably print it out ready for my BF to deliver when she goes to get WH's things. Thank you Turtle!


BW (Me) - 32
WH - 29
2 DD's - 4 & 7
Together 9yrs; Married 3yrs
OG - 17
EA/PA 1/09 - 2/10; D-Day #1 10/01/10 D-Day #2 2/02/10; N/C Est 2/02/10
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Just wanted to update for everyone and myself. The rollercoaster continues, up and down.

After the advice from everyone the other day, I managed to go an entire day without mentioning A once, was quite proud of myself and also felt alot better. Unfortunately when we went to bed WH said something that triggered me badly, not so much fun, but he held me through it and gave me lots of reassurance and comfort, which helped alot.

Got his STD test results back yesterday, all clear. I still have to get mine done, I had to give up my GP app to my girls, who both currently have chest infections, so it's postponed for a week.

He has his first IC appointment today and I'll admit to being a little worried. There's some real quacks out there and I guess I'm a little concerned he'll get told it was all my fault or something. Unfounded but a concern none the less.

WH is very down on himself atm, worried he's a 'born liar' and I'd be better off without him, why am I bothering with him, how can I possibly still love him etc. I think alot of it is withdrawl but I'm keeping an eye on him. If it gets much worse, I'll suggest he look into AD's

Still waiting to hear back from my BF about picking up the last of WH's things from OG (thanks Turtle, I much prefer that wording!) home. Have got the exposure letter to her parents all printed out and signed, ready to go, but my best friend is super busy at work this week so I haven't heard from her. Hopefully it can be done soon, that's the last link to OG and I want it severed asap and her out of our lives.

I suspect she's holding on to hope. The same girl that claimed in an email not even a month ago that she'd "never let him go" and would "fight for him" has made no efforts to contact him, which really surprised me. Then I remembered his things still at her home, and she has no idea that I now know he was actually living there, so she obviously expects him to go alone to collect them and I'm guessing she's waiting for him to do that to try and talk him around.

Is it wrong for me to admit that imagining the look on her face when he shows up with my two best friends and stays in the car while they get his stuff, is making me feel a rather sadistic kind of glee? I'm a very mellow person as a general rule, so this hateful side of me actually scares me sometimes, but I think it's pretty normal, at least I hope so!

Sere and SC, I haven't seen either of you in awhile. Hoping you're both doing well. Sere, I was reading your thread the other day. You and BB are a real source of hope and inspiration for me, I hope I can show the same strength and poise you've shown throughout your journey.


BW (Me) - 32
WH - 29
2 DD's - 4 & 7
Together 9yrs; Married 3yrs
OG - 17
EA/PA 1/09 - 2/10; D-Day #1 10/01/10 D-Day #2 2/02/10; N/C Est 2/02/10
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cry

I am in complete shock and horror right now at the randomness that can trigger me.

WH was on his way to his IC appointment and he sent me a pic on his mobile so I knew he was where he said he was. He chose to send me a pic of a flyer/bill for a new comedy on at the theatre in that suburb.

The same theatre that WH and I went and watched Strassman at when we were dating. Strassman that WH's Mum bought me a DVD of for Christmas in '08, that I hadn't actually watched yet, that WH borrowed to watch while we were seperated, that he then sat and watched with OG.

I was shaking too much to respond to WH and he called me to let me know he'd reached the IC's office so I told him I'd triggered. When he asked what happened and I mentioned that was the theatre we'd seen Strassman at, he immediately knew it was the DVD that was the problem, but he mostly sounded annoyed, impatient and frustrated.

I want to give him the benefit of the doubt and say he was annoyed and frustrated that he couldn't come be with me atm, since he was about to walk into his IC appointment, left his car keys in the office and hence even if he did head home instead, it'd still be at least an hour and a half before he could get here, but I can't help feeling like he's starting to see this as all too much hassle.

If that's the case, then I have no idea what to think or feel. I'm probably just overreacting and being oversensitive, since he just sent me a really lovely sms being very supportive and loving and reassuring, but needed to get this off my chest anyway.

I hate it so much that he shared so much of "our" things with OG. Claiming them back is going to be a long hard process. sigh


BW (Me) - 32
WH - 29
2 DD's - 4 & 7
Together 9yrs; Married 3yrs
OG - 17
EA/PA 1/09 - 2/10; D-Day #1 10/01/10 D-Day #2 2/02/10; N/C Est 2/02/10
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Originally Posted by DazedInAus
Is it wrong for me to admit that imagining the look on her face when he shows up with my two best friends and stays in the car while they get his stuff, is making me feel a rather sadistic kind of glee? I'm a very mellow person as a general rule, so this hateful side of me actually scares me sometimes, but I think it's pretty normal, at least I hope so!

Sere and SC, I haven't seen either of you in awhile. Hoping you're both doing well. Sere, I was reading your thread the other day. You and BB are a real source of hope and inspiration for me, I hope I can show the same strength and poise you've shown throughout your journey.
Dazed, I meant to raise this before:

Your H is not to go to her house under any circumstances. He has to IMMEDIATELY never see her again. Dr Harley insists on this, and those of us who have had repeated contact (even non-physical) can tell you how it hurts the BS, has a negative effect on the WS and sets recovery back to day 1.

Every time your H has any contact of any kind, the memory of the affair is revived. Even just seeing her through a car window will do this. There will be at least a few days during which he will think about her and wonder how she is. No doubt he is doing that anyway, but he seeing her afresh will revive his feelings.

You will notice him struggling with his feelings, and you will experience a terrible slump yourself.

OG will write to him and tell him how moved she was by seeing him and how she wanted to throw herself into his arms puke His inner turmoil puke will be reignited puke

I want no excuses from you on this. If you cannot just leave his stuff for her to dispose of as she wishes, then there must be some other arrangement made. In your shoes I would be going with my best friend and making a dignified appearance, exuding contempt for her and her trashy parents. I would be showing that I was having the last word, that I AM HIS WIFE and the harlequin romance was over.

Don't tell me why he must go there. Please tell me what you are going to arrange instead.


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Originally Posted by SugarCane
Originally Posted by DazedInAus
Is it wrong for me to admit that imagining the look on her face when he shows up with my two best friends and stays in the car while they get his stuff, is making me feel a rather sadistic kind of glee? I'm a very mellow person as a general rule, so this hateful side of me actually scares me sometimes, but I think it's pretty normal, at least I hope so!

Sere and SC, I haven't seen either of you in awhile. Hoping you're both doing well. Sere, I was reading your thread the other day. You and BB are a real source of hope and inspiration for me, I hope I can show the same strength and poise you've shown throughout your journey.
Dazed, I meant to raise this before:

Your H is not to go to her house under any circumstances. He has to IMMEDIATELY never see her again. Dr Harley insists on this, and those of us who have had repeated contact (even non-physical) can tell you how it hurts the BS, has a negative effect on the WS and sets recovery back to day 1.

Every time your H has any contact of any kind, the memory of the affair is revived. Even just seeing her through a car window will do this. There will be at least a few days during which he will think about her and wonder how she is. No doubt he is doing that anyway, but he seeing her afresh will revive his feelings.

You will notice him struggling with his feelings, and you will experience a terrible slump yourself.

OG will write to him and tell him how moved she was by seeing him and how she wanted to throw herself into his arms puke His inner turmoil puke will be reignited puke

I want no excuses from you on this. If you cannot just leave his stuff for her to dispose of as she wishes, then there must be some other arrangement made. In your shoes I would be going with my best friend and making a dignified appearance, exuding contempt for her and her trashy parents. I would be showing that I was having the last word, that I AM HIS WIFE and the harlequin romance was over.

Don't tell me why he must go there. Please tell me what you are going to arrange instead.

Hopefully we've come up with a better solution, but I would appreciate your thoughts on it first SC. You're wonderful at pointing out the issues for my currently messed up brain. THANK YOU!

WH remembers where OG's father works and it should be reasonably simple to get either a call transferred to him or his email address.

If WH contacts her father and arranges with him for the ok for my friend's to go over and collect his things without him, would that contact be likely to set either of us off?

There is no way we can leave the stuff there, there's over $2000 worth of DJ equipment there atm (and if you think I'm not furious at him for that, you're wrong), nothing else that's there is worth it, but that equipment is not something I want HER having the benefit of.


BW (Me) - 32
WH - 29
2 DD's - 4 & 7
Together 9yrs; Married 3yrs
OG - 17
EA/PA 1/09 - 2/10; D-Day #1 10/01/10 D-Day #2 2/02/10; N/C Est 2/02/10
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Valentines was a rough day. We'd decided to spend the day with friend's of ours rather than try for anything 'romantic'. Unfortunately the friend's are having some serious marital problems of their own, which we kind of got dragged into. Made for a not so comfortable afternoon.

WH's attempts to atone and prove his commitment to R included a lovely bracelet and a notice in the annual "book of love" that appears in our newspaper every year. I didn't get him anything as I still don't particularly feel like celebrating right now.

WH was very loving and supportive and falling over himself to reassure me all day, which was great. I had a few moments of tears. Stupidly enough, looking at my washing machine, which he bought for me 2 weeks before he moved out, had me bawling. I'd told my Mum about it and wasn't I lucky to have such a wonderful, loving, generous hubby etc. Turns out he went shopping for it WITH OG, and she'd protested mightily at him buying it for me! So doing washing yesterday set me off *sigh*

Rest of the night was good, but he went to bed before me and once I joined him, my brain was flooded with thoughts and mental images. At least I know for now on that going to bed seperately is a BIG mistake.

His IC app went well, he has some homework to do that she wants me to help with and she prescribed him naturopathic sleep/anti anxiety aids, which seem to have helped over the last few days. Next app is Friday so we'll continue to see how it goes.

Really rough couple of weeks coming up, between WH's birthday, our youngest DD's birthday, the 1 year anniversary of the first time WH slept with OG and our Wedding Anniversary, all in the space of 4 weeks. Not looking forward to it really.

Knowing he saw her last year on our wedding anniversary means there is no chance in heck of me wanting to celebrate that day. Our "other" anniversary, of how long we've 'been together' is a week beforehand. Since I've found no evidence to suggest he saw her that day, Mum suggested we just celebrate that instead. Since that was our original wedding date, it makes sense and might make me a little less likely to trigger big time.

I'm frustrated with myself, because I can't seem to stop myself from LB'ing when the resentment and anger starts to build up. Any suggestions for what I can do control myself?


BW (Me) - 32
WH - 29
2 DD's - 4 & 7
Together 9yrs; Married 3yrs
OG - 17
EA/PA 1/09 - 2/10; D-Day #1 10/01/10 D-Day #2 2/02/10; N/C Est 2/02/10
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I see you have been married for three years yet he has been cheating on you almost two of those years.

And you still want to save the short marriage? Wow.

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Originally Posted by Bubbles4U
I see you have been married for three years yet he has been cheating on you almost two of those years.

And you still want to save the short marriage? Wow.

One year, not two, and just because we spent 6 of our 9 years together, unmarried, does not in any way, shape or form diminish their impact or relevance. Not to mention the fact that we have 2 young children together, or that we love each other.

Whether a marriage is 'worth saving' is no one's to judge but the people involved.


BW (Me) - 32
WH - 29
2 DD's - 4 & 7
Together 9yrs; Married 3yrs
OG - 17
EA/PA 1/09 - 2/10; D-Day #1 10/01/10 D-Day #2 2/02/10; N/C Est 2/02/10
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Originally Posted by Bubbles4U
I see you have been married for three years yet he has been cheating on you almost two of those years.

And you still want to save the short marriage? Wow.

They have children together - a good enough reason for trying Bubbles.


Me: 56 (FBS) Wife: 55 (FWW)
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Quote
Any suggestions for what I can do control myself?

Well, yea, I do have a suggestion.

Get HNHN and go through the stuff in it. Both of you.

Devote 15 hours a week together.

And all that good stuff that Harley teaches.

Larry

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Originally Posted by DazedInAus
WH remembers where OG's father works and it should be reasonably simple to get either a call transferred to him or his email address.

If WH contacts her father and arranges with him for the ok for my friend's to go over and collect his things without him, would that contact be likely to set either of us off?

There is no way we can leave the stuff there, there's over $2000 worth of DJ equipment there atm (and if you think I'm not furious at him for that, you're wrong), nothing else that's there is worth it, but that equipment is not something I want HER having the benefit of.
Dazed, I'm hoping someone with experience will chip in here, but I am not sure that your H should be making contact with that family at all.

Are you willing yourself to contact the father and make the pick-up arrangements?


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"atone and prove his commitment to R included a lovely bracelet.... looking at my washing machine, which he bought for me 2 weeks before he moved out, had me bawling. I'd told my Mum about it and wasn't I lucky to have such a wonderful, loving, generous hubby etc. Turns out he went shopping for it WITH OG, and she'd protested mightily at him buying it for me! So doing washing yesterday set me off *sigh*"

Time to remove a trigger. Tell WH you need a new washer more then a new bracelet.

Many a BS here has had their WS get rid of a car, bed, sofa, etc, that got contaminated by the OP.

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I haven't been tuning out and will respond soon, but I wanted to share a mental image that just made me laugh until my sides hurt. It really cheered me up so I figured it was worth sharing.

WH earns good money, and so I'm blessed to be able to be a stay at home Mum and be here for my children. OG was well aware of the kind of money he earns. She is a just graduated from high school child, who did not sit any University entrance exams and who, it has become clear from my snooping, isn't really interested in the only kinds of jobs she'd be qualified/hired for, being entrance level type work or customer service.

She clearly saw my WH as a gravy train, since she was blatently emailing him constant links for expensive townhouses for rent for the two of them. It's obvious who she expected to be paying for it.

So I was just outside taking in the washing and thinking about all of this, then I started picturing the look on her face when she FINALLY managed to manipulate him into moving out of home, and he informed her that yes, he was moving out, but that no, Dazed would NOT be going on Sole Parenting govt benefits, that he would be continuing to pay all household bills, buy groceries, pay half the rent and give Dazed spending money for herself whenever she asked for it (he did a whole lot wrong, but at least he did the right thing financially).

I can't picture her being too happy about watching all her little fantasies of an expensive townhouse for her to lounge around in while he went out and earnt a living to support her, crashing down around her ears. Especially when she was desperately playing the 'sweet, supportive, understanding girlfriend' for all she was worth, so really, she couldn't say a word of complaint without making herself look bad.
rotflmao rotflmao rotflmao

Right now I've got to take amusement where I can find it.


BW (Me) - 32
WH - 29
2 DD's - 4 & 7
Together 9yrs; Married 3yrs
OG - 17
EA/PA 1/09 - 2/10; D-Day #1 10/01/10 D-Day #2 2/02/10; N/C Est 2/02/10
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Originally Posted by TheRoad
"atone and prove his commitment to R included a lovely bracelet.... looking at my washing machine, which he bought for me 2 weeks before he moved out, had me bawling. I'd told my Mum about it and wasn't I lucky to have such a wonderful, loving, generous hubby etc. Turns out he went shopping for it WITH OG, and she'd protested mightily at him buying it for me! So doing washing yesterday set me off *sigh*"

Time to remove a trigger. Tell WH you need a new washer more then a new bracelet.

Many a BS here has had their WS get rid of a car, bed, sofa, etc, that got contaminated by the OP.

I will stand corrected, OG did NOT help choose the washing machine, I actually inadvertently did while WH and I were discussing machines via email a few weeks before he bought it, and she wasn't with him when he went to get it.

We're already in the process of getting rid of the car, contaminated BIG by WH and OG. I adore this machine, so I'm willing to give it some time. Before that incident I'd done washing every day without even a twinge, and have been using it every day since without any thoughts at all, except maybe a snigger, since OG DID get annoyed with WH for "spending money on HER"...to which WH responded that I was his WIFE and his children needed a working washing machine and it was really none of HER concern.

I wouldn't believe him about that conversation, but have to admit that financially, he did do the right thing by myself and the kids the entire time we were seperated, so it makes it more believable for me.

Road, you're probably more than correct and we'll have to end up getting rid of it, but this is my dream machine! The one I always wanted and we could never afford before, not to mention it's only 4 months old. My stubborn streak is showing here and if I regret it, I'll happily take my "I told you so's", which will be well deserved.

Oh, and the bracelet, while lovely, was nowhere near the cost of a new machine. It's amethyst, which is my favourite stone, but certainly isn't an 'expensive' stone as a general rule. It is the fact that he actually remembered what my favourite gemstone was, and went out and found something that was very 'me' that makes it special and 'atonement', considering the complete lack of interest in anything to do with my likes or interests during the A.


BW (Me) - 32
WH - 29
2 DD's - 4 & 7
Together 9yrs; Married 3yrs
OG - 17
EA/PA 1/09 - 2/10; D-Day #1 10/01/10 D-Day #2 2/02/10; N/C Est 2/02/10
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Originally Posted by _Larry_
Quote
Any suggestions for what I can do control myself?

Well, yea, I do have a suggestion.

Get HNHN and go through the stuff in it. Both of you.

Devote 15 hours a week together.

And all that good stuff that Harley teaches.

Larry

Thank you Larry. We're currently working our way through HN,HN's. Our copy of SaA SHOULD be arriving tomorrow, if it doesn't, I'll be downloading it from Amazon instead.

I was mostly just hoping for some suggestions of the right thing to do when I'm about to LB (yeah, we need to buy that book also but it'll be a couple of weeks until we can afford to).

When I ask him a question regarding the A, I'm generally in an ok place and I do thank him for being honest with me, since I know he's having problems with that, and I don't LB, but sometimes something comes up that just makes me so angry. I end up with AO's and DJ's all over the place. Is it better for me to just walk away from him before they pop out of my mouth, or is it better to let my anger and bitterness out at this stage, rather than letting it fester.

This is my quandry and if the answer is in one of the books, I'll obviously find out soon, as reading has been badly delayed between sick kids with me at home and him being at work all day.

It's been hard work getting the 15 hours of UA the past week. With both my girl's sick they've been understandably clingy and not wanting to go to bed at night, so that definately hasn't helped and we'll need to work harder on it this coming week. I never really thought about how important that time could be until reading on here.

I really appreciate you taking the time to offer help and suggestions. All of the people on MB are a true blessing at this time, I feel like I'm back in Kindergarten and I have so much to learn.


BW (Me) - 32
WH - 29
2 DD's - 4 & 7
Together 9yrs; Married 3yrs
OG - 17
EA/PA 1/09 - 2/10; D-Day #1 10/01/10 D-Day #2 2/02/10; N/C Est 2/02/10
One day at a time
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