Hope,

Unfortunately, I have experienced this sitch, except for the Divorce part. I did speak to our bankruptcy attorney about a "what if" we were divorced, and the answer was that if there were any credit cards or loans opened with both our name on it, I would be responsible. In our situation, the financial hardship came after WH was laid off from a large corp., bought a business from a friend (overpaid by $50K) and the biz never made money. I stupidly signed the 5-year lease with WH's sister and brother in law so was on the hook for that and the related biz credit card debt.

In our sitch, I moved to another higher paid position which then precluded us from filing Chapter 7. From what you are saying, it looks as though your XWH believes he can file and wipe out his debt. This is not the case since the bankruptcy laws changed in 2005. Mostly to wipe out the debt there would have to be a hardship such as medical or losing his job. If there is any disposable income, then your WXH will have to go through a Chapter 13, which means he will be put on a budget from the state/federal guidelines for food, housing, etc., and the implied difference, whether real or not, has to be paid over to the trustee. Your child support will be included in the budget. There will not be any money to go to Vegas, or any trips. The term of Chapter 13 is either 3 years or 5 years. Higher wage earners will have to go to 5 years. The budget will take into account his current living arrangements and if he does not pay to live there, then the housing/rent allowance will be $0.

In respect to your house where both of you signed for the loan. In most cases, unless you live in a home which is extravegent, the court will let you stay in it and not sell it. If however, you live in a luxery home, then expect that the court will have you sell it and downsize it. A bankruptcy attorney in your area can advise. The bankruptcy laws are Federal Laws and this would go through a Federal Court. The judges opinions vary, so an attorney can advise. For instance, where we went through there were two judges, one tough and one more lenient/reasonable. We have the tough one and have to have our budget reviewed and approved every nine months so that we aren't getting to keep any money that should be paid to our creditors. All tax returns monies have to be turned over to the trustee also and W-4's changes cannot be made without the courts approval.

Lastly, in our situation, we would have been allowed to keep the house mainly because the market value decreased to the loan value. However, the new position was in another state and we sold the house.

Federal bankruptcy judges do not look favorably on individuals who live outside their means for frivoulous reasons and then want the debt wiped out. Do not be surprised if this avenue is not available to your XWH, either version (7 or 13) of the law.

There are books at the library and you can search on the web for information.

Good luck and all the best.

nab

Is there a way you can estimate the CS and house maintenance costs that WH would be responsible for over the next few years and weigh that against his stake in the house...then give him the option of walking away from the house only to forgive all the other debts he owes you? Is it about equal? Write it out...CS, perhaps even medical...just give him a pass...and take everything of value. If it is not equal are there other items you can keep? In a way, a bit like declaring bankruptcy on you, but you walk away with the worth. This way, if he declares bankruptcy, they tell you that you are responsible for the house you say..."Sure, fine..."