I think these two things are key.

Similiar to emails...I know married men who do not email any females without cc'ing their own wife.

I don't think this is "good boundaries".

Why?...it is public....she said she doesn't have private messages with men.

No? There is NO communication without his wife being able to read it.

The kidding around?

He posts that he is waiting for his wife to finish cleaning up the kitchen so they can go somewhere.

I post to him, "Well, if you'd get in there and help her, the kitchen would be cleaned up faster and you could go"

His wife would then post, "You tell 'im, girl!"

There is no flirting and NOTHING said that would not be said in front of my husband or his wife, and our postings to each other are far and few between.

I might occasionally inquire about his parents' health, but that's as personal as it gets.

Again, I think we BS's are oversensitive. I read a lot of this stuff and wonder if I would even WANT a marriage where I am required to see and read every transaction between my husband and every other human on the planet. It's a lot of extra work. I also don't want to limit, or be limited, to the dark ages without cell phones or internet. I'm a social person and I enjoy social outlets - even virtual ones. Heck, I'm still here, aren't I? I have no secrets and I kept no secrets in my M. WXH knew my passwords and at one point I knew his but he changed them at some point. I didn't know until it was too late since it never occurred to me to check. A mistake on one hand, but I really don't WANT to HAVE to check! Does this make sense?

In some ways, this is me moving on. There will be new relationships in my life and I'm in a position where I can dictate how they will go. MB principals will be prominent for sure, but I don't think I can cut a man off from the world, nor be cut off myself. It reminds me too much of those burkas. Let's just hide behind a veil and blame the sight of what's underneath for the sin committed, rather than the sinner. It's just not right. I want a man with boundaries. Real boundaries - the kind that come from within and are part of his character. Not the kind that are merely a list of prohibited activities.

Exactly how I feel Tabby.

Amen, Tabby!!! Feeling that if I slip up on my monitoring of DH's activities I will just be waiting for the other shoe to drop is not the way that I want to live my life. I would rather be alone. I like me. I am a very nice person.

God's Blessings,

Say

Oh..and I just want to say that I've been married for nearly 40 years, not had my needs met in a very long time, and my WS is the one who cheated.

He even had a couple of scumbag buddies to came over to our house when he was away, purposting to be wanting to talk to him, but really wanting to start something with me. I know this, becasuse I later found out that they knew where my husband was...usually at the deer camp.

My boundaries are such that I have never allowed a man into my home unless someone else was there. If a repairman came into my home, my front door was always wide open, and I was where I could be seen from the outside.

His buddies weren't allowed inside the house, either. After I realized what they really wanted, I told them that I had kids to take care of, so goodnight, and then closed the door and LOCKED it.

I do have extremely good boundaries. I wish my husband had boundaries that were half as good as mine!

I agree!!!!

I personally feel that these sites SHOULD be boundaries for all married people, but like I said that is my opinion.

It is not an issue for me as me or my h do not use them, I just think that it is easy enough for an A to happen that these social networking sites just add fuel to the fire if you will.

I guess I just don�t care about technology because I do not feel like I am living in the Stone Age or anything. Like I said I get along quite fine just like I have all of my life without all of the techno stuff.

I use it for my work all the time so I am familiar with all the techno stuff I just have no desire to use it outside of work. And I do not feel like my life is �boring� or "limited" or any of the other things mentioned.

I spend my time with my H �doing things� rather than on the computer or phone or any thing else and I prefer it that way.