10 min from his home - not much else to say, eh?


Its all about her - this is one selfish wayward. I like what JL posted - short and pithy. Need to level set - apparently she is not one bit remorseful of her actions. Incredible.

MC would be a waste of time and money - her actions speaks volumes of the status of the marriage.

Nevermind ...

Pat,

I think I wrote this before in your thread. I'm afraid I'm being redundant here but I'll ask again. Do you think that you can convince your WW to talk to the Harleys?

Steve Harley has an incredible ability to talk to a WS. I think that in your situation it would be well worth it. You aren't going to help her much at this point because she's so angry with you. She won't listen to you. I'm worried that your window is closing so something's got to change. That's where I think the Harleys can step in to attempt to get the message through.

You could try to get her to talk to a MB coach by saying something like: "You know, I could be wrong about the way I've handled this situation. Perhaps we can try to consult with a MC to help ME in dealing with this in a more civilized manner". Like my WW did, your WW may see it as an opportunity to tell an MC how wrong you are.

The Harleys will give you a fair assessment of her waiwarness and give you a plan specific to your situation. Who knows, they may get a message through the fog.

I can say that the best advice I got in this forum was to make an appointment with the Harleys. I did and I can't be thankful enough.

Give it a try.

--ElCamino72

Translation: I checked in to the hotel and invited the OM over, but he turned me down, so yes, I'm telling the truth - I did not see him.

mim

Your very good at translating.

Translation: I checked in to the hotel and invited the OM over and we did things you'd only do to farm animals all night.

We even rented a circus midget.

"Swore on the life of her kids"

I agree with Pariah's translation. When you go to this extreme in conversation you are trying to convince the other person to believe you, because you are lying...

Thanks for the visual.

mim pariah

you have me so torn with your translating skills

MiM is the optimist, I am the reality.

I learned that the bigger the LIE the more outlandish the claims of truth were. The ultimate LIE ends with swearing on the lives of the children.

Otherwise, truth has nothing to hide. His WW is miles deep in an abyss of lies.

LOL. I wouldn't say I'm an optimist. My experience with my FWW during her A-time was that she was REALLY good at the half-truths and deflections. This looked like a deflection to me - pull all the attention to the fact that the OM had not come to the hotel, to avoid answering the question of whether or not she'd actually contacted him / invited him to join her.

Her comment was there was no contact, I did not speak with him I did not meet for drinks, there was nothing. The best though was when she told me it was none of my business. I had to laugh at that one. Her quote was my relationship with him is really none of your business. There is nothing happening or going to happen and that's all you need to know". i.e you screwed it up and I hope you are happy.

Your reply should be, "no I'm not happy, you destroyed our marriage with your choice to have an affair. You want to date other men, then lets divide everything up and get divorced.

YOU will have to pay ME spousal support until I can get a job, not to mention I will have custody of the children until your CRIMINAL record and uncontrolled VIOLENCE is dealt with. YOU swore on the life of MY children, which makes you an unfit mother."

When a WW pulls the "I swear on my kids" card, it means she can't come up with any other outlandish tale to deflect you off the scent. It is a sign of desparation. I have a feeling Pariah is right.

This woman is really toxic right now. Pariah and myself are proof positive of the lengths a WW will go to feed the affair.

Please tell me you're not buying this obvious bullchit!

Absolutely do not underestimate what she is capable of.

I NEVER thought my XW was capable of taking out a hit on me.

Desperate people do desperate things, and to cover up her adultery, mine was willing to play grieving widow.

No, I'm afraid I'm at a point were I've become apathetic to the whole situation. I am doing what I need to do to move ahead and get my life in order. The affair has become somewhat secondary in the scheme of things. I don't know for sure if it's still physical, but there is still contact and that is enough. A month ago I would have been paralyzed by it, now it almost doesn't matter. I'm still trying, but I don't have the urgency anymore. I'm hanging with friends more, taking the kids out, just being busy and moving on which has been a good thing. Can't make her do things and I am done trying to force the issue. Made plans to take the kids skiing next month during break. She didn't care to much for that because she has to work.....oh well

What arrangements have you made toward Plan B?

I guess it's about that time. It would have to be a modified plan B. We would have to live together, but I could minimize contact with her. I could stay upstairs and she down. I can make myself scarce when she's home and only take calls if they pertain to the kids, or just have them take her calls. That's about the best I can do right now. Problem with something like that is she would have to agree to it (sort of). What if she follows you around (which she would) wanting to talk to you? Kind of hard to ignore someone who is doing that.

That's why it is a lot easier to do when they are not in the house. I don't know your reasons for doing it this way and I am sure some people have tried to do it. I will have to let the vets handle this.

In my sitch, I packed up my WH's things and told him that it hurt me too much to live like this. It took about 30 minutes but he did leave. Then the next morning I woke up to 7 phone calls and 3 emails. Over the next few days, it continued. I unplugged the answering machine and he texted me. He still tries to send messages through the kids. He is at least attempting to use the IMs.

I think this will be harder for you to accomplish in your sitch due to her freak out moments.