My reaction too. I only live 120 miles away. I already had a big can of west Texas whoopa$$ loaded in the truck.

Second reaction, Pat, take care of yourself.

"I called her hotel in Midland today and asked for the OM, sure enough they put me through which meens he was there. "

Oh how a WW can lie. Don't answer her calls. Have that plan B letter waiting on the front door before she gets home.

Plan B time has arrived.

Did you talk to the OM?

Did OM have a different room no. then WW?

She said she did not know he was there. Of course that's what she said. I am stalking her, interfering with her job and everything else. Unreal, STALKING your wife by calling a hotel that's a 5 hour drive away to see if she is hooking up with the man she's having an affair with!! And she says I'm crazy! Now, she calls again and swears up and down she has not talked to him in a week and he works in the same town, so there is a chance they will be in the same area sometimes. I am about to lose my mind with this women. I moved all my stuff upstairs in the spare bedroom and sent the letter. Calgone take me away!!!

Move your things back into the master bedroom, and then move all her stuff up to the spare bedroom. Clothes, shoes, cosmetics, everything.

Have you contacted your lawyer? Is that RO still out there or did she get that to go away?

Rooting for ya Pat, if you ever need eyes in the alamo city, I'll do what I can for ya.

RMX

See an attorney, Pat. Nothing will change unless you change it. Moving into the spare bedroom is not the answer. I thought today might be the day you took back your life.

God's Blessing,

Say

Say: Problem is the funds right now. I put her out (if I could) and what the courts order her to pay would not cover costs until I'm working. Right now this is the best/only solution short of selling the house.

I think you could be surprised. Please see an attorney and explore your alternatives before something happens, Patriot. A consultation does not mean that you must go through with anything.

God's Blessings,

Say

If you D, you'd probably have to sell the house anyway. Maybe this will jolt some reality into your WW. She needs to feel more consequences for her actions before she changes her behavior.

Suitcase on front porch;

FOR SALE BY OWNER sign on front lawn

upon your very WW's return.

Praying for ya Pat.

All Blessings,
Jerry

Your WW may be good at other things, but she is a really horrible liar.

All Blessings,
Jerry

I knew this was a lie but didn't want to flush your resolve.

Time to abandon plan A before you have a breakdown.

I read a book once called "Torn Assunder" by David Carder and in it he states, "that unless there is Godly Sorrow on the part of the WS, the chance of reconciliation is zero."

All Blessings,
Jerry

Hello, Pat

Hope this note finds you well. Still contacting, eh?

With all the drambla in your situation, and the explosive temper- this may be a good situation (very rare) that you and your WW should seperate, it there a friend or family member she can move in with for a few weeks (at least?)
There needs to be a breather from all this discovery/agression/stress/drama/discovery -- especially for your kids.

If you feel 100% certain that she will hold her temper, she should be allowed visit kids, forget what everyone is saying about "witholding" kids, it is wishful thinking, it is not legal, and may only be seen as vengence/punishment on your part tword your wife.(with spin) Talk to a good atty.

Everybody needs to calm down. WW needs to pull her head outa' her &^%$. Keep to the MB principles, (expose, boundries and start a plan B), take the high road. She needs to know the constant lying (whoppers) are not going to buy her any more "time".

Barbie is giving some really good advice. Having been through three false protection orders and a custody hearing, here's what I have learned:

1. Judges REALLY hate it when a parent withholds ANY type of visitation unless it is ordered by the court. Anyone who tells you otherwise is giving you really bad advice that can backfire BADLY. During my ex's second protection order she filed against me, I did not see the kids for about 30 days. In the judge's custody summary, my exWW was admonished HARSHLY for me not seeing the kids for a month in light of her protection order being dismissed. It contributed to her being found in contempt for interfering with my parental rights.

2. Protection orders have their place but if there is no abuse found and it is dismissed, you can pretty much assure there will be ZERO agreement on any other divorce issues.

A negotiated separation might be the best course of action to prevent your exWW (or you) from doing anyting that would really jeopardize future litigation or employment. Most importantly, you would want negotiated temporary custody orders prior to any separation. Perhaps a good course would be to offer her 60/40 with you primary residential parent as your opening offer. With her travel schedule, she'll need to PROVE that she can take care of the kids as primary so use that to your advantage.

Between RMX and me, I'll bet we can arrange for someone to get puked on at Fiesta or the Riverwalk.

All great advice...thanks. She is sticking to her story about not knowing. I am going to wait until she gets home so's not to interfere with work and calmly say I want to believe you, but under the circumsatnces I cannot. You want to prove me wrong, pull up your phone records. If there has been no contact, I wont ask again. I wont call the hotels, I'll completly back off. The chances of her letting me see them are about nill. So then I go to Plan B. Hard to do when you live together, but not impossible. She has a court date coming up where I'm suppose to offer a non-prosecutorial letter to the DA. Wonder if I should dangle that carrot for the phone records?? Her having a record is only going to hurt the kids and she knows I don't want that, but she also knows without that letter, there will be no dismissal. What do you think?

This is a HORRIBLE idea! You don't barter with a terrorist and you certainly don't commit to not snooping on her in the future or asking her if she is maintaining NC. You cannot keep that promise!! Why would you even suggest that???

Dear Pat:
Have you already told her/the defense atty that you were going to write this letter? Then you should stand by your word. Recovery is not a tit-for-tat operation. You are no where near recovery, you can only work on yourself. If you do not want to write the letter don't, but tell her now that you changed your mind and STICK to that option.

This is about clear cut boundries on your part. This is called the high road. You want to stop the crazymaking? Then hold to your promises.

Do not barter that.

This woman is lying if she says she didn't know he was there. That's too crazy of a coincidence.

Keep the RO. Let her reap the consequences of her actions. It's not your fault. Use the RO to get her out of the house and pay you CS and alimony while you stay in the house and get back on your feet.

It's not your fault to have her pay for the consequences of her actions. She was the one who was violent enough to warrant an RO. You have evidence of her crazyness through your recording.

She doesn't want to be married or a mom. Fine. Let her move out, support you and the kids, and reap what she has sown.

I honestly don't know why you would want this woman back at all. As a bs, I can never see myself ever tolerating this from anyone ever again.

Absolutely DO NOT negotiate.

Demand the phone records or it's straight to divorce.

Tell her you are willing to financially devistate her since she found it easy to destroy your family.

She has ZERO respecct for you and it's time to snatch it back.