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Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 1,928
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OP
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Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 1,928 |
Well, maybe she doesn't NEED to tell me the truth, but I would like for her to tell me.
I don't think she'll tell me to take a hike, but if she does..oh, well! I won't be any worse off.
"Your actions are so loud that I can't hear a word you're saying!"
BW M 44 yrs to still-foggy but now-faithful WH. What/how I post=my biz. Report any perceived violations to the Mods.
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Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 716
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Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 716 |
I'm just going to tell her that I have some informtion about what happened that night, and that she needs to tell me the truth. I will assure her that I mean to do her no harm. In my humble opinion, the above strategy will not work. First, by saying that you mean to do her no harm, you actually put the thought of you doing her harm in her head. Second, if you truly had "some information", what would you "need" from her? She will know that you are bluffing. Anyone with half a brain would. IMHO, if you really want this information, your best bet is to do it with kindness, though it may disturb you to do so. The old catching more flies with honey than with vinegar saying applies here. Just my .02. pk
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Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 1,928
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OP
Member
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 1,928 |
Well, when I talked to her before, she would not look me in the eye. I was very nice to her when I talked to her, and I can be nice to her when I talk to her again.
As to not meaning to do her harm, I intend to tell her that I am not there to cause trouble in her life, but that I need the truth and hope she will finally give it to me. I am still working out what the best approach would be. I'm not sure if telling her that my H finally 'fessed up and that I want to hear her side of it to verify his story would work or not.
"Your actions are so loud that I can't hear a word you're saying!"
BW M 44 yrs to still-foggy but now-faithful WH. What/how I post=my biz. Report any perceived violations to the Mods.
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Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 7,464
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Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 7,464 |
In the possibility you didn't see Lexxy's post to you, it's worth repeating...
After 12 years I'd tell you to take a hike.
Me: 56 (FBS) Wife: 55 (FWW)
D-Day August 2005
Married 11/1982 3 Sons 27,25,23
Empty Nesters.
Fully Recovered.
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