Yes, you are right, but whoever has primary can pretty much do what they want unless the courts order a geographical restriction which seldom happens. At least I know why she's been so nice lately, she's got het booty call back. As far as joint custody, that is what she wants, not what is in the best interest of the kids. As for all of you worried that I am helping her with a letter in regards to her arrest....what good would it do anyone for her to have a record and lose her job? Ya, a big part of me wants to stick the knife in and twist, but that only hurts the kids. She'll have her own hell coming very soon, which will be her own doing. The fact that she is seeing him again and thinking I will be somehow amicable shows how dimented she has become. Of course she dosen'tknow that I know. I am not going to do anything that will hurt her at work, but I'm going to fight for ME and the kids.

Maybe you don't understand my point. Right now her being with the OM is not my main concern. She loses her job, we lose everything. My kids and I are what is important. She can play her little games and continue down her road of self destruction, that's her choice. But how selfish would it be for me to have her lose her job because she's "banging another guy". Time to move forward. I am fighting for me and my kids..PERIOD. She and her lacivious behaviour are secondary.

Might take you up on the DFW one next week.

As for all of you worried that I am helping her with a letter in regards to her arrest....what good would it do anyone for her to have a record and lose her job?

Ya, a big part of me wants to stick the knife in and twist, but that only hurts the kids.

18 Shocking Statistics About
Children and Divorce


These days most people accept divorce as a way of life, completely unaware of the damage they are doing to their children. Tell your friends, acquaintances and co-workers to read these shocking statistics about divorce and children. It may help save a child�s life down the road. (And no, I�m not figuratively speaking either�.just keep reading to find out what I mean.)

Statistics about Children and Divorce


1. Half of all American children will witness the breakup of a parent�s marriage. Of these, close to half will also see the breakup of a parent�s second marriage.� (Furstenberg, Peterson, Nord, and Zill, �Life Course�)

2. Among the millions of children who have seen their parents divorce, one of every 10 will also live through three or more parental marriage breakups. (The Abolition of Marriage, Gallagher)

3. Forty percent of children growing up in America today are being raised without their fathers. (Wade, Horn and Busy, �Fathers, Marriage and Welfare Reform� Hudson Institute Executive Briefing, 1997)

4. Of all children born to married parents this year, fifty percent will experience the divorce of their parents before they reach their 18th birthday. (Fagan, Fitzgerald, Rector, �The Effects of Divorce On America)

The EMOTIONALLY Damaging Statistics about children and divorce

5. Studies in the early 1980�s showed that children in repeat divorces earned lower grades and their peers rated them as less pleasant to be around. (Andrew J. Cherlin, Marriage, Divorce, Remarriage �Harvard University Press 1981)

6. Teenagers in single-parent families and in blended families are three times more likely to need psychological help within a given year. (Peter Hill �Recent Advances in Selected Aspects of Adolescent Development� Journal of Child Psychology and Psychiatry 1993)

7. Compared to children from homes disrupted by death, children from divorced homes have more psychological problems. (Robert E. Emery, Marriage, Divorce and Children�s Adjustment� Sage Publications, 1988)

These statistics about children and divorce are pretty shocking, aren�t they?

The DEATH of a parent is LESS devastating to a child than a DIVORCE. (Even I wouldn�t believe this if I didn�t see the statistic myself.)

The PHYSICALLY Damaging Statistics About Children and Divorce


8. Children of divorce are at a greater risk to experience injury, asthma, headaches and speech defects than children whose parents have remained married. (Dawson, �Family Structure and Children�s Health and Well Being� National Health Interview Survey on Child Health, Journal of Marriage and the Family)

9. Following divorce, children are fifty percent more likely to develop health problems than two parent families. (Angel, Worobey, �Single Motherhood and Children�s Health�)

10. Children living with both biological parents are 20 to 35 percent more physically healthy than children from broken homes. (Dawson, �Family Structure and Children�s Health and Well-being� Journal of Marriage and the Family)

11. Most victims of child molestation come from single-parent households or are the children of drug ring members. (Los Angles Times 16 September 1985 The Garbage Generation)

12. A Child in a female-headed home is 10 times more likely to be beaten or murdered. (The Legal Beagle, July 1984, from �The Garbage Generation�)

This is what I mean when I said �these statistics on divorce and children could save a child�s life someday.� Did you read #12? A child raised by his/her mother is 10 times more likely to be beaten or murdered.

The Long Term Effects and Statistics About Children and Divorce

13. A study of children six years after a parental marriage breakup revealed that even after all that time, these children tended to be �lonely, unhappy, anxious and insecure. (Wallerstein �The Long-Term Effects of Divorce on Children� Journal of the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry 1991)

14. Seventy percent of long-term prison inmates grew up in broken homes. (Horn, Bush, �Fathers, Marriage and Welfare Reform)

Problems Relating to Peers

15. Children of divorce are four times more likely to report problems with peers and friends than children whose parents have kept their marriages intact. (Tysse, Burnett, �Moral Dilemmas of Early Adolescents of Divorced and Intact Families. Journal of Early Adolescence 1993)

16. Children of divorce, particularly boys, tend to be more aggressive toward others than those children whose parents did not divorce. (Emery, �Marriage, Divorce and Children�s Adjustment, 1988)

Suicide Statistics About Children and Divorce

17. People who come from broken homes are almost twice as likely to attempt suicide than those who do not come from broken homes. (Velez-Cohen, �Suicidal Behavior and Ideation in a Community Sample of Children� Journal of the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry 1988)

High School Drop Out Statistics About Children and Divorce

18. Children of divorced parents are roughly two times more likely to drop out of high school than their peers who benefit from living with parents who did not divorce. (McLanahan, Sandefur, �Growing Up With a Single Parent: What Hurts, What Helps� Harvard University Press 1994)
I can�t stress how important it is to know all the facts before you get a divorce. Your child�s life is in your hands. If you�re seriously considering divorce and you haven�t attempted to save your marriage , I�ve just given you 18 reasons why it�s at least worth a try to keep your family together.

She'll have her own hell coming very soon, which will be her own doing. The fact that she is seeing him again and thinking I will be somehow amicable shows how dimented she has become.

I am not going to do anything that will hurt her at work, but I'm going to fight for ME and the kids.

Okay, maybe it was an overstatement to say it's secondary. I realize it is time for plan B, but how to do that when you live together is hard to figure out how to manage that. of course I want to save my marriage or else I wouldn't be posting so much. Ya, I understand the perseption of me being week and not having a plan, but I do have limits on what I will do. I find it hard to understand how her losing her job is a good thing. Isn't that vendictive and spitefull? Ya, she will have to pay for what she's done, but I'm not going to destroy her. For me, that is to much. I will fight for my rights and those of my kids, but not at any cost.