Larry--I just said that because I have been told here many times (FOW) that I deserve anything that comes my way...and I guess this is included...that's all.

Sunshine--I didn't get an email address...I sent a text message to the phone # that was on the phone bill. I don't even have husbands' password.

Wow, Dawn, I'm sorry. And it sounds like you were gaslighted big time.

Yes, it's the "found the old girlfriend on FB/high school reunion, fill-in-the-blank". Seems to be running rampant (happened to me about 4 years ago).

Don't believe anything he says..from her being "ugly now" to the investment property.

Time to make sure you have enough evidence and start exposing. Work Plan A.

Ourhouse--that's just the thing...I can't get any evidence. Other than the copy of the phone bill and the copy of his bank statement that I have.
I can't get any information on this woman and the story just sounds too far fetched for me. He's there in MI today with this person--they supposedly went (her and her mother) to look at this "investment" property and going to dinner tonight and to "church" tomorrow.
He is buying a house for this woman to live in.

SD

Are you in an affair marriage? If so, I understand the artillery shells, yells and Bronx cheers that would have come your way. Oh yea. . .

I must admit I had several thoughts, and FOW wasn't one of them.

If this is an affair marriage, then Dr. Harley has some things to say about that. Since I follow Dr. Harley's wisdom instead of letting my own emotions guide what I say, then while I might say a few choice bits, you won't hear much from me on how you got where you are and I will try to help.

Dr. Harley attempts to help affair marriages. That is good enough for me. He does say that it is tougher and not as successful as a non affair based marriage. At least that is what I think he said the last time I read that particular point. Now if someone has that much emotion invested where they cannot help, that's ok too, just stay away from your thread. I do that with some myself.

Larry

I don't know enough of your history to comment too much. All I can say is the old saw about walking, talking and quacking as qualifications for a duck.

If he has a history of affairs, then likely he is a PEA junkie. Want to know what that is?

A PI will get to the bottom of this real quick, I would suspect. And the "Going to Church," is classic. How could we possibly be having an affair, we are going to church?

Larry

Larry, if by "affair marriage" you mean were my husband and I having an affair and then got married? Then, the answer is no. I was a single mother and my husband had been divorced himself for a while (I didn't even know him at the time) so, no, I don't believe we are in an "affair marriage".
What I meant was that I myself was involved in an A that ended almost 2 years ago--FOW.
So, I hope that cleared that up.

And, no, he doesnot have a history of affairs.

Well, he now has a history of having an affair.


My question would be "How can her blind mother 'look' at a house?" I know, it's sarcastic, but I would not be able to help myself.


Ask him if the sermon addressed the commandment of adultery.


Then text his OW, and ask her the same thing.


Then, immediately expose his affair. The text messages tell you what you need to know, his idea of buying property where she lives, etc.

My stupid H wanted to actually buy the office building where his OW had her business. The affair-ridden lose their minds.


SB

still- What you want to designate yourself on these boards is FWW(former wayward wife). FOW means Former Other Woman to us and that would mean something completely different.

Scotland--thanks for the correction--I see your point. My error.

Schoolbus, I thought the same thing about the blind mother "looking" at the house but, didn't say anything since I had been told by my H that I was "mean" and he didn't want me causing her any more grief. La la la la la, her son was in the hospital with spinal problems, her husband just dies, her mother was blind and her father recently died...poor old high school girlfriend.
And, she didn't answer me before when I texted her. No reason to think that she would answer if I did again.
I really don't know what to think.
Seems like I just get kicked when I come here to post by some folks. Don't even really know why I keep returning--guess I'm just a glutton for punishment. Thanks to all to didn't turn things around on me this time. Seems to be the story of my life lately.

Your best way to get the real story is to hire a PI and give him/her all the info you have so far. My PI was able to get the whole story, pictures, proof in 3 days. You tipped off your H that you had found strange things with the bank and his phone....he's now hiding all of it from you. Big red flag.

I'd be very troubled if I were you about him taking large sums of money from his account. He could be trying to hide funds in the event of a divorce.....even though you have separate accounts, anything both of you earn while married is considered part of the split in a divorce. You need to find out fast what's happening.

Ladylonglegs,
That was my thought exactly about hiding the money, etc.

I said earlier in this thread that I was trying to hold off letting him know that I knew anything--I wanted more evidence. But, the response that I got was that people could not believe that I was not addressing this right away. So, I told him what I knew.

I know that he is hiding things. And, the money thing is very troubling to me.

SD

I am not gonna look back to see who was giving you a hard time. I don't care. Bottom line is the F, and for me it doesn't matter if it is FWW or FOW. After all, a WW is someone's OW. If somebody has to pee on an electric fence to understand that affairs are a really bad idea, works for me.

Bottom line is that your husband is in at least an emotional affair and you know it. Next step is to get the goods on him and expose. I suspect you know the drill. Plan A, sweetness and light, and a will of steel.

You know what is going on in his head. Do understand that guys don't exactly think like women though, so go read up on Dr. Harley's take on the difference. It will hep you figure out what to do, when. Click on the right hand menu "How to Survive Infidelity."

Larry

StillDawn,

I know you don�t have a ton of hard evidence. Your WH will hide things even better now that he knows you�re onto him.

I see two choices:
Expose now
Hire a PI

And of course Plan A.
What are you thinking about doing to address this?

Buying OW a house, yuck yuck yuck!!
My FWH wanted to send OW a lot of money to help her escape her horrible marriage, as OW�s H was the breadwinner and poor abused OW didn�t have the means to break free. Puke.

This "investment property" idea is nuts!
You need to expose before he signs the paperwork on it, IMO.

Wow, I would have called the cell # again to get this woman to talk to me. There is so many red flags, the longer you wait to get to the bottom of this, the more you are subjecting yourself to be hurt.

Dawn...Where in Michigan? Ahem, you have peeps that you know there...Email me...

Mrs. W

And Dawn...From me to you as your friend, as someone who knows you better than anyone on this site [at least that I'm aware of] - Girl, you have NOT been treated unfavorably here - you've been 2x4'ed for making foggy statements, but Dawn that is done here for YOUR OWN GOOD - really...

There isn't a soul here that will tell you that you "deserve to be a BS" - NO ONE DESERVES THAT!!! The ONLY person here that thinks that is YOU - And I understand - I would have thought the same thing at one point [in the very beginning] had I ended up a BS - But really - STOP IT...WHO ARE YOU TODAY? ARE YOU A WAYWARD WIFE? NO! ARE YOU AN OTHER WOMAN? NO! So knock it off!

What is true about you TODAY, Dawn? What do your ACTIONS of TODAY tell you? Because THAT is who you are...The sooner you stop looking BACK and focusing on the affair and on being an OW, the sooner you will stop sounding foggy and stop getting 2x4ed...

Said with love!

Mrs. W

For the record, that's not true, Larry...I was not an OW - OM was single...Not that I am claiming some sort of "WW honor" [oxymoron, much?] - I'm certainly not...Obviously my own marriage didn't stop me from doing what I did, so I'm sure OM being married wouldn't have either...

I have always been thankful that I didn't throw a grenade into another family though - the one I threw into my own family was horrible enough...

Mrs. W

I did call the number after sending 2 text messages--no answer.

SD,

I just read this thread and please forgive me if I missed anything. Can you go and visit your husband for even a couple of weeks? Just take the time off work or quit if necessary. I would want to be with him right now. If you could do that, you would be restricing his movements plus hopefully being able to snoop and do a great plan A all at the one time. Is that possible?