Actually, we are both living in my home country now. My green card has long expired (May 2009) because he was out of job at the time and we just can't afford for me to fly back to the States and apply from there. I'm living with my parents now.

Right now I am questioning his tears...the desperation look in his eyes that I saw last night. That was the first time he ever cried since all of his As (might be EAs in China) but he still said his biggest mistakes was putting up with my bad lovebusters when we were still living in AL not his As and that's why I'm so torn

20-30 OW???? This is SO not good, china. He sounds like he has a sex addiction, which is a whole different breed of wayward. He needs treatment for his addiction if that's the case. I don't see your M making it while he is addicted to sex.

MB, I know that's so bad. Even the counselor pushed me to get an STD & HIV test which I already scheduled for next week. I am scared inside, scared of the future of ending this M. Thank you for your reply tho' I really appreciate it since I can't seem to be rational right now.

So this is beyond salvage it seems if the red flags shows he might have sex addiction?

I don't know, china. I think you'll know that better after he's been successfully evaluated and treated for that addiction.

Thank you MB, I don't think he would admit or even realized that he have problems and that's the hardest part Thank you tho.

Well, I do not think we women understand what is going on in some men's head. for me I just can not understand why my H would cheat on me for a prostitute in Thailand. There is nothing he can gain, but he is still doing it.

My h had the same problem, he kept on telling he had to end the A his way, he can not stop it, etc. I did threaten him, saying I will expose his affair to the whole wide world, etc. But it did not work, he just pushed me further and I decided to divorce him now. He did not like me threatening him, but I do not think he would have come back even if I had not threatened him. So here you are, I think the best thing to do if you still want him is to keep quiet, write a letter and do plan B, leave him to it see if he comes back to his senses. Try to argue with him is no point, it only drives you crazy and want to hit him every time you see him, and make the whole matter worse. But if you do not want the marriage any more, it is another story. I am going to expose him when I get time and make sure my H is ruined, this is just me (I can not believe how angry I can be sometimes).

So you need to make a decision and stick to it, I think it is hard, but I think plan B and just disappear from his life is the best for you, and for the possibility of your marriage.

again, when men does extrordinary things, people think they have mental problems. I think they are just immoral people, have not got standrads in them, that is all. Do not bother with the sex addiction, if he has addition, let him deal with it. It should not become your problem.