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 Not to beat a dead horse, but I wanted to tell the other posters on this thread that Bubbles posted a pretty good backgrounder on herself over on Ever Hopeful Guy's thread a few days ago. It helped me understand her perspective, even if I don't always agree with her perspective or her tone. Also, like many others I was always curious about her "story" and that shed a lot of light.
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Well, that was a pretty good night of undivided attention playing board games, until she threatened to throw the board at me... Incidentally, this was a JOKE. She really did threaten to throw the board at me, but it was funny. Also, she won.
If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app! Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8. Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010 If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
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Not to beat a dead horse, but I wanted to tell the other posters on this thread that Bubbles posted a pretty good backgrounder on herself over on Ever Hopeful Guy's thread a few days ago. It helped me understand her perspective, even if I don't always agree with her perspective or her tone. Also, like many others I was always curious about her "story" and that shed a lot of light. Link?
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Not to beat a dead horse, but I wanted to tell the other posters on this thread that Bubbles posted a pretty good backgrounder on herself over on Ever Hopeful Guy's thread a few days ago. It helped me understand her perspective, even if I don't always agree with her perspective or her tone. Also, like many others I was always curious about her "story" and that shed a lot of light. Thanks i will look into it tommorow. She sounds like she hasbeen hurt
Me 56 Former BS Widowed 5-17-09 --married 25 years. 4 children DS-35 previous marriage--18-22 DGrandSons 6 and 4 Me former BS DD-29 with DGDs 5 and 1yr DSs 26 and 23 Teilhard de Chardin..“We are not human beings having a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings having a human experience.” ...Sounds about right to me.
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Up and down, up and down. Rollercoaster. We're up today, we were down yesterday, primarily due to going through our ENQs the night before. I was definitely brought down by my wife being so withdrawn, but I think I handled things without love busters, or at least did a better job than I would have in the past. And, you know, our UA time last night included a lovely romantic board game that my wife bought me for our anniversary, in which we got to deposit a lot of love units for each other. That brought both of us back up, substantially, I think. Got to plug the leaks and start making massive daily love bank deposits, and get ourselves so far beyond the threshold of romantic love that dropping down below it would be impossible. One day. 
If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app! Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8. Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010 If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
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In other news, today we ordered every Marriage Builders book that we do not currently own, and an extra copy of His Needs, Her Needs. Importantly, I'm pretty sure that both of us were enthusiastic about the purchase. We also negotiated a little as to which books to get, although I really was open to any combination my wife wanted. Considered buying some additional duplicates of things we have but can't currently find (the questionnaire workbook), but we left those out. Later, if we get to go to Marriage Builders weekend, we will be receiving still more copies of some of these. This is third copy of His Needs, Her Needs, but our original copy is an old outdated one and the newer edition's revisions are just markedly better. We're both trying to read through it in the new edition, and that doesn't work so well.
If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app! Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8. Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010 If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
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It goes without saying that I am incredibly grateful to have a wife who is willing to study this stuff! Just seeing her yesterday reading His Needs, Her Needs, after being so withdrawn, meant a whole lot to me.
Hmm, stuff shouldn't go without saying. I better tell her.
If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app! Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8. Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010 If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
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This is wonderful Markos. Yes - you should tell her
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Read our LBQs last night. Back down at the bottom of the roller coaster, I think.
Last edited by markos; 03/26/10 09:31 AM.
If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app! Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8. Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010 If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
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These are tough to do, Markos. We did our ENQs two weeks ago and still have not done our LBQs. I think my husband is waiting for me to push the issue because he's not looking forward to it.
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Down even further than I thought. I just got told she doesn't want to do our undivided attention time for tonight.
It's really hard to start the day hugging and kissing your wife in bed and then spend the morning being told how I "obviously wasn't going to have much time for her today." She says she shouldn't be so desperate for my attention. Somehow I don't think the solution to this is her attempting to change her feelings.
So, anyway, we're back in withdrawal, for the moment.
Steve's instructions to us were to schedule an appointment with him for next week before we even did the questionnaires, so that's coming up first thing next week.
If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app! Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8. Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010 If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
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These are tough to do, Markos. We did our ENQs two weeks ago and still have not done our LBQs. I think my husband is waiting for me to push the issue because he's not looking forward to it. We did both all in the same week, two days apart. It was DOWN to the bottom, back up to near the top, then a crash back DOWN, all within about 48 hours. Pretty rough on my wife. Not so nice on me, either.
If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app! Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8. Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010 If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
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Steve had us do the Q's but gave us very, very specific instructions about how to share them. Then we are to schedule a follow up.
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Steve had us do the Q's but gave us very, very specific instructions about how to share them. Then we are to schedule a follow up. We followed those instructions, pretty much to the letter, although I think I included at least one negative example on my ENQ when he told us to give only positive examples. (He should've given us that instruction before doing the questionnaires. ) He also instructed us to schedule a follow up appointment with him before even reading them, so we'd have a deadline so we'd have to read them. He said this is something we really needed to get done.
If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app! Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8. Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010 If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
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Yup, we should have scheduled this appt too....but we didn't, hence it's now been almost a month since our last session with him.
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It's really hard to start the day hugging and kissing your wife in bed And not being hugged or kissed back.
If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app! Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8. Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010 If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
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It's really hard to start the day hugging and kissing your wife in bed And not being hugged or kissed back. Guilty. I did that this AM and then pulled my head out of my you-know-where and have piled on the affectionate gestures today. Just trying to get over myself. And in this regard, today at least...feelings are following actions for me. Hallelujah.
Last edited by OurHouse; 03/26/10 01:21 PM.
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My wife says: if you're going to use quotes, at least use the actual words I said and not put words into my mouth. So please be aware that my recent posts above with comments in quotation marks are not an exact quotation.
If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app! Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8. Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010 If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
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Okay, folks, she said she doesn't want to do undivided attention time tonight, but then she came back later and said "I will do whatever you want."
So ... what should I do?
If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app! Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8. Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010 If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
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Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.
(Oscar Wilde)
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