ok, Kingblue, I don't know what to say to you if you don't do anything we tell you. Did you spy on her to find out what she is doing? Did you expose the affair? Did you follow any of our advice?

More talking is not the solution. The solution is to get the goods and expose the affair wide open. Cause as much trouble as possible in the affair.

We are on your side here, but there isn't much we can do unless you take some action.

There not much left to expose. The family and friends know about it. The OM has an exwife how has a restraining order on him and doesn't want anything to do with him. Her Mom has reemed her her already but that's about it. I guess I could try to find his parents and tell them.

Like they would be surprised? Never hurts though. He may owe them money.

Larry

Ok, have you spoken to her parents? Her other family? close friends? The OM's parents? The OM's X-wife?

I just don't get the sense that your heart is in this.

Did you just want to chat?

Is she still seeing the OM from her new digs?

What EXACTLY do they know? and who told them?

Her friends know about it and they will not talk to me. They are telling her to come and stay with them. I talked to her mother but she clams up on me. Her mother has 2 other daughters had affairs and married the om. They come from a very strict Italian catholic family. But they are not much help at all. So basicly I have no one else to tell. She claims she has had no contact with the om and she came to me and told me about the a. I am so confused and frustrated. Perhaps I should make a decision to seperate. I really don't have anyone else to talk to about this. I do see my counselor soon.

My wife told them 1st and I told them. Also she doesn't have new diggs. It her daughter very small apartment. She hasn't moved out. Yet

Your wife is not affectionate to you because she feels like it is cheating on OM. Sounds crazy, but true.

Also, your wife is still seeing OM, thats why she is not staying at home. She is not afraid of you, she is using that as excuse to not be in the marital home so she can attempt to continue her affair.

Your wife spun the situation to make herself seem more of a victim than villan and paint you as the bad guy.

Thats why you always expose without warning WW.

I believe you are right. Probably why my mil clams up. I am at the point here where if this goes south I will loose the house. She also ask if we were to split up that we could be friends. Not saying it's impossible not probable. She swears up and down that she is not seeing him. But my gut tells me different.

Ask her what WW told her. Ask her to help you save your marriage.

Strait from the script.
Tell her absolutly not!

She IS lying!

kingblue, it's very hard keeping up with who is who on these forums. Could you please click "notify" and ask the mods to merge your threads?

I hesitate to respond without a clear certain memory of your story. I'm sure I've read it but can't recall the details at the moment. I'd click your name, view all your posts, and jump through those hoops but my time is limited at the moment. Thanks.

If you are in Plan A then yes keep helping with her biz. Meet her top ENs wherever she will let you meet them.

All my threads are merged now. Hope that helps fill in the story. Yesterday I had my meeting with the counsler and he is in contact with hers. The look on his face showed that things are not going well for us. Then I got to her office to open it up for her. She texted me and said to leave because she didn't want to have a confrontation. Just as I was getting ready to leave she called me and asked me to meet her out front. I did and she was having a major panic attack. She thought it was a heart attack. We took her to the emergency room and they checked her and found her blood pressure was very high. We left there with a prescription for lorazapam for her. We talked for a while and she said she was in love with the om and that she needed time to sort things out. So she is staying with her daughter for now. Guilty conscience getting to her? Have any of you ever notice this in a cheater?

Any one there?

My w called and ask if she could come home yesterday after staying at her daughters appartment for 4 days. She was still having panic attacks and called me about it. After talking to me she started to settle down. It seems that I now have a calming effect on her. I wanted to talk but I had to wake early for work the next day and decided it could wait. I still didn't sleep good. I did ask her if she was back for good and she wouldn't answer that but did say she wanted to work on us. I probably will have a good talk with her tommorrow before or after my counseling session. I am wondering what happened that she started getting panic attacks. Is her body trying tell her something? Any one ever hear of this? I am not sure if it's something the OM said or done.

I really hope you stay strong and keep her out of your home. Let her have her panic attacks - they are good for her. Deep down she knows she has made a terrible mistake, but is so addicted that she can't do the right thing.

Let her know that there is no room in the marriage for the OM, that she needs to write him a NC letter that you read and send, and have no contact with him forever for any reason, and also that she has no contact with his crazy friends.

Tell her that you love her and want to save the marriage, but won't be waiting around forever while she stumbles around trying to find "closure".

Not sure if that is a good thing to do right now. Her blood pressure is very high and near stroke level. I just had her in the emergency room 3 days ago. I don't think she can see the om or it may be over for her. She also wants to have a operation on her female part and it would put her out of commission for about 6 weeks but only if they can bring her pressure down, She is 52. Maybe that will make her come out of it.

Really? If she is in such rough shape, I wonder why she is unwilling to give up the OM? Is your plan to let her move back home with him still in the picture?

Not even sure that's the case. But if it is she can go back and stay with her daughter. I am really getting fed up with her. What's your story?

Divorced. My ex could never break contact with the OW until a week after we divorced. By that time, I was done.