First, go back and read how many of your posts make excuses for her behavior.
All of them.
All of them!!!
This is a gauge for how much you will tolerate and how long you will tolerate her drinking and her cheating.
You have a high tolerance for ENABLING!
This line from one of your posts jumped out at me:
Right now she is reading books, she has booked appointments with counselors and very eager to find out what is wrong with her and what she can do to fix us
She has no business trying to fix the marriage right now. It is she who is broken.
And it is YOU who are broken too. Because you show a willingness to excuse and tolerate it. She married the perfect enabler for her to become a full fledged alcoholic.
See - non-qualified spouses for alcoholics have a very low tolerance of that elephant pooping in the living room. They take one look at someone who is willing to drink and drive, putting themselves and others at risk as well as property.
You tolerated it. You enabled it. Now you're looking at broken marriage vows too because you tolerated it.
STOP EXCUSING IT!
Stop making excuses for her drinking.
Fix that part of you that turns a blind eye to inexcusable behavior.
Get to an Al Anon program right now because until you admit that you are powerless over alcoholics and your life has become unmanageable you will continue to hurt.
And then you'll bring children into the mix.
Don't get me started on the HELL life can be with an alcoholic parent and an enabling parent!!!!
Been there - years of therapy to recover any sense of self.
Please don't inflict that on a child!
And don't let me read ONE MORE EXCUSE out of you!
It's not acceptable.
The sooner you figure that out, the more likely she is to stop drinking - if she wants to remain in a relationship with you. Which also means no more alcohol for you either! EVER!
It's a lifestyle change that is the only way to not just save your marriage but provide the only way for the two of you to have a happy and fulfilling marriage.
