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If you have no children and this has been an on going problem, I think Plan D is appropriate in this case. Recovery is tough. And I thought I had read here in the past, in the case of a short term marriage with no children, Dr. H sometimes recommends D. Yeah no children, marriage will be 7 years next month.
D - Day: 11/7/2009
Ended it with OM: 11/7/2009
Broke NC: 11/9/2009
D - Day 2: ~ 12/10/2009
Started Plan A: 1/8/2010
Found MB: 1/13/2010
Ended it with OM: 1/22/2010 ???
Filed for Divorce: 4/9/2010
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Posts: 35,996
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Well found out this morning she is now talking to one of her ex-boyfriends. Found the messages on her facebook account and it was mentioned that he called her last night and that her mom noticed the difference in her after talking to him.
OM is not married. Though he is the youth leader in his congregation and lives in Ontario.
Do I expose all over again or do I go to Plan B or Plan D?
About EXPOSURE ... in this particular situation ....
Call the latest OM.
If you don't have his number, send him a FB message with YOUR number.
Ask him to call you.
Identify yourself as WW's current H.
Tell him 7 years married.
Tell him multiple infidelities in 7 years.
Tell him he is now officially "warned" and "advised" about the character and moral laxity of WW.
Tell OM that since he is in a "leadership role" in his church, you thought he'd want to know the facts, not some fantasy WW probably told him.
And say:
"You need to know who WW really is.
She is married.
She is a serial adulteress."
Then, tell him:
"Good luck"
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Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 192
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OP
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Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 192 |
Well found out this morning she is now talking to one of her ex-boyfriends. Found the messages on her facebook account and it was mentioned that he called her last night and that her mom noticed the difference in her after talking to him.
OM is not married. Though he is the youth leader in his congregation and lives in Ontario.
Do I expose all over again or do I go to Plan B or Plan D?
About EXPOSURE ... in this particular situation ....
Call the latest OM.
If you don't have his number, send him a FB message with YOUR number.
Ask him to call you.
Identify yourself as WW's current H.
Tell him 7 years married.
Tell him multiple infidelities in 7 years.
Tell him he is now officially "warned" and "advised" about the character and moral laxity of WW.
Tell OM that since he is in a "leadership role" in his church, you thought he'd want to know the facts, not some fantasy WW probably told him.
And say:
"You need to know who WW really is.
She is married.
She is a serial adulteress."
Then, tell him:
"Good luck" Heh...Heh... I had actually all ready thought of that.
D - Day: 11/7/2009
Ended it with OM: 11/7/2009
Broke NC: 11/9/2009
D - Day 2: ~ 12/10/2009
Started Plan A: 1/8/2010
Found MB: 1/13/2010
Ended it with OM: 1/22/2010 ???
Filed for Divorce: 4/9/2010
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Posts: 35,996
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Heh...Heh... I had actually all ready thought of that.
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Tres, the poor schmuck has probably been fed a bunch of lies by WW.
As your "civic duty" and as a "public service" ... unfetter the truth for the betterment of mankind.
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Dang, remind me to never get on Pep's bad side.
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Posts: 192
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Well, I know it may not be MB, but I finally decided that this marriage really isn't worth saving. WW is a habitual cheater, and I doubt she'll ever change. Though I'm still sort of giving it a chance. I told the other day that she has to make a decision as to whether or not she coming back to the marriage. She has an appointment with the psychologist on Wednesday, so I gave her until then to make a decision.
Even if she does decide to come back, I have a laundry list of things that will have to happen (basically EP's) before she can return. I have my doubts that she'll agree to all of them as they're pretty strict and I've suggested them in the past and she's refused.
I know, I'm basically setting this up to end the marriage, but unless she agrees to my conditions to return home, there is no hope.
I want to thank all of you for your great advice, but I don't think Plan B is going to be worth it in this case. I've planned A her enough over the last 5 months and I'm just tired of it and have lost some much of the love that I have for her that I think this is just going to be the best route to take now.
Had a talk with one of our priests wive's yesterday and she really surprised me in saying that she didn't think I should allow her to come back and that I should just end it. Indicated that she didn't think WW was a good role model for DD, and I have to agree with her.
D - Day: 11/7/2009
Ended it with OM: 11/7/2009
Broke NC: 11/9/2009
D - Day 2: ~ 12/10/2009
Started Plan A: 1/8/2010
Found MB: 1/13/2010
Ended it with OM: 1/22/2010 ???
Filed for Divorce: 4/9/2010
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Posts: 2,965
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Tresmal, you have the right to make that decision at any time. It sounds like it's a bit late for Plan B because your love for her is pretty well gone. I don't blame you for not wanting to try again with an habitual cheater.
Sorry it's come to this. How are you feeling about things?
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Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 192
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Posts: 192 |
Tresmal, you have the right to make that decision at any time. It sounds like it's a bit late for Plan B because your love for her is pretty well gone. I don't blame you for not wanting to try again with an habitual cheater.
Sorry it's come to this. How are you feeling about things? Well, I still feel like I should try just because of my morals about committment, but at the same time I just want to move on. I'm tired of putting my life on hold for someone that may or may not want to be with me. I think emotionally I've distanced myself from WW, though the thought of my marriage being over still hurts. I have a lot friends from church that have stood by my side throughout all of this and I know they'll continue to support me, whatever my decision is. But for now, I'm planning and bracing myself to for the "Big D", hopefully it will be quick and with as little pain as possible. As long as WW doesn't fight it, the attorney said we could be all set and done within 35 days from the day I put her on retainer.
D - Day: 11/7/2009
Ended it with OM: 11/7/2009
Broke NC: 11/9/2009
D - Day 2: ~ 12/10/2009
Started Plan A: 1/8/2010
Found MB: 1/13/2010
Ended it with OM: 1/22/2010 ???
Filed for Divorce: 4/9/2010
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Children
by BrainHurts - 10/19/24 03:02 PM
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